Psychology

[Rayvin 4964]

Just now, Christmas Tree said:

 

I think I'm an extrovert trapped inside an introvert.

 

Same. I did the Meyers-Briggs test a while back for professional reasons and was rather stunned to find that I scored quite highly as an extrovert. I don't come across that way in normal life (except possibly in conversation with someone I know well). I'm sure therefore that the introversion is a learned survival response based on something bad in the past.

 

It's interesting how we characterize our 'unique' psychological hang ups as fears, IMO. In most cases that is. Fear of failure, fear of public humiliation, fear of eye contact, etc. I wonder if fear is a bigger influence on our lives than something like hope or the pursuit of happiness.

[wolfy 12]

Just now, Rayvin said:

 

Run that past me again, not sure I get it? What do you mean by shots?

 

Agree with your earlier post on public speaking by the way. If I believe that no one can see me, I feel more confident. I much prefer driving at might for this reason.

Shots as in put downs or digs. Stuff like that.

You generally see the under confident people say little until after a few drinks and then you see the (what appears to be) confidence. That's easy to spot and easy to see.

One the other hand you also have those that go into dig mode immediately around the people they are fairly sure will be intimidated enough not to include them in any later dig fest.

The issue starts when someone does just that.

It then becomes a major shock to the system because they let their shield down and now look like the vulnerable person they were trying to hide.

 

It stands out a mile if you look around you and is easy to play against  if you know how.

The major issue is when the person you expose for their weaknesses, turn to violence as they last line of defence.

[Andrew 4218]

If anyone fancies it, I'd be fascinated to know about the board make-up on Meyers Briggs https://www.16personalities.com

 

For the record I come out as an ENTP from that.

[wolfy 12]

1 minute ago, Rayvin said:

 

Same. I did the Meyers-Briggs test a while back for professional reasons and was rather stunned to find that I scored quite highly as an extrovert. I don't come across that way in normal life (except possibly in conversation with someone I know well). I'm sure therefore that the introversion is a learned survival response based on something bad in the past.

 

It's interesting how we characterize our 'unique' psychological hang ups as fears, IMO. In most cases that is. Fear of failure, fear of public humiliation, fear of eye contact, etc. I wonder if fear is a bigger influence on our lives than something like hope or the pursuit of happiness.

You can never do a genuine test by yourself, on yourself. You subconsciously skew the answers.

Most people believe they are totally different to how they come across.

The best people to give you answers to what your real self is, is your partner of many years or your own family, assuming a close bond.

That will get your true results for at least 80%.

A decent psychologist will get you closer to the 100% mark of what you are really like inside, as opposed to what you portray yourself as.

 

Every person has all the traits to be almost all of the things we all see in others. The issue is in having the correct environment to display them.

 

[Renton 17759]

36 minutes ago, Rayvin said:

 

While this is kind of amusing when told like this, it must also get quite annoying  for you?

 

Are you shy generally as well or is it just this one thing? Same for CT I guess.

 

If you can't look someone in the eyes it's inevitable to manifest as shyness because you become socially awkward. Worse, it can come across as aloofness. People who know me well will tell you it's not the real me. 

 

I've also got a shit memory for faces or attaching names with faces. Picking up kids from the school yard is a nightmare with all the identikit children and assorted mombies. Can never remember anyone's name. 

[Dr Gloom 19819]

Pretty sure my mother is bipolar - soaring highs, crushing lows - and I'm pretty sure my brother has a narcissistic personality disorder. My father and I are relatively normal which makes me think a lot of this stuff is generic rather than nurtured. It runs strong in my mother's side of the family - her sister and my my maternal grandmother were off their tits too. 

[Rayvin 4964]

23 minutes ago, Andrew said:

If anyone fancies it, I'd be fascinated to know about the board make-up on Meyers Briggs https://www.16personalities.com

 

For the record I come out as an ENTP from that.

 

Admittedly I kind of whizzed through this, but I got ISFP from this one - which is totally at odds with my previous one from a professional setting, which came up with ENFP. Kind of makes me think I have a 'professional self' and a 'normal self'.

[Rayvin 4964]

23 minutes ago, wolfy said:

You can never do a genuine test by yourself, on yourself. You subconsciously skew the answers.

Most people believe they are totally different to how they come across.

The best people to give you answers to what your real self is, is your partner of many years or your own family, assuming a close bond.

That will get your true results for at least 80%.

A decent psychologist will get you closer to the 100% mark of what you are really like inside, as opposed to what you portray yourself as.

 

Every person has all the traits to be almost all of the things we all see in others. The issue is in having the correct environment to display them.

 

 

This could also be true, and might explain my erratic test results

[ewerk 26316]

I'm ISTJ-T which I guess isn't a bad thing.

[Christmas Tree 3997]

41 minutes ago, Renton said:

 

If you can't look someone in the eyes it's inevitable to manifest as shyness because you become socially awkward. Worse, it can come across as aloofness. People who know me well will tell you it's not the real me. 

 

I've also got a shit memory for faces or attaching names with faces. Picking up kids from the school yard is a nightmare with all the identikit children and assorted mombies. Can never remember anyone's name. 

 

Exactly the same in the school yard where as our lass can name every kid / parent.

