NYD 0 Posted August 8, 2012 Share Posted August 8, 2012 Moving swiftly on: not a joke more a turn of phrase someone recently said. And I quote "her cunt was as wet as a spakkas chin". Horrible, but funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest CabayeAye Posted August 8, 2012 Share Posted August 8, 2012 The wife came home with a pack of nappies and a bag of baby clothes."Is there something you want to tell me?" I asked."Yeah," she said, "Gary Barlow's having a car boot sale." You are a bad man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoveTheBobby 1 Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 Yorkshire dominating the olympics and we still have peter sutcliffe to come with the hammer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wolfy 12 Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 It's an excerpt from my debut erotic novel, 'Fifty shades of Broon'. I haven't finished it yet and would like a fair and balanced review from you lads if that's ok? Geordie is a successful businessman and gets interviewed by a lass from the Chronicle. Things get steamy as the intrigued reporter falls for Geordie's patter and good looks. ' I gently ran my hand down her jeans till my fingertips delved into her knickers. Her fanny was wetter than a spakkas chin and needless to say, I was like a babies arm holding an apple......' What do you's think so far? Sounds canny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wolfy 12 Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 (edited) 50 shades of gay. I took Rupert's advice and ventured into the bright inners of the Thai cunnycock lap dancing club and marvelled at the scantilly clad sirens sliding up and down long slender shiny poles. I was happy to tuck notes into their garter belts and sat there dreaming of taking one stunning flexible hunny back to my hotel. My prayers were answered when Robleen sauntered over to me and danced around me provocatively, then whispered into my ear that she loved big tough Englishmen with massive tiddles. We quickly went back to my hotel room and frantically fell onto the bed where she insisted on me taking her up the rear. We spend 4 hours exploring each others bodies until the realisation hit me as I tried to talk. I found myself choking and fighting for air for what seemed like 2 hours and 47 minutes. I swallowed what seemed like a liquid blend of Saxa table salt and mayonaisse. The lap dancer quickly jumped from the bed clutching my wallet and it was then that I went into shock after seeing her cock and balls swinging as she ran. What do you think of this so far. Edited August 10, 2012 by wolfy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meenzer 14031 Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 What do you think of this so far. I think we should sign Robleen, sounds like he could do a decent job at RB. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38733 Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 Moving swiftly on: not a joke more a turn of phrase someone recently said. And I quote "her cunt was as wet as a spakkas chin". Driving back from Leeds today , one of the many strands of intellectual badinage ended with one of the lads concluding that to get maximum enjoyment from fisting a midget, she must have a sponge on her head so you can use her to clean the ceiling afterwards. The miles flew by Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonasjuice 0 Posted August 13, 2012 Share Posted August 13, 2012 (edited) Reeeaaaaaaaally wasn't sure where to put this so mod as you wish (best of youtube, funny pics... belta minge?!?), and I'm guessing links are out of the question, but just google 'top 10 porn fails' and click the first link wailing with laughter at number 2!! Edit: as if it needs to be said, NSFW Edited August 13, 2012 by jonasjuice Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holden McGroin 4847 Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 I want to know what happens next. Most likely a hospital visit. Number 1 amused me as well. Gross. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyluke 1 Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 I've anaesthetised a woman so she could have a vibrator removed from her bottom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 26768 Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 Was she smart? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brock Manson 0 Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 I've anaesthetised a woman so she could have a vibrator removed from her bottom. She sounds like a keeper! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catmag 336 Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 I've anaesthetised a woman so she could have a vibrator removed from her bottom. We've had 3 incidents of such a thing in the last few weeks. All blokes though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JawD 31 Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 Surprising what can happen when you stumble in the bedroom and knock over your lasses bedside table Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonasjuice 0 Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 I've anaesthetised a woman so she could have a vibrator removed from her bottom. So this was for work, or... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38733 Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 We've had 3 incidents of such a thing in the last few weeks. All blokes though. Amateurs the lot. Always use electric, built in leash Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catmag 336 Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 Amateurs the lot. Always use electric, built in leash There speaketh the expert! One of them was a potato Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38733 Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 A potato had a dildo up its arse? This belongs in a Wolfy thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 8989 Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 So this was for work, or... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trophyshy 6433 Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 There speaketh the expert! One of them was a potato Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyluke 1 Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 So this was for work, or... Yeah it was at work, my girlfriend is quite willing so I don't have to resort to pharmaceutical persuasion.. ..anymore You can actually do some serious damage to yourself hoying things up there, I've heard of people perforating their bowel and ending up with a chunk of their colon removed and a colostomy bag. My mate anaesthetised one such unfortunate bloke who'd had an altercation with some sort of vegetable, he was in his seventies! If he's still getting up to that sort of kinky shit at that age then fair play to him tbh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 26768 Posted August 16, 2012 Share Posted August 16, 2012 Reminds me of an old joke. An effeminate acting man walks into a Greengrocers and asks for the biggest cucumber he has in the shop. "Certainly sir." Replies the Greengrocer. Away he goes in the back of his shop rummaging through his cucumber tray until he comes back with this green monster of a cucumber. The customers eyes light up! "Will this do, sir?", asks the Greengrocer, to which the customer nods his head. "Would sir like his cucumber sliced?" asked the Greengrocer. The customer haughtily replies, "Does my arse look like a fucking moneybox?!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38733 Posted August 25, 2012 Share Posted August 25, 2012 Saw the Team GB Paralympic Swimming team train at the City Pool yesterday. Bit rusty, some of them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christmas Tree 3997 Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 I see they have had to send one of the athletes home from the games already. He tested positive for legs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christmas Tree 3997 Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 I bet that deaf, dumb and blind kid is gutted that pinball isn't in the Paralympics. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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