Renton 27424 Posted August 21 Share Posted August 21 25 minutes ago, Toonpack said: Eat a steak in a US restaurant these days and you walk out with huge tits. You say it like it's a bad thing. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 50243 Posted August 21 Share Posted August 21 On 18/08/2025 at 17:33, Christmas Tree said: CT UK tour dates Cambridge Bath Dartmouth Cirencester Citencester Bakewell Harrogate Apologies to Bournemouth and Monmouth. Just one bath in at least a week? Who are you, Matt Targett? 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christmas Tree 6540 Posted August 21 Share Posted August 21 @Gemmill would lurve this hotel 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 61749 Posted August 21 Share Posted August 21 This place were staying has been fucking class. Mostly Germans and Dutch, quite rare to hear a couple chatting and they're English, and just dead quiet and chill. Today we're at lunch and these fucking loud as fuck Essex bamps turn up. They had to ask the lass to put a top on cos it's no bikinis in the dinner place, which tbf she did with no bother. But they're loud and obnoxious and just everything you despise about people from Essex. Anyway 20 minutes ago or so, we were in the pool and these fucking arseholes are walking along the side of the pool and I hear the lass turn around and do an exaggerated blowing of a kiss to someone at the pool, and then shouting "I don't like you!". 10 minutes after that, they're walking across the bridge over the pool trying to make eye contact* with whoever this person was and I hear the lass say "Ugly piece of shit! Who the fack do they fink they are". Honestly you've barely heard anyone raise their voice even to talk to someone for over a week and these cunts turn up, and it's pool wars. I've never seen owt like it. People are looking around with looks of shock on their face at these thick fucking beasts. *The fucking lad who she's with, in trying to make eye contact, actually has some of those glasses where you flip the sunglasses bit up, so he did that to try and initiate the stare-out, which looked NAILS. I'm genuinely considering going and saying something to them if this continues cos it's been class and everyone has been dead canny, and it's fucking embarrassing that it's these loudmouth Essex cunts that have turned up and are causing bother. I assume the people they're mouthing off at are probably in a room next to them, and are now getting no peace and quiet cos of these plebs, and have maybe said something about it. I'll never understand how "Essex" became a thing that people think is good or something to aspire to in our country. They're classless showy cunts, and these are the fucking worst of them. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christmas Tree 6540 Posted August 21 Share Posted August 21 Highly recommend Cambridge like Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 61749 Posted August 21 Share Posted August 21 Full of punts. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christmas Tree 6540 Posted August 21 Share Posted August 21 2 minutes ago, Gemmill said: This place were staying has been fucking class. Mostly Germans and Dutch, quite rare to hear a couple chatting and they're English, and just dead quiet and chill. Today we're at lunch and these fucking loud as fuck Essex bamps turn up. They had to ask the lass to put a top on cos it's no bikinis in the dinner place, which tbf she did with no bother. But they're loud and obnoxious and just everything you despise about people from Essex. Anyway 20 minutes ago or so, we were in the pool and these fucking arseholes are walking along the side of the pool and I hear the lass turn around and do an exaggerated blowing of a kiss to someone at the pool, and then shouting "I don't like you!". 10 minutes after that, they're walking across the bridge over the pool trying to make eye contact* with whoever this person was and I hear the lass say "Ugly piece of shit! Who the fack do they fink they are". Honestly you've barely heard anyone raise their voice even to talk to someone for over a week and these cunts turn up, and it's pool wars. I've never seen owt like it. People are looking around with looks of shock on their face at these thick fucking beasts. *The fucking lad who she's with, in trying to make eye contact, actually has some of those glasses where you flip the sunglasses bit up, so he did that to try and initiate the stare-out, which looked NAILS. I'm genuinely considering going and saying something to them if this continues cos it's been class and everyone has been dead canny, and it's fucking embarrassing that it's these loudmouth Essex cunts that have turned up and are causing bother. I assume the people they're mouthing off at are probably in a room next to them, and are now getting no peace and quiet cos of these plebs, and have maybe said something about it. I'll never understand how "Essex" became a thing that people think is good or something to aspire to in our country. They're classless showy cunts, and these are the fucking worst of them. You get over there and tut mate 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 61749 Posted August 21 Share Posted August 21 I think they might get hoyed out if they keep it up. You can't be trying to pick fights around the hotel pool ffs. This isn't wherever CT goes on holiday. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex 41768 Posted August 21 Share Posted August 21 12 minutes ago, Gemmill said: I think they might get hoyed out if they keep it up. You can't be trying to pick fights around the hotel pool ffs. This isn't wherever CT goes on holiday. I hope they do because the Greek police do not fuck about with arseholes. And it’s always nicer, sadly, when there aren’t loads of Brits staying in your hotel/resort. A sizeable minority are absolutely embarrassing 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 61749 Posted August 21 Share Posted August 21 They've only arrived today or possibly last night, and this is their patter already on their first full day. Brutal, man. Just awful people. We leave on Sunday so I hope they get booted before then if that's what's coming. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex 41768 Posted August 21 Share Posted August 21 Nailed on they like to tell it like it is. