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Hump Day thread

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I disagree.The keeper is in charge in the box.If the line is held in or around the box,the keeper can then advance and either catch or punch the ball away.Krul allows chaos in the box.Watch the free kicks again where Hull win headers on the 6 yard line with Krul 3 yards from the goal line.The attackers run 10 to 12 yards,from around 18 yard line,to win headers 6 yards out with Krul shitting himself 3 yards out.


Who are the players that you rate in the Newcastle United team? For a team gunning for the top half, I've put 1st teamers in green, On the fringe in black & those not good enough in red.


Krul - Top 7 'keeper. Still has the odd rush of blood, but generally reliable and sometimes Unbelievable

Elliott - Turboshit Championship 'keeper

Alnwick - In no way ready for the Premier League. Panicked and lacks confidence (which throwing him in at the deep end won't have helped at all)


Janmaat - Best defender at the club. Anyone who says otherwise is wrong and stupid.

Coloccini - Best years are behind him, legs and heart have gone. Such a disappointing end to his NUFC career as I can't seem him turning this around.

S.Taylor - Big heart. Massive heart. Heart so big it takes us space required for his brain. Shame but he'd not look out of place at any one of the mediocre midtable sides.

Williamson - Turboshit Championship centre half.

Dummett - I predict a Steven Taylor career trajectory.

Haidara - Best left back at the club, but as with all left backs, he's better going forward. Still makes daft mistakes imo

R.Taylor - If we could sub him on and off for set pieces he'd be grand. Seems a really good lad, but he shouldn't be near the 1st team.


Anita - Neat, tidy player, but just hasn't made it in the Premier League. Should move to Italy imo

Tiote - Honestly think Pardew stopped him being a brilliant Defensive Midfielder. All too often he's flying into tackles or committing stupid niggly fouls when a better backroom would have coached that out of him. Best to get rid now imo

Colback - Neat & tidy like Anita, but passes forward, better in the tackle. He's a consistent 7/10 player, good to have in the squad and it's depressing that he's arguably our best centre mid, but all power to him.

Abeid - Shows the potential to be the player that Tiote should have become. Strong in the tackle, but technically better. Worryingly prone to having a dig from way too far out (but he's retweeted a few bits of criticism about that so I'm hoping he's aware)


Cabella - Told you he was class :cuppa:

Obertan - Lets not let a wee purple patch fool us, we know he's one dimensional and we should shift him on asap.

Aarons - So young and so few appearances means it's hard to get a proper idea, but he certainly looks like he has the raw talent to be a Premier League winger :CT:

Sissoko - If his heart is in it he's our best player, but I reckon he's off in the summer and as such he'll be a passenger until then.

Sammeobi - Has the raw talent, like his brother did, has no idea what to do with it, like his brother. Kept for the off chance he makes good on his potential.

Jonas - Lovely bloke, honest & brave, but on talent and the application thereof? Not 1st team any more :jonas:

Gouffran - Grafts and has been awful under Pardew. Could he be better under a different, more adventurous coach? Has he been bollocks because he obeyed the coach & curtailed his own game?


Perez - Love him. Proper threat in the box, works hard for the team even though he spends 75 minutes on his own, being kicked by centre backs twice his size.

Cisse - an enigma, when he's scoring it looks so natural that it makes no sense when easier chances are launched into the stands. Can't play the lone striker role though.

Riviere - Needs to bulk up a bit if he's to play the targetman role. Panics a bit too, but that'll be ironed out with game time.

Armstrong - like Aarons I've not seen enough of him, but looks technically capable, could do with a goal soon though, otherwise I'd imagine it'd weigh on his mind some.


I've put the fully registered squad below (notably sans Darlow?).

