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Dr Gloom
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2 minutes ago, Dr Gloom said:

i'm in danger of turning into a proper sad bastard, if i'm not one already like. 

its funny, i was never that bothered about drinking to this extent when i was younger. 

the one thing that worries me is that booze is masking a spectacularly dull personality, but then i'm probably nowhere near as fun or interesting when i'm pissed as i think i am at the time. 

I can't stand the day after I've been out and been pissed at times. Not even bollocksed pissed just pissed. Nobody seems to say 'you were mortal' as they're usually the same. I do sometimes recall some dubious patter and cringe although I never run over the gold plated craic that happens so maybe I'm being harsh on myself. :lol: ;)

 

 

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1 minute ago, Renton said:

 

That's because you were always doobied up iirc.

aye and the rest. booze wasn't my drug of choice at all in my 20s. i'm a late bloomer in that respect. 

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:D 

Titty Bars- not even once.…

Glad to serve as an example, you pack of cunts. 

 

Seriously though, Gloomy, if you’re drinking to the point of memory loss, you might want to rein it in. 

I used to drink like a thirsty camel in my twenties, could handle it no bother. 

For a time, though, in my thirties, I had a bit of a dark spell where I was drinking mainly to blot shit out. 

Thats when the memory loss sessions kick in. 

Rather than trying to “give up the booze”, work out why you’re caning it. 

Chances are you probably already have a good idea. 

Once you’ve worked that out, you can address it, and then get on with having a nice drink as and when you fancy. 

That, or you’re a raging lush :D

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12 hours ago, adios said:

Been off it for 7 months, with the intention of staying that way.

 

 

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SNEEEEEEEEEER

 

Wow, that’s impressive. Do you reckon you were addicted?

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20 hours ago, Dr Gloom said:

i'm not an alcoholic or owt, i don't think. i enjoy a civilised glass of wine with the wife and am happy to keep it to a drink or two in certain situations, or to not drink at all several days a week. 

but i don't know when to quit when i'm out in the pub and get the bit between my teeth, which has become a cause for concern. i have been having memory blackouts after binge drinking lately, which isn't great for anxiety, particularly when out with people from work, and tend to do or say things i regret. tbh, if i lived in the states i'd probably already be in AA and therapy for addiction. 

anyone ever stopped for good? 

 

I used to be the same between 35 - mid 40’s (pub night) :lol:

 

3 pints was happy, having a laugh but the fourth would result in trying to extend the night or being arsey with those suggesting it was time to call it a night.

 

Only cure was discipline and stopping at the 3rd. Luckily these nights were with really close friends and family so the damage (doghouse) was there the next day. I imagine it’s a lot harder given your job, location etc when there’s always a ready crowd to go out with.

 

I also see first hand quite a few respectable professional people who have turned alcoholic and it’s a very sad spiral.

 

Leave the heavy nights to the young’uns, get a handle on your tipping point and start metal detecting for the adrenaline hit.

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If you are getting so drunk you black out just have a couple of lines of whiff to straighten yourself up, clears the head and allows more drinking.

 

Or stop drinking so much, either or.

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Strawb, you’re right, nothing sharpens the mind and allows for further binge drinking like it. Luckily it isn’t always freely available. 

CT, solid advice, up until the metal detecting line :lol:

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2 hours ago, Dr Gloom said:

Wow, that’s impressive. Do you reckon you were addicted?

Yeah, I was/am a serious alcoholic.

 

I still do...other stuff about once a month to keep me sane but I don't have a problem with any of that.

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Shit. How bad did it get? Did it ever get close to destroying your career or relationships?  Is the longest you’ve been on the wagon?

I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching the past couple of days, reading up a bit to see if I might be developing into an alcoholic. I don’t think I am. I don’t have a physical dependency. I will happily go days without a drop during the week. I’m what they seem to call a harmful drinker.

One thing is clear -it’s not normal behaviour for a man of my age and I need to sort myself out a bit. 

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1 hour ago, Dr Gloom said:

Shit. How bad did it get? Did it ever get close to destroying your career or relationships?  Is the longest you’ve been on the wagon?

I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching the past couple of days, reading up a bit to see if I might be developing into an alcoholic. I don’t think I am. I don’t have a physical dependency. I will happily go days without a drop during the week. I’m what they seem to call a harmful drinker.

One thing is clear -it’s not normal behaviour for a man of my age and I need to sort myself out a bit. 

 

You're at risk though, obviously wired that way. I'm the same as you. I love the relief from anxiety alcohol gives (at the time). But in the morning, when I'm inevitably feeling shit and being grumpy with the kids, I think always think it's just not worth it. But alcohol is weird, not only does it wipe out your memory of the previous night, over a short time you forget how wretched it made you feel the next day, so you get a craving, and a few weeks later you do it again. I tend to anyway.

