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Haydnator

Newcastle United vs Fat Sam's Bubble Blowers 24/5/15

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So, final game of the season is against Big Sam and will determine whether we are a Premier League club for 2015/16. But, rather than watching the dross on the pitch at St. James' Park next Sunday all fans will have their phones in their sweaty palms constantly refreshing the score for Hull vs Man United.

 

If Newcastle win, regardless of the Hull-Man U result, Newcastle are safe

If Hull fail to win, Newcastle are safe regardless of their result vs West Ham

If Hull and Newcastle both win the mackems will be in the bottom 3 (haha)

If Newcastle draw or lose and Hull win, we are down

 

No one is confident for this game so I'm going to go 1-2 to West Ham. This should be fun.

Edited by Haydnator

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I'm gonna use the split screen function on premierleaguepass for the first time. My prediction: It's gonna be fucking shit whatever happens.

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Look, the Hammers have their flip flops on and absolutely no reason to take the field. There is absolutely no reason we won't pick up the three points we need against one of the worst teams in the league. All of this pointless pessimism is counterproductive. :lol:

 

Newcastle 1 2 Hammers

 

Wonder who the creepy looking middle aged Dutch woman will start against Hull?

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:lol: Fat Sam will be trying his best to get them up for it like, he'll be desperate to do his bit in our relegation party. Scary that our last three games of the season have all come against poor sides who have absolutely fuck all to play for and we'll manage 1 point in total :lol: Fucking appalling, the mental bit is if we manage to escape this mess by Hull losing you know that Carver will come out after the 3-0 loss against West Ham with a full shit eating grin announcing how he has steered the team clear of relegation and that he believes he has proven he deserves the job full time.

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Anything other than a win would allow Hull to catch us by beating Manchester United, although two defeats for the mackems at Arsenal and Chelsea could still mean a point would see us safe, depending on goal difference.

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:lol: Fat Sam will be trying his best to get them up for it like, he'll be desperate to do his bit in our relegation party. Scary that our last three games of the season have all come against poor sides who have absolutely fuck all to play for and we'll manage 1 point in total :lol: Fucking appalling, the mental bit is if we manage to escape this mess by Hull losing you know that Carver will come out after the 3-0 loss against West Ham with a full shit eating grin announcing how he has steered the team clear of relegation and that he believes he has proven he deserves the job full time.

It's Jabbas last game in charge so I don't think he'll give a shit.

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It's Jabbas last game in charge so I don't think he'll give a shit.

Even more incentive, he'll beat us 3-0 we go down after Hull flukes a win and the mackems will have a statue up of him before he even arrives to sign a contract with them to be their new manager.

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If we beat them, and we beat them convincingly, with style and attacking football, then I think a pitch invasion demanding answers for they've been such useless cunts before today would be well in order. Maybe remind one or two of them why it's called the Gallowgate......for next season like.

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That reminds me....if we don't beat West Ham, then Sunderland will finish above us even if they lose their remaining two games. And even if we draw against West Ham, they still have to lose those two games by a net 6 goals for us to finish above them.

 

So there we have it - Carver & the team's motivation to win this game is not only to ensure our Premier League survival, but to ensure the natural order of football in the north east is maintained.

 

So....it's a nailed on defeat.

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why so gloomy?

Cos I want to be a joyless moribund bastard like the rest of you, it seems so easy.

 

;)

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If Arsenal beat Sunderland on Wednesday the only things left to be sorted will be the final relegation spot and the wafa cup spots. I would assume the relegation games will be considered more interesting and therefore on Sky. Our actually game will no doubt be the same as most of our others this season. Dull as fuck!

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