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Morning routines


Holden McGroin
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Whilst I haven't been working:

 

09:00 Wait until wor lass and the bairn have fucked off out, knock a quick batch of sement out, then switch my computer on (sometimes this is reversed) :lol:

 

09:15 Stick the kettle on and head off to the toilet for a James Brown, start the bath running and let the concert commence.

 

09:22 Give my arse a good wiping and step straight into the awaiting bath.

 

09:23 Give the headpiece a good cleaning, then wash my hair etc, finishing off with a short soak with the Spa on.

 

Very Important, ensure rusty bullethole is clear of any debris to avoid arseitch later on. Nowt worse than getting caught in public place with a plague of arse wasps attacking your ring.

 

09:35 Flick kettle on again whilst passing and head off to bedroom to spruce up for the day.

 

09:40 Clothed and ready to rock.

 

09:42 Make Tea and Toast, sit down and watch Sky Sports News to see if the shithouse has been sacked yet.

 

09:55 Brush my dominoes

 

10:00 Roll small spliff, bullet size

 

10:05 Take dog down the Dene whilst smoking biffta on route.

 

10:25 Get paper on the way back, settle down with a coffee and Paper and plan what I'm doing for the rest of the day, happily mellow.

 

All to change from Monday as I'm now back in work :unsure:

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1- depending on what shift im working, if i need a shave, petrol in my car, uniform ironing etc. etc. i get up at either 5.30am for a 7am start, 7.30am for a 9.00am start, 12.00pm for a 2.00pm start, or 6.00pm for a 9.00pm start

 

2- l lie in bed til 5mins before i have to set off

 

3- put in contact lenses

 

4- jump in the shower for 2 mins

 

5 - brush teeth for 2 mins

 

6- throw on jeans and a plain white t shirt for under my uniform

 

7- jump in car

 

8- for an early or night shift listen to talk sport

 

9- for a late shift listen to ipod

 

10- drive flat out at 80mph for 30miles to darlington hoping my car doesnt explode

 

11- park in one of only 4spaces in the whole hospital you dont have to pay for :lol: ( but noone else knows about)

 

12- get into casualty about 30seconds before my shift starts

 

13- get onto shop floor about 1/2 second before my shift starts, red faced and still buttoning up my shirt

 

14- greeted with same disaproving looks i have been getting every morning for years.

Edited by J69
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8.15 - Phone alarm goes off

8.16 - Brush teeth, turn on shower

8.18 - Shower

8.25 - Dry my bits

8.30 - Dress shirt, suit, tie, fresh pants and socks

8.35 - Breakfast - Museli, banana, water

8.50 - Walk to work

9.05 - Arrive at work, doss for 8 hours

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Guest Toplass-101

6.45 - Alarm goes off (then goes on snoose for a bit)

7.10 - Have bath/shower/Brush Teeth

7.20 - Dry Hair/Get dressed

7.40 - Join the other sad buggers in the traffic on A1 :steamtrain:

9.00 - Start work

 

but from this Wed:

7.55 - Get bus into Toon

8.30 - Start my new job :P

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6.45 - Alarm goes off (then goes on snoose for a bit)

7.10 - Have bath/shower/Brush Teeth

7.20 - Dry Hair/Get dressed

7.40 - Join the other sad buggers in the traffic on A1 :steamtrain:

9.00 - Start work

 

but from this Wed:

7.55 - Get bus into Toon

8.30 - Start my new job :P

86002[/snapback]

 

So you can sneak in a sly she-wank then of a morning?

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Guest Toplass-101
6.45 - Alarm goes off (then goes on snoose for a bit)

7.10 - Have bath/shower/Brush Teeth

7.20 - Dry Hair/Get dressed

7.40 - Join the other sad buggers in the traffic on A1 :icon_lol:

9.00 - Start work

 

but from this Wed:

7.55 - Get bus into Toon

8.30 - Start my new job :steamtrain:

86002[/snapback]

 

So you can sneak in a sly she-wank then of a morning?

86005[/snapback]

No need, it was included in the 1st place, but in a lady like way :P

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I can't believe so many people have the energy and time to crack one off in the morning. I hope you do it either during or before your shower you African baby killers.

86049[/snapback]

 

never go out with a loaded gun

86050[/snapback]

 

Aye too risky, it could go off anytime!

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I can't believe so many people have the energy and time to crack one off in the morning. I hope you do it either during or before your shower you African baby killers.

86049[/snapback]

 

never go out with a loaded gun

86050[/snapback]

 

Aye too risky, it could go off anytime!

86052[/snapback]

 

If only Wacky had heeded that advice. :P

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