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Pissing On The Floor?


Tooj
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Haha just remembered another one, we were round my mate's house before we went out and was well fucked already, and i went for a piss and me mate was already having one so i just turned round... lobbed it out and had one in his sink :lol:;):blush:

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I'm still trying to work out the "double stream"...do you put your finger over the end like when you whistle ???? ;)

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:lol:

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Has anyone mentioned when you have a stray pubic hair caught (unknowingly) right across your jap's eye ( a bit like the wire across the apple on Golden Shot - Golden shot is not a pun by the way :lol:  ;)  :blush: ) and when the flow starts you have a two-jetted stream?? It can go anywhere under these circumstances ;)

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A nightmare scenario. Like the end of ghostbusters you have to get the streams together, but if you've been waiting a while the ability to reallign is severely impeded by the need to get it out.

 

I had people back and someone shit in my bath. I think it was a dirty protest but don't know who to blame :blush:

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I went to Slane a couple of years ago to see U2 and my mate was dying for a piss but the toilets were a trek away so he thought it would be discreet to piss up against a fence, of course it was a wire fence packed with U2 fans on the other side who were so into the gig they didn't notice their jeans becoming ever more damp.

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There's a strange mulleted half bald bloke at work who "according to sources" grabs a wad of toilet roll and literally "buffs" his end after he has had a waz.... :lol:

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There's a strange mulleted half bald bloke at work who "according to sources" grabs a wad of toilet roll and literally "buffs" his end after he has had a waz.... :lol:

114416[/snapback]

Bill Bailey?
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There's a strange mulleted half bald bloke at work who "according to sources" grabs a wad of toilet roll and literally "buffs" his end after he has had a waz.... :lol:

114416[/snapback]

Bill Bailey?

114417[/snapback]

 

without the beard... ;)

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Went to a concert a Sheffield City Hall years back. At the end the toilets were absolutely packed and I couldn't wait any longer so I had a piss in the sink.

 

The bloke who was washing his hands was not pleased.  ;)

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I admit to having a wee in a sink once in the Lakes when I was camping and we had been on the lash all day :blush:

In my defence tho there was only one other toilet usable and my mate was utilising that and I was about to have a serious accident......I cleaned it out afterwards... :lol:

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Went to a concert a Sheffield City Hall years back. At the end the toilets were absolutely packed and I couldn't wait any longer so I had a piss in the sink.

 

The bloke who was washing his hands was not pleased.  ;)

114420[/snapback]

You didn't get a toilet attend come over did ya tryna wash it and put aftershave on it?

:lol:

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One of my mates had a bottle of some cheap shit wine. Lambrella or something, so this other lad decides to tip it all out and piss in it, without him knowing.

 

He drank half of it, didn't even realise, he wasn't even drunk either. Said it tasted nice, but was warm, thought we were joking when we told him, was about 3 years ago this like, and the lad still drinks lambrella to this day. What a legend.

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Sometimes the foreskin is pointing one way without your realising it and suddenly you're pissing in the bog brush holder  :lol:

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Dude, you sound in severe need of a circumcision ! have you got a foreskin like a shirtsleeve or something ?

 

Personally, mine is a finely tuned instrument that has the aim of a Russian sniper.

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Sometimes the foreskin is pointing one way without your realising it and suddenly you're pissing in the bog brush holder  ;)

114286[/snapback]

 

 

Dude, you sound in severe need of a circumcision ! have you got a foreskin like a shirtsleeve or something ?

 

Personally, mine is a finely tuned instrument that has the aim of a Russian sniper.

114481[/snapback]

 

:lol:

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Sometimes the foreskin is pointing one way without your realising it and suddenly you're pissing in the bog brush holder  :lol:

114286[/snapback]

 

 

Dude, you sound in severe need of a circumcision ! have you got a foreskin like a shirtsleeve or something ?

 

Personally, mine is a finely tuned instrument that has the aim of a Russian sniper.

114481[/snapback]

 

I was phrasing the predicament in such a way so as not to offend ;)

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well the same thread didnt really go down as well over on N-O like!

 

http://www.newcastle-online.com/nufcforum/...ic,17814.0.html

 

this forums too high brow and perpetual tbh. snobbish actually.

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Tried over there but no luck :lol:, mainly probably as we didn't have Gemmill looking down from his Ivory Tower on us all
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Sometimes the foreskin is pointing one way without your realising it and suddenly you're pissing in the bog brush holder  :lol:

114286[/snapback]

 

 

Dude, you sound in severe need of a circumcision ! have you got a foreskin like a shirtsleeve or something ?

 

Personally, mine is a finely tuned instrument that has the aim of a Russian sniper.

114481[/snapback]

Wizard's sleeve tbh.

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The only time I ever sit down to take a piss is when I'm that wrecked I'm convinced my aim is gonna be shite.

 

That being said, from time to time I have pissed on the seat and the floor but bog roll is there for a reason man, fucking wipe it up and don't be a skanky bastard.

 

When I was living in a student house my housemates were a fucking nightmare, if it wasn't the floor that was being pissed on it was the rim itself and no fucker except me would clean it - you had congealed urine festering on the porcelain! ;)

 

What was worse was one bloke who was moulting in his nether regions and you always knew when you'd followed him into the bog as his 'pube army' was marching around the rim!

 

They also couldn't understand why I chucked the bog brush out 4 times in that year - 1. they cost less than £2 from Tesco, 2. they'd turned fucking browny yellow with all the shit and piss that they'd left in there.

 

There's nowt gay about keeping a bog and the surrounding area clean - it's hygiene man!

 

Oh and Brock, I dunno what weird sort of shit you've been up to with your knob kidda, but I'd be getting myself booked in for a circumcision if I was you....that's not normal! :lol:

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When I was living in a student house my housemates were a fucking nightmare, if it wasn't the floor that was being pissed on it was the rim itself and no fucker except me would clean it - you had congealed urine festering on the porcelain! :lol:

 

What was worse was one bloke who was moulting in his nether regions and you always knew when you'd followed him into the bog as his 'pube army' was marching around the rim!

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We had a fat bastard sharing our house in first year. He used to rub one of those Sure Stick deodorants up his sweaty arse-crack.

 

Used to leave a white stripe up the back of the toilet seat when he'd had a sit down brown. ;)

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Talking about 'sit down browns' I dunno what angle one of the blokes in our house used to sit at but he managed to 'pepper' (quite literally) his shit right up underneath the rim - so much so it was welded to the porcelain!

 

Someone fucking explain how that is gravitationally possible cos I'm fucked if I know!

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