 

In all honesty, it'd probably be better for me to give up completely like adios. I actually find abstinence easy and frequently give up for a month or longer. But let's be honest, that is depriving yourself of one of life's pleasures, and I find socialising without drink difficult to say the least. So noe I just ration myself. No alcohol during the week. No drinking at home for the sake of it (but will if football is on or socially). One weekend off a month. One month off a year. And as soon as I feel pissed to the extent I might get memory loss, stop (that's the tricky one).

 

But then, if you get this neurotic about it ultimately that's not a good sign is it? As Homer Simpson said, alcohol really is the cause of and solution to all life's problems. I'll reflect on this tonight with a pint. 

 

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10 minutes ago, Dr Gloom said:

There is a real possibility I’m being a big fanny here.  

I'm inclined to think not as it happens. You're concerned enough to post about it on a message board, what does that tell you?

 

You don't need to abstain completely yet though as far as I can tell. Some good advice posted here. Have a bit of a break and cut down, see how it goes. 

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2 hours ago, Dr Gloom said:

Shit. How bad did it get? Did it ever get close to destroying your career or relationships?  Is the longest you’ve been on the wagon?

I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching the past couple of days, reading up a bit to see if I might be developing into an alcoholic. I don’t think I am. I don’t have a physical dependency. I will happily go days without a drop during the week. I’m what they seem to call a harmful drinker.

One thing is clear -it’s not normal behaviour for a man of my age and I need to sort myself out a bit. 

1

Nah, I've been self-employed and driven most of my adult life so I've done alright career-wise (though I'd likely have done better sober). I have always been a functional alcoholic, rarely drinking before evening.  My sparkling personality has cost me a few relationships but not the drink.  That is related though - I was self-medicating Bipolar for a long time and once I got properly sorted there I eventually figured out I didn't need it any more.

 

As to how bad it was - I'd have a bottle of whiskey most nights for the last few years.  Before that, it was two/three bottles of wine a night (wine cheaper than diesel when I was in France!).  That all culminated with me ending up in a coma for a couple weeks in 2015 and left me with (miraculously only) an insulin resistance that makes me functionally a diet-controlled diabetic.  I should by all rights be dead, should be on permanent dialysis, should be brain damaged (shut up :razz: ) but am somehow the fittest I've ever been.

 

I'm reticent to give advice because I'll obviously end up projecting my experience on to you to some extent but personally, I can't have just one/three/five and leave it so it's all or nothing for me. Few will have the problem to the extent that I ended up with but if you're blacking out a couple nights a week then I think you're right to ask questions.

 

On 15/6/2018 at 11:48, Dr Gloom said:

i don't know when to quit when i'm out in the pub

That (and a couple other similar comments) did set off a few alarm bells when I read it fwiw.  It does suck to have to quit completely but I reached a point where I decided I'd rather never set foot in a pub again than continue this nonsense.  And no, I gave up for a couple years in my mid-twenties, so not my longest period dry.  From that, I can tell you that spending time in pubs sober is fucking awful (for me at least).

 

I've also had a few weeks here and there where I've not touched a drop, so being able to say that isn't necessarily your get-out-of-jail-free card because as you have probably worked out by now, I had a bit of a problem.

 

Hopefully, that can all serve as a warning to others and I've been pretty lucky.  Feel free to PM me about any of it.

 

Good luck with it, you giant fanny.

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Whoah, thanks for sharing @adios 

I do feel like a bit of a fanny after reading that. Was it plain quite early on that you had a problem? Did you find you were in denial for long or did you always know you had a problem? What is life on the wagon like? 

I never thought I had an issue with booze until quite recently. It hasn’t been a case of blacking out on a weekly basis, mainly because I don’t tend to go out that often. I’ll never get close to that state when I’m out with the wifey or other groups of friends. It’s more of a pub mentality when I’m out on my own. Feel like I have the opportunity to regress into my 20s. I’m trying to put it down as a textbook midlife crisis - trying to get as much partying out of my system while I’m still (almost) young enough to get away with it.

I’ve always enjoyed drinking but I’ve probably had half a dozen nights since the turn of the year where I feel like I lost control, which was never really the case in the past. 

I thinking removing myself from those types of nights in the short term might be a good starting point. 

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I think I've mostly been honest with myself about it being a problem, though I spent a long time trying to "manage" it which may not have been as honest.

 

The wagon isn't that bad tbh.  I've avoided venturing out to the pub so far (kind of a pain in Ireland) but I won't do what I did last time and sit watching my friends getting gradually less intelligent and uninteresting while they gain confidence of the opposite, all the while craving a drink so I can relax.

 

I'm toying with the idea of a maintenance dose of molly for nights out because what could go wrong with that? 

 

As much as we rip the piss, you should never feel like a fanny for addressing an issue like this, you fanny.

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