Dr Kenneth Noisewater 0 Posted September 8, 2005 Share Posted September 8, 2005 Two plane-loads of volunteers have just left Liverpool airport bound for New Orleans. They're going to help with the looting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catmag 336 Posted September 8, 2005 Share Posted September 8, 2005 Heard the Animals new song? There Was A House In New Orleans? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toonraider 0 Posted September 8, 2005 Share Posted September 8, 2005 WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?" HUSBAND: "Definitely not!" WIFE: "Why not - don't you like being married?" HUSBAND: "Of course I do." WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?" HUSBAND: "Okay, I'd get married again." WIFE: "You would? (with a hurtful look on her face)." HUSBAND: (makes audible groan). WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?" HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?" WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?" HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do." WIFE: "Would you play golf with her?" HUSBAND: "I guess so." WIFE: "Would she use my golf clubs?" HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed." WIFE: - - - silence - - - HUSBAND: "Sh * t." Not really bad taste, but made me smile Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snakehips 0 Posted September 8, 2005 Share Posted September 8, 2005 Why do women like circumcised cocks? They can`t resist anything with 10% off.. 11965[/snapback] How true! Must remember to tell mrs hips that one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Sima Posted September 8, 2005 Share Posted September 8, 2005 What's pink and makes women scream? Stillborn. Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because he's black. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elric 0 Posted September 8, 2005 Share Posted September 8, 2005 (edited) What's pink and makes women scream? Stillborn. Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because he's black. 30123[/snapback] Reminds me of that one Kevin Bloody Wilson track, when he's talking about his guitars: "Do you like this guitar? This is a really interesting guitar in as much as I've just had it repainted, but it's got a very interesting pedigree. This used to belong to Stevie Wonder <long pause>. Fuckin' still does. He's probably crawling around his dressing room lookin' for the fuckin' thing." Edited September 8, 2005 by Elric Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueStar 0 Posted September 8, 2005 Share Posted September 8, 2005 What's pink and makes women scream? Stillborn. Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because he's black. 30123[/snapback] Heard a similar one of "Why does Stevie wonder smile all the time? Cos he doesn't know he's black. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Sima Posted September 8, 2005 Share Posted September 8, 2005 Have you seen Stevie Wonder's kids? Neither has he. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alex Posted September 8, 2005 Share Posted September 8, 2005 (edited) What's pink and makes women scream? Stillborn. Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because he's black. 30123[/snapback] Heard a similar one of "Why does Stevie wonder smile all the time? Cos he doesn't know he's black. 30205[/snapback] To use your own phrase, 1985 just called, it wants its joke back. Edited September 8, 2005 by alex Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 8936 Posted September 8, 2005 Share Posted September 8, 2005 not offensive unless you're offended by bad jokes bu here goes anyway guy in a restaurant gets the waiters attention "Excuse me, this chicken is rubbery" The chinese waiter smiles "ahhh thank yo ver much" bows and walks off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Face 29 Posted September 8, 2005 Share Posted September 8, 2005 A Englishman, an African and an Arab walk into a bar. What a perfect example of an integrated society. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nufc4ever 0 Posted September 8, 2005 Share Posted September 8, 2005 What sits at the end of the bed and takes the piss? A kidney dialysis machine. What do you call a black man with a bust lip? Kitt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sargey 0 Posted September 8, 2005 Share Posted September 8, 2005 (edited) How do you make a young girl cry twice? Wipe your bloody cock on her teddybear What do you call a Welshman with a sheep over both shoulders? A Pimp. What do you call a sheep with a runny nose? Full. Whats the best thing about an eight year old girl? Turn her round shes an eight year old boy. Whats dangerous and eats nuts? Syphilis. Whats the difference between a clit and a mobile phone? Nothing, every cunts got one. How do you get a gay, to fuck a women? Shit in her cunt. Edited September 8, 2005 by Sargey Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark 0 Posted September 8, 2005 Share Posted September 8, 2005 How do you make a young girl cry twice?Wipe your bloody cock on her teddybear 30489[/snapback] Fucking sick that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adios 717 Posted September 8, 2005 Share Posted September 8, 2005 I felt an entire crowd go silent in my head when I read those. Impressive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WubbleUC 0 Posted September 8, 2005 Share Posted September 8, 2005 (edited) Quentin Tarantino is making a new film in New Orleans. It's called Resivoir Wogs. If New Orleans is the home of Jazz, then what the fuck are Katrina & the Waves doing there!? Edited September 8, 2005 by WubbleUC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snakehips 0 Posted September 9, 2005 Share Posted September 9, 2005 Why did the Siamese twins go to France? So the other one could learn to drive! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peasepud 59 Posted September 11, 2005 Share Posted September 11, 2005 I see the Animals have made an apology.... There is no house in New Orleans. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyluke 1 Posted September 11, 2005 Share Posted September 11, 2005 Elton John goes into a tatoo parlour and asks for a Rolls Royce inked onto his nob. "Nah mate you want a Land Rover" says the tatoo artist. "Think of all the shit it's been through". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geordiesned 0 Posted September 11, 2005 Share Posted September 11, 2005 The police spotted four black men floating face down in the flood waters of New Orleans. Apparently it was The Drifters. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catmag 336 Posted September 11, 2005 Share Posted September 11, 2005 The police spotted four black men floating face down in the flood waters of New Orleans. Apparently it was The Drifters. 31498[/snapback] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muthaf***in toon lover 0 Posted September 11, 2005 Share Posted September 11, 2005 The police spotted four black men floating face down in the flood waters of New Orleans. Apparently it was The Drifters. 31498[/snapback] 31500[/snapback] "Let's do "up on the roof" i said. but no, you had to pick "Under the fucking Boardwalk" didn't you!!!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peasepud 59 Posted September 11, 2005 Share Posted September 11, 2005 The police spotted four black men floating face down in the flood waters of New Orleans. Apparently it was The Drifters. 31498[/snapback] 31500[/snapback] "Let's do "up on the roof" i said. but no, you had to pick "Under the fucking Boardwalk" didn't you!!!" 31529[/snapback] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snakehips 0 Posted September 11, 2005 Share Posted September 11, 2005 The police spotted four black men floating face down in the flood waters of New Orleans. Apparently it was The Drifters. 31498[/snapback] 31500[/snapback] "Let's do "up on the roof" i said. but no, you had to pick "Under the fucking Boardwalk" didn't you!!!" 31529[/snapback] Class! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WubbleUC 0 Posted September 11, 2005 Share Posted September 11, 2005 Fucking quality! I've just had the Mayor of New Orleans on the Phone, says this years Mardi Gras will have more floats than usual. Skipping away from all the Orleans talk for a minute, I went to a Muslim Birthday Party last neet. Fucking hell man, fastest game of pass the parcel I've ever seen! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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