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Scottish Mag
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2 minutes ago, adios said:

Slid right out, Shirley.

:D

As it happens, he’s doubly wrong, as I came out the sunroof. 

I guess if you’re reduced to mating with the bushpigs Dicky is you’d find a queef nasty, but I’ve always appreciated their comedy value, tbh. 

 

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So, had decorators at the new gaf all last week, painting all rooms downstairs and the hall, stairs and upstairs landing. 

Me and Mrs.F agreed on the colour scheme in advance, which was this throughout. 

Simple, smart etc. 

Until the morning the decorators arrived to start. 

As I’m letting them in, going over the job, phone call from Dear Mrs.F. 

She’s changed her mind and wants a different colour in the main sitting room. 

“No problem” says I through gritted teeth, tell the lads, they laugh, but no worries, problem solved and everyone’s happy. 

Three days later, they finish, pack up and send the invoice. 

Mrs.F, loves the grey scheme, really loves it. 

Goes in to the sitting room, who’s colour she changed at the last minute. 

You know what’s coming. 

Mrs. F…

25dbee1f0248e8558af56f26a77f6182b65bc4ac

 

Me…

UF1vQAB.gif

 

Un… fucking… real. 

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1 minute ago, Christmas Tree said:

Is that your house? Is that your STAINED GLASS WINDOW :lol:

It's only funny if you design it yourself iirc

 

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15 hours ago, Monkeys Fist said:

So, had decorators at the new gaf all last week, painting all rooms downstairs and the hall, stairs and upstairs landing. 

Me and Mrs.F agreed on the colour scheme in advance, which was this throughout. 

Simple, smart etc....

We're doing bits and pieces in the new house to put our own stamp on it after moving in. Mrs Fish goes off to visit her sister and I paint the 2nd bedroom the specific shade/tone/colour of white she's picked out and tested. 

Now, I'm painting over a really subtle orange colour. Maybe Spanish Cream or Spanish Cream Half on the Dulux chart https://www.dulux.com.au/colour/all-colours.

I use one of those One coat tins and do the lot while she's out. First time I've ever painted a room and I have to admit I think I've done a pretty good job.

"It still doesn't look white", so rather than argue I do another coat.

"This wall still doesn't look white, are you sure you've used enough paint?" I begin doing a 3rd coat then realise the reason there's still one wall which looks like it might have a slight orange hue, is because the sun is reflecting through the window off the neighbours fucking red brick wall. Close the blinds and voylah, it's as white as a Jim Davidson audience. 

Then, over dinner, "Do you think the white is too cold for that bedroom?"

a54.gif

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On 14/05/2018 at 16:49, Monkeys Fist said:

So, had decorators at the new gaf all last week, painting all rooms downstairs and the hall, stairs and upstairs landing. 

Me and Mrs.F agreed on the colour scheme in advance, which was this throughout. 

Simple, smart etc. 

Until the morning the decorators arrived to start. 

As I’m letting them in, going over the job, phone call from Dear Mrs.F. 

She’s changed her mind and wants a different colour in the main sitting room. 

“No problem” says I through gritted teeth, tell the lads, they laugh, but no worries, problem solved and everyone’s happy. 

Three days later, they finish, pack up and send the invoice. 

Mrs.F, loves the grey scheme, really loves it. 

Goes in to the sitting room, who’s colour she changed at the last minute. 

You know what’s coming. 

Mrs. F…

25dbee1f0248e8558af56f26a77f6182b65bc4ac

 

Me…

UF1vQAB.gif

 

Un… fucking… real. 

A woman's prerogative or something? :lol:

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On 04/05/2018 at 15:46, Monkeys Fist said:

Kilauea: Hawaii emergency declared over volcano eruption http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-44001651

 

Posted this simply to appreciate the outrageously daft name of the Civil Defence Administrator…  telegram for Talmadge Mango, telegram for Talmadge Mango. :D

Once again, explosions involving US citizens called Talmadge. :panic:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-44149281

Don’t call your kids Talmadge,folks. 

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On 5/17/2018 at 03:27, Monkeys Fist said:

:D

Definitely something. 

The top one was her first choice, pre-“ I don’t like it”. 

Bottom one is what I’ve spent Mon-Wed refuckingpainting! 

 

tbf she's right, bottom one is better.

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