Jump to content

General Random Conversation..


Scottish Mag
 Share

Recommended Posts

It's a pity you couldn't have had those fish things in your ears a la 'hitchhikers guide to the galaxy'.

 

Mr Patel: "sham dam diddley tak tak .......(Gemmill puts fish in ear)......Howay Indira, this honkeys taken the piss with his asking price, lad's got some neck on him, what with his cock of Chinese proportions and his obsession with us looking at his roomba as part of the house. I'll get wor Jamill to come round and offer fifteen grand under, then I'll phone the daft cunt up and offer him eight grand under. Up there for thinking, doon there for dancing, pet......(Gemmill takes fish out of ear in horror)......sham dam gura woola."

Edited by Howmanheyman
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Did your illness come out of a barrel/bottle yesterday by any chance?..

No, although funnily enough I was out last night. There's strict hygiene rules at my place and I'm leaking bodily fluid out of one my orifices. As Rolf used to say, 'have you guessed what it is yet?' :lol:
Link to comment
Share on other sites

No, although funnily enough I was out last night. There's strict hygiene rules at my place and I'm leaking bodily fluid out of one my orifices. As Rolf used to say, 'have you guessed what it is yet?' :lol:

:lol: are you telling me Rolf has seen this orifice too? :o

Link to comment
Share on other sites

An old wifie goes into the doctors complaining about some discharge she's having. Doctor says no bother, he puts on some rubber gloves and puts some fingers in her......(is Cath around?).......err, 'honeypot' ;).....and asks her how does it feel? The old dear says it feels wonderful but the discharge is in her ear.

 

 

I've an ear infection. ;)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

To celebrate the start of panto season:

 

"Do we believe him, boys and girls??"

 

You do know what he does for a living, don't you? You don't want him in there with any kind of infection! :lol:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Honestly, some people are so rude. I had a few Indian couples round that both spoke perfectly good English, but would turn to one another and start talking in Indian while I was showing them round. You feel like you're making up the numbers in your own house. I felt like just throwing them out.

 

That's horrendously rude! There's a unspoken respect between our Indian/Pakistani/Filipino staff at work in that if they are having a conversation in their own language and an English speaker walks in, they immediately continue in English. They'll even do it if they're on their own having a phone conversation in the coffee room and I walk in. In their view it's just good manners and respectful. I'd have kicked the fuckers out of the door.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I take it no one plans to ever purchase a property abroad then? How many brits do you reckon are knocking about the Costa del sol conversing in fluent Spanish whilst dropping the pension pot on a 2 bed??

 

At work I can just about understand but am glad I'm not held to that standard.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I take it no one plans to ever purchase a property abroad then? How many brits do you reckon are knocking about the Costa del sol conversing in fluent Spanish whilst dropping the pension pot on a 2 bed??

 

At work I can just about understand but am glad I'm not held to that standard.

Well there was a rather quaint little château down Avignon I had my eye on but you've put me right off, now. I'd be scared to even have a single thought in English let alone a conversation.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

What was the paper on? And kudos, well done.

Cheers everyone. The reason I'm bemused is because this is possibly the dullest paper I have ever written in a very niche area of research. To win paper of the year is peculiar, particularly as it had previously been rejected from another journal. However, it did report some novel methodology on the interrogation of routine medical data and has already been cited several times, so obviously is of some interest to someone. From a personal point of view, it involved me reading several thousand anonymised medical records, was quite soul destroying iirc.

 

Can't give you a link CT as I like to preserve my anonymity. Doubt you'd get past the first paragraph though! :D

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.