Newcastle United

25 squad players
Player (*=Home grown)

Abeid, Mehdi
*Ameobi, Samuel
Anita, Vurnon San Benito
Cabella, Remy
Cisse, Papiss Demba
*Colback, Jack Raymond
Coloccini, Fabricio
De Jong, Siem
*Dummett, Paul
*Elliot, Robert
Ferreyra, Facundo
Gouffran, Yoan
Gutierrez, Jonas Manuel
Haidara, Massadio
Janmaat, Daryl
*Krul, Timothy Michael
Obertan, Gabriel Antoine
Riviere, Emmanuel
Santon, Davide
Sissoko, Moussa
*Taylor, Ryan Anthony
*Taylor, Steven Vincent
Tiote, Cheik Ismael
*Vuckic, Haris
*Williamson, Michael James

Under-21 players (Contract and Scholars)
Aarons, Rolando
Alnwick, Jak
Armstrong, Adam James

Atkinson, James Lewis
Barlaser, Daniel Tan
Bigirimana, Gael
Broccoli, Stefan
Cameron, Kyle Milne
Campbell, Adam
Charman, Luke
Cobain, Jamie Anthony
Drennan, Ben
Gibson, Liam Steven
Gillesphey, Macauley
Gilliead, Alex Nicholas
Good, Curtis
Gutierrez, Ayoze Perez
Hall, Andrew
Heardman, Tom
Holmes, Jamie Jason
Hunter, Jack David
Johnson, Louis James
Kemen, Olivier
Kerridge, Joseph George
Laidler, Adam
Lascelles, Jamaal
Longstaff, Sean David
Mbabu, Melingo Kevin
McKinnon, Ryan
Newberry, Michael
Olley, Greg Thomas
Pearson, Brendan Conor
Pollock, Ben
Quinn, Jonathyn Stephen
Roberts, Callum
Satka, Lubomir
Smith, Ben Joseph
Smith, Liam Phillip
Sterry, Jamie Michael
Storey, Jordan Jay
Streete, Remie
Suddick, Lewis Ethan
Trodd, Allan Jake
Ward, Daniel John
Williams, Callum Dylan
Woodman, Frederick John
Woolston, Paul Hudson

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Didn't read it but thought the formatting was appalling.



You're not wrong though. Meh, I'm just procrastinating anyway.

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You're not wrong though. Meh, I'm just procrastinating anyway.

Just kidding. I honestly don't watch enough of us any more to comment on the players much though.

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Hump day?


Wednesday is "hump day" in that once you get past it, it's nearly the weekend.


Are we gunning for the top half?


That's the stated "ambition".

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I rate; Krul, Janmaat, Haidara, Sissoko, Anita, Cabella and Perez

Middling: Colo (definitely on his way down), Dummet (At CB, theres not much between him and Haidara at LB other than Haidara having a fair bit more pace which is essential for a PL fullback), Colback, Tiote, Cisse(Though I still don't trust him with the ball at his feet, he is the worst dribbler I remember for us as far as a PL attacker goes).


everyone else is, imo, not up to much, Gouffran could step up if he starts playing like a forward again rather than just running back into tour half and giving the ball away, looked decent for us when he signed, scored a few goals then got the workhorse tag and lost everything else about his game.

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Every day is Hump Day as far as me and your mam are concerned.


Judith Watson is a saint! You understand me?

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I rate Krul, Janmaat, Colback, Sissoko, Perez and Cisse. Cabella looks like he's starting to come to terms with the league and I think he will be in that crowd soon enough. Hopefully SDJ will also. He looked good whenever I saw him for Ajax so I'm fairly confident he will do the job.


Haidara has potential but is still a little raw. Clearly he is now the best leftback we have. Aarons has burst on the scene this season and if he can stay fit and progress he could be a real star. Armstrong seems to have a bit about him too. His size and our attempts to punt long balls to him have held him back a bit but I still have hope that he is a propper footballer. He needs to go out on loan (not to fucking Rangers). Abeid has come back from Greece and looks like he might just be a footballer too. Not sure whether he will ever make it into the top bracket or not but certainly looks worth a shot.


Colo looks to be fading fast. I hope it's just Williamson dragging him down but I worry he is gone now.


The rest look nothing more than squad players (maybe that's harsh on Riviere as he's not had a real chance with decent players around him) with some of them (particularly Williamson) not even that good.


I think the reality is that even if we kept all of the players we have now in the summer, we'd still need two centrebacks, a centre mid and another striker so that we had a starting 11 full of top half players.

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I rate: Janmaat, Perez, Colback. Krul is very good when he's not making basic mistakes.

the rest are all a bit inconsistent or shit. LIke the analogy of heart and brain for Steven Taylor. Could be good if he actually had 2 brain cells to rub together (or whatever the analogy is).


I think we'll be around the edges of the top 10 come the end of the season. 9th or 10th would be about right.

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