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Mags

Advice?

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Right- here's the situation.

I just got a phone call from a neighborhood mum whose son gets on the bus at the same stop as my two lads. According to her there was an issue today with her lad and my oldest throwing things (don't know what yet) at each other culminating with my lad allegedly punching hers in the hand and him running crying home because it hurt. Now- this boy is mates with the neighborhood troubled kid and his attitude has been shite since they buddied up. All a matter of association at this point for me. While my youngest son is no angel the one involved today is my eldest who is basically a very quiet kid, has a temper but to this point has never started or provoked a fight of any sort but has ended a fair share.He's also got PDD (call it functional autism if you must) which has him truly a nonconfrontational kind of person. Until I can speak with both of my lads I've really nothing to go on except my gut feeling which is this other boy picked a fight with mine, bit off more than he could chew with an older and stronger boy and when things didn't go his way ran home telling tales. My first reaction going with this is to tell the mum to pound sand as her kid had it coming to him for some time yet better judgement had me waiting a bit to find out more of the story. Any ideas/advice or experiences from you lot on how to deal with this? Tempting to have a chat with my two when they're home from school and then call this other kid and his parents over to discuss matter or best to leave it alone and let the boys sort themselves?

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You have to face this ASAP

 

if she called you then it's an issue to her - presumably she's not the neighberhood nutter or anything

 

best to ask your lads what happened and then suggest that you ALL meet up to thrash it out

 

My bet is that both sets of kids are at "fault" but there is no mileage for anyone in fixing the "blame" around someone's neck - the point is to stop it happening again and getting worse.

 

Talk to your kids, then call her up and say what I've said in the para above - if she's got ANY sense she'll agree

 

One thing is for sure - the lads might sort it out or they might finish up in a WW3 situation. If they know both sets of parents are in the loop they are less likely to escallate things in future

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Wor lasses bairn always tells tales on me when I don't give into her demands. Other week she slapped me across the face with both hands as I was tying her shoe laces. So I shouted at her she ran to her mam telling her I had slapped her first! FFS. Lucky wor lass was at the top of the stairs to see it for herself.

 

Sounds to me that your kid was protecting himself or his brother.

 

I wouldn't do owt, just get your boys version of events and if it sounds like this kid was the trouble starter then leave it cos he'll not be starting owt now after your laddie twatted him!!! :)

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thats fine in Walkerville - in the USA they come armed

105246[/snapback]

 

Well her laddie should have shot the liitle toe-rag then to ensure no comeback!

105256[/snapback]

:) He's limited to bow and arrow- he's not responsible enough for a firearm.

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thats fine in Walkerville - in the USA they come armed

105246[/snapback]

 

Well her laddie should have shot the liitle toe-rag then to ensure no comeback!

105256[/snapback]

:) He's limited to bow and arrow- he's not responsible enough for a firearm.

105271[/snapback]

 

Don't know why you're asking tbh. He's your kid, you know him. Go with your gut feeling of what you think is right.

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thats fine in Walkerville - in the USA they come armed

105246[/snapback]

 

Well her laddie should have shot the liitle toe-rag then to ensure no comeback!

105256[/snapback]

:) He's limited to bow and arrow- he's not responsible enough for a firearm.

105271[/snapback]

 

Don't know why you're asking tbh. He's your kid, you know him. Go with your gut feeling of what you think is right.

105279[/snapback]

I know what you're saying- but sometimes as a parent it's a tough call whether you should step in or let the kids handle it. These two are 14 and 12. Personally I'd like to see mine smack the little shite again just for fun.

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Always thought your Lads were younger than that Mags. Personally, I'd get everyone in the same room, parents and kids, and sort it out. At least if it ends in one of these:

 

05-01-01_fight_cloud.jpg

 

..you'll all feel a little bit better. :)

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thats fine in Walkerville - in the USA they come armed

105246[/snapback]

 

Well her laddie should have shot the liitle toe-rag then to ensure no comeback!

105256[/snapback]

:( He's limited to bow and arrow- he's not responsible enough for a firearm.

105271[/snapback]

 

Neither are most Americans tbh. :)

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Neither are most Americans tbh.  :)

105293[/snapback]

 

Aye, us Europeans would know how to handle them responsibly. :(

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thats fine in Walkerville - in the USA they come armed

105246[/snapback]

 

Well her laddie should have shot the liitle toe-rag then to ensure no comeback!

105256[/snapback]

:) He's limited to bow and arrow- he's not responsible enough for a firearm.

105271[/snapback]

 

Don't know why you're asking tbh. He's your kid, you know him. Go with your gut feeling of what you think is right.

105279[/snapback]

I know what you're saying- but sometimes as a parent it's a tough call whether you should step in or let the kids handle it. These two are 14 and 12. Personally I'd like to see mine smack the little shite again just for fun.

105286[/snapback]

 

My mother said that to me once when I gave someone a smack in the gob. I'd put my bike up against the curb and the toad ran over and deliberately knocked it over. So I clocked him one. His mother was at our door in about 10 minutes flat but got nowhere, my mother backed me up completely and the git never did it again.

 

Honestly, I'd ignore it for a bit and see what happens. These things tend to settle down on their own.

 

My kids are 15 and 13 and to be honest my daughter (15 year old) gets called names, I wish she'd give someone a smack for it. I'd back her up if the school had a go at her for it, that's for sure. The problem is, they're a bit funny about that in the UK nowadays.