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catmag 643 Posted August 21 Share Posted August 21 We had a family like that when we were away a few weeks ago. The Peggy Mitchell-esque matriarch would click her fingers from her sunbed as the waiter went past as summon him with a “Erm, darlin’? Darlin’? Anuvva rahhhnd ‘ere” 😣😣 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Craig 11902 Posted August 21 Share Posted August 21 2 hours ago, Gemmill said: This place were staying has been fucking class. Mostly Germans and Dutch, quite rare to hear a couple chatting and they're English, and just dead quiet and chill. Today we're at lunch and these fucking loud as fuck Essex bamps turn up. They had to ask the lass to put a top on cos it's no bikinis in the dinner place, which tbf she did with no bother. But they're loud and obnoxious and just everything you despise about people from Essex. Anyway 20 minutes ago or so, we were in the pool and these fucking arseholes are walking along the side of the pool and I hear the lass turn around and do an exaggerated blowing of a kiss to someone at the pool, and then shouting "I don't like you!". 10 minutes after that, they're walking across the bridge over the pool trying to make eye contact* with whoever this person was and I hear the lass say "Ugly piece of shit! Who the fack do they fink they are". Honestly you've barely heard anyone raise their voice even to talk to someone for over a week and these cunts turn up, and it's pool wars. I've never seen owt like it. People are looking around with looks of shock on their face at these thick fucking beasts. *The fucking lad who she's with, in trying to make eye contact, actually has some of those glasses where you flip the sunglasses bit up, so he did that to try and initiate the stare-out, which looked NAILS. I'm genuinely considering going and saying something to them if this continues cos it's been class and everyone has been dead canny, and it's fucking embarrassing that it's these loudmouth Essex cunts that have turned up and are causing bother. I assume the people they're mouthing off at are probably in a room next to them, and are now getting no peace and quiet cos of these plebs, and have maybe said something about it. I'll never understand how "Essex" became a thing that people think is good or something to aspire to in our country. They're classless showy cunts, and these are the fucking worst of them. Wouldn’t get this hoi polloi in Wideopen… Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 43278 Posted August 21 Share Posted August 21 2 hours ago, Gemmill said: I think they might get hoyed out if they keep it up. You can't be trying to pick fights around the hotel pool ffs. This isn't wherever CT goes on holiday. Just say 'How! Phil Mitchell, pipe down.' It's just a shame at times like this there isn't any Everton fans around or MLFs to witness a loudmouth being put in their place. Sad. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayatollah Hermione 17001 Posted August 21 Share Posted August 21 Can just imagine the amount of tutting coming from Gemmill here 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 61749 Posted August 21 Share Posted August 21 Luckily for the Essex cunt squad, I haven't seen them tonight. Hopefully they've had the fuck kicked out of them by 30 Germans. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 50243 Posted August 21 Share Posted August 21 44 minutes ago, Gemmill said: Luckily for the Essex cunt squad, I haven't seen them tonight. Hopefully they've had the fuck kicked out of them by 30 Germans. The hotel implemented a “no shit tattoos” rule overnight. Gone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christmas Tree 6540 Posted August 21 Share Posted August 21 Any southern mags or serial killers know which is the best route to take tomorrow morning? Looks little in them time wise this time of night but not sure which has the worst rush hours. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 50243 Posted August 21 Share Posted August 21 It’s Friday tomorrow Avoid anything within 10 miles of the M25 like the plague. And stay well away from M6/M5 nonsense. So, of those routes, A40. But, if you’re in a driving holiday, why use main arteries, get on the smaller roads and see the sights in the way, stop off for a nice lunch at a pub instead of the god awful Moto service stations. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christmas Tree 6540 Posted August 21 Share Posted August 21 4 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said: It’s Friday tomorrow Avoid anything within 10 miles of the M25 like the plague. And stay well away from M6/M5 nonsense. So, of those routes, A40. But, if you’re in a driving holiday, why use main arteries, get on the smaller roads and see the sights in the way, stop off for a nice lunch at a pub instead of the god awful Moto service stations. Cheers. Probably be on the road by 6 and just like to head straight there so we have the majority of the day in Bath. Apparently the Romans used to hang out there so hoping to detect the ancient sites. Or in reality, I’ll point out all the old and historic stuff while she’ll find an excuse to visit card factory and B&M 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meenzer 17743 Posted August 21 Share Posted August 21 Definitely the middle Milton Keynes/Oxford variant, if only to keep your brain a bit more engaged (but also Fist's point about the M25). If you weren't travelling so early then I'd say drop in on Blenheim Palace en route, but then you won't be short of gorgeous old buildings in Bath. You'll even be too early for breakfast meatballs at Milton Keynes IKEA, which is, of course, a crying shame. I can't believe I'm recommending a bookshop to you of all people, but do go to Topping & Company when you're in central Bath, it's a glorious building in its own right and costs nowt to get into unlike most things there. Charlotte Street car park served us well on a recent visit (it's massive so rarely gets properly full unlike some of the others). And if the sun's shining, get an outside table at The Stable on Kingsmead Square, the pizza and beers/ciders are decent and it's a nice spot for people-watching. There ends the sermon. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 50243 Posted August 21 Share Posted August 21 39 minutes ago, Christmas Tree said: so hoping to detect the ancient sites. Do you mean “find” them, or wander round them with a beeby stick? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Craig 11902 Posted August 21 Share Posted August 21 2 hours ago, Christmas Tree said: Any southern mags or serial killers know which is the best route to take tomorrow morning? Looks little in them time wise this time of night but not sure which has the worst rush hours. This is WAY too close for comfort 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christmas Tree 6540 Posted August 22 Share Posted August 22 Keeping with good old Toontastic tradition, I ignored all advice, went it dry on the M25 and sailed through to Bath with ease. Now off to find a bookshop. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ewerk 38716 Posted August 22 Share Posted August 22 Any good services on the way? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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