[Dr Gloom 19819]

the eye contact thing is a funny one. avoiding eye contact completely is a sign that someone is shy, or not very comfortable in their own skin but, conversely, overdoing it on the eye contact is kind of freaky. a balance of holding someone's gaze during conversation and looking away while gathering thoughts is probably the best approach in a job interview situation. i was interviewing someone once who was clearly trying his utmost to maintain eye contact throughout. creepy as fuck. 

[Rayvin 4964]

3 minutes ago, Dr Gloom said:

the eye contact thing is a funny one. avoiding eye contact completely is a sign that someone is shy, or not very comfortable in their own skin but, conversely, overdoing it on the eye contact is kind of freaky. a balance of holding someone's gaze during conversation and looking away while gathering thoughts is probably the best approach in a job interview situation. i was interviewing someone once who was clearly trying his utmost to maintain eye contact throughout. creepy as fuck. 

 

 Aye. There was an occupational psychologist who was with us for a while who would stare at you intensely while making assessments. I had her sit in with me while I was interviewing someone once and I could feel her eyes boring into the side of my head. I ended up forgetting how to speak on several occasions because it made me so uncomfortable.

[Renton 17759]

ISTP-T in that questionnaire.seems right enough.

 

BTW, I disagree about giving talks on the phone not being stressful. Being on a teleconference with 20 senior healthcare professionals is stressful as fuck whether they can see you or not. Worse imo, like listening to the match on the radio. 

[wolfy 12]

It seems weird how everyone here appears to be an interviewer rather than an interviewee.

 

[Alex 30393]

  INFJ-a according to that.

[Dr Gloom 19819]

29 minutes ago, wolfy said:

It seems weird how everyone here appears to be an interviewer rather than an interviewee.

 

 

it's not impossible to be both

[wolfy 12]

Just now, Dr Gloom said:

 

it's not impossible to be both

I never said it was. 

[The Fish 8989]

1 hour ago, Rayvin said:

 

Does the failure one come from a specific incident where failing had particularly bad consequences, or were you raised in a high pressure environment?

 

I share aspects of the attention craving stuff too I think but it conflicts with my fear of being shown up - between the two concerns, I might actually come across as balanced (although in reality, both things are stressful for me).

 

Dunno to be honest. There isn't a specific event that leaps out where I've tried and failed with calamitous results. I think expectations from my parents/teachers were quite high for me from an early age, certainly seeing my 5yr old nephew getting the same kind of praise I got and with the benefit of hindsight and objectivity thinking it a little OTT.

 

Everything academic came easily to me, didn't really need to try hard until A-levels. That may have impacted it too, I dunno.

[Rayvin 4964]

34 minutes ago, wolfy said:

It seems weird how everyone here appears to be an interviewer rather than an interviewee.

 

 

Renton shared one where he was the interviewee. You could perhaps draw a conclusion here that we're sharing stories that put us in positions of power in order to make the sharing easier though?

[Rayvin 4964]

4 minutes ago, The Fish said:

 

Dunno to be honest. There isn't a specific event that leaps out where I've tried and failed with calamitous results. I think expectations from my parents/teachers were quite high for me from an early age, certainly seeing my 5yr old nephew getting the same kind of praise I got and with the benefit of hindsight and objectivity thinking it a little OTT.

 

Everything academic came easily to me, didn't really need to try hard until A-levels. That may have impacted it too, I dunno.

 

Yeah, a lot of that sounds familiar. Are you sure your issue is that you're afraid of failure and it's not just one of not being sufficiently stimulated though? What makes you think the concern is failing?

[The Fish 8989]

ENFP-T fwiw.

[Christmas Tree 3997]

2 hours ago, Andrew said:

If anyone fancies it, I'd be fascinated to know about the board make-up on Meyers Briggs https://www.16personalities.com

 

For the record I come out as an ENTP from that.

 

Mediator (INFP-T)

 

Recognised quite a lot.

 

[wolfy 12]

12 minutes ago, Rayvin said:

 

Renton shared one where he was the interviewee. You could perhaps draw a conclusion here that we're sharing stories that put us in positions of power in order to make the sharing easier though?

Aye. the weird wasn't a dig, it was more of a thought, as I have also been interviewer and interviewee.

[The Fish 8989]

7 minutes ago, Rayvin said:

 

Yeah, a lot of that sounds familiar. Are you sure your issue is that you're afraid of failure and it's not just one of not being sufficiently stimulated though? What makes you think the concern is failing?

 

Experiences at college, Uni, employment. Where there was an opportunity to flex my mind a bit, or catch the eye with a piece of work, an essay, or a project, I’d procrastinate until there was only sufficient time to put in the bare minimum and thus go under the RADAR. Had opportunities to start/join start up businesses and I’d err on the side of comfortable mediocrity, rather than put myself out there, even when the risk isn’t that great. Even in the Podcast, I’ve been invited onto talkSport a couple of times (to fill in for another no-mark guest) and I’ve shied away from it. Despite being pretty comfortable talking to large groups of people at social functions or in an office environment. So it’s not a fear of attention.

 

So here’s an opportunity to do what I love doing (talking about football) with little or no risk, and I’ve bolted for the door instead.

[Andrew 4218]

Interesting and a little surprising that most of the tests so far are coming out with people as introverts. I know we're on an internet forum but as far as they go this place is much less...neck beardy than any other online community I've been a part of.