 

I don't want to move off topic, but it's these bloody do-gooders again, they think you can solve everything by a bit of counselling, or whatever they call it. I'm not on about putting someone in hospital or anything, but a smack in the teeth never did these gobshites any harm in the long run.

Edited by Howaythelads

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I don't want to move off topic, but it's these bloody do-gooders again, they think you can solve everything by a bit of counselling, or whatever they call it. I'm not on about putting someone in hospital or anything, but a smack in the teeth never did these gobshites any harm in the long run.

105315[/snapback]

 

In the past I would have advocated that approach however nowadays If I was a father Id be telling me kids to steer well clear of anything like that. She'll give one of them a clip and next thing you know they'll return with knives. Girls are no better than the lads.

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I don't want to move off topic, but it's these bloody do-gooders again, they think you can solve everything by a bit of counselling, or whatever they call it. I'm not on about putting someone in hospital or anything, but a smack in the teeth never did these gobshites any harm in the long run.

105315[/snapback]

 

In the past I would have advocated that approach however nowadays If I was a father Id be telling me kids to steer well clear of anything like that. She'll give one of them a clip and next thing you know they'll return with knives. Girls are no better than the lads.

105320[/snapback]

 

Well aye, that's a good point to be fair. Which is why I haven't actually told her to give one of them a smack.

 

BTW It's a few lads that are picking on her. Turns out she's 'academic' without trying at all, but these lads are thick as shit.

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Well aye, that's a good point to be fair. Which is why I haven't actually told her to give one of them a smack. 

 

BTW It's a few lads that are picking on her. Turns out she's 'academic' without trying at all, but these lads are thick as shit.

105322[/snapback]

 

well in that case just get a few of the lads together and grab one of them off the street in the back of a Transit van, drive him to the middle of Northumberland and dump him naked to make his way home.

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Well aye, that's a good point to be fair. Which is why I haven't actually told her to give one of them a smack. 

 

BTW It's a few lads that are picking on her. Turns out she's 'academic' without trying at all, but these lads are thick as shit.

105322[/snapback]

 

well in that case just get a few of the lads together and grab one of them off the street in the back of a Transit van, drive him to the middle of Northumberland and dump him naked to make his way home.

105325[/snapback]

 

Sounds like the voice of experience, like. :)

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Guest Toplass-101

If both the kids have been throwing things its sounds like it was 6 of one and half a dozen of the other, and kids being kids, they will always blame eachother.

 

Perhaps just call the lads Mam, and say that you will have a word with your lads, just to put her mind at rest.

 

Then tell your two to stay out of bother on the way to and from school, and tell them that if you receive any more calls from other lads Mams there will be bother.

 

Ed: friggin-ell, ive turned into my Mother!

Edited by Toplass-101

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I'd pacify the mother by assuring her that you will give your's a stern ticking off, but instead, just confront them with what you've heard and get their side of the story and take it from there.

 

There is always two sides to any situation and its always wise to get both sides of the story before reacting.

 

And you know your kids better than anyone else.

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Well, as it stands the story I got from my two has been backed up by another neighbor who witnessed the whole thing. It started with the other two basically name calling and throwing stuff at my eldest. After a point he got annoyed enough that he went in fists flying. Bit of a scuffle with him and the one lad, but then the other one (troublemaker) joined in, ending up with my lad against two. Ended with him punching the one lad's hand and then throwing the other off his back and telling them both to piss off in yank terms. The mum of one hasn't bothered calling back, and the one that called me got all defensive and didn't want to hear nowt about her darling lamb. Final word from me was for them to stay well away, but if those two come looking for more of a do then my two are to stand up for themselves and do as they see fit- I'll back them up unconditionally as long as they don't start it. So there. *stomps foot childishly*

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It's nice to hear about a kid who doesn't start trouble but can look after himself, I'd be proud of a kid like that. As for the other one, would a young one of any age not be embarrassed to complain of being punched in the hand? :)

 

Unfortunately I hear too much of children like SMO's step-kid, I'd be down the adoption agency the first time that happened, so I'm defintely not ready for them.

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Well, as it stands the story I got from my two has been backed up by another neighbor who witnessed the whole thing. It started with the other two basically name calling and throwing stuff at my eldest. After a point he got annoyed enough that he went in fists flying. Bit of a scuffle with him and the one lad, but then the other one (troublemaker) joined in, ending up with my lad against two. Ended with him punching the one lad's hand and then throwing the other off his back and telling them both to piss off in yank terms. The mum of one hasn't bothered calling back, and the one that called me got all defensive and didn't want to hear nowt about her darling lamb. Final word from me was for them to stay well away, but if those two come looking for more of a do then my two are to stand up for themselves and do as they see fit- I'll back them up unconditionally as long as they don't start it. So there. *stomps foot childishly*

105355[/snapback]

 

Sounds good to me.

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best advice a mother ever gave her son "Don't take your guns to town son, leave your guns at home Bill"

 

sounds like you've dealt with it fine. but I would have been sorely tempted to take your neighbour who witnessed it along with you while you settled it with the parent... but that'd probably just have escalated ill-feeling between your and her.

 

push comes to shove you know your boy can take him, so in an inter-family feud you've already got the upper hand :)

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