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The Bad Taste Joke Thread....


Craig
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Jose Mourinho wants to fuck off to Portugal and never set foot on English soil again.

 

Apparently he's contacted Gerry and Kate McCann for some tips...

 

 

Welcome to September 23rd :lol:

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  • 3 weeks later...

I was feeling a bit depressed the other day so I called the Samaritans and was put through to a Call Centre in Pakistan.

 

I explained that I was feeling suicidal.

 

They were very excited at this news and wanted to know if I could drive a truck or fly an aeroplane.

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I was feeling a bit depressed the other day so I called the Samaritans and was put through to a Call Centre in Pakistan.

 

I explained that I was feeling suicidal.

 

They were very excited at this news and wanted to know if I could drive a truck or fly an aeroplane.

 

:D:rolleyes::nufc:

 

Might even be worthy of 4 tbh.

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3 kids are in class. The teacher asks Amy "What do cows say?" Amy replies "moo!".

 

The teacher then asks Tom "What do sheep say?" Tom replies "baa!"

 

Finally the teacher asks Leroy "What do pigs say?" Leroy replies...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Freeze nigger, what's in the fucking bag?"

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woman goes to the doctors as she has a bump in her stomach

 

doctor says "what if I told you that in a few months your house will be full of dirty nappies?"

 

woman says "I'm pregnant? I'm having a baby??"

 

doctor says "no- you have bowel cancer"

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woman goes to the doctors as she has a bump in her stomach

 

doctor says "what if I told you that in a few months your house will be full of dirty nappies?"

 

woman says "I'm pregnant? I'm having a baby??"

 

doctor says "no- you have bowel cancer"

 

:lol:

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A Mackem tramp walks into a posh jewellers, pulls his pants down and starts casually fingering his arse, shop assistant shouts 'get out you dirty bastard'.

 

Mackem says 'make your fucking mind up' and points to a sign in the window which reads 'come inside and pick your ring in comfort'

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A family are driving behind a dust cart when a Dildo flies out and bounces off their car windscreen. Embarrassed and to protect her young son's innocence the woman says 'that was a big insect mind' to which her son replies 'I'm suprised the fucka can fly with a cock like that'

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A Mackem tramp walks into a posh jewellers, pulls his pants down and starts casually fingering his arse, shop assistant shouts 'get out you dirty bastard'.

 

Mackem says 'make your fucking mind up' and points to a sign in the window which reads 'come inside and pick your ring in comfort'

 

:razz:

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  • 2 weeks later...

A man is licking out a prostitute when suddenly he gets a piece of carrot in his mouth. He spits it out and carries on, but then he gets a pea in his mouth. He spits it out and says to the hooker "You've got bits of veg in your pussy love, are you sick?" She says "No, but I think the last bloke was."

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A man is licking out a prostitute when suddenly he gets a piece of carrot in his mouth. He spits it out and carries on, but then he gets a pea in his mouth. He spits it out and says to the hooker "You've got bits of veg in your pussy love, are you sick?" She says "No, but I think the last bloke was."

 

 

:D

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