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Great news @Renton 

 

Obviously I know very little about you personally, but joining a gym, couch to 5k or even a spell with a personal trainer would be a great way to start turning things around. 
 

Not only will it get you fit, but the things I can’t remember the name of, that get released and make you FEEL great, would only help with mental issues.

 

I really hope this can be a turning point for you. Good luck.

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3 minutes ago, Christmas Tree said:

Not only will it get you fit, but the things I can’t remember the name of, that get released and make you FEEL great, would only help with mental issues.

 

Dolphins, I think

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1 hour ago, Renton said:

An update. I feel so fortunate. Back at home with the family, had a very long and frank discussion with Mrs Rents. She'll continue supporting me as long as I don't drink, which is obviously fair enough. It's a week now since my last alcoholic drink, and believe me that is my last. The acomprosate helps a lot, it has entirely stopped any desire for drink at all, bit of a miracle drug tbh.

 

Strange as it seems, I think my recent alcoholism is a symptom not a cause of my problems. But regardless, it clearly will fuck my life anyway. Abrupt cessation of my antidepressants was the most stupid thing I have ever done and I think precipitated this crash. I need treatment for my anxiety and depression, especially the former. I will see the GP next week to discuss options. Other than that I have a one to one meeting with an alcohol recovery specialist next week, see how that goes.

 

Work have been amazing. As well as giving me this week off to recover, they have offered part time working and even a sabbatical if I need it. I will repay them with full commitment from now on.

 

Best of all is I'm going on holiday to Mallorca in 2 weeks. Drinking is always part of the holiday for me and I always feel ill for at least 1 day. I am literally looking forward to the liberation of not drinking at all this time, no hangovers, more energy for the kids and wife. I know it will be hard but with the acomprosate I'll get through. Can't wait to swim in the Med.

 

Also my uncle is coming down from Scotland to talk with me today. We are like peas in a pod, same genetics definitely. He had to stop drinking around my age for the exact same reasons. He's been alcohol free for more than a decade now, hasn't stopped him enjoying life. Going to gratefully receive any wisdom he can impart.

 

Onwards and upwards from now. I need some hobbies so might ask CT for advice there. ;) key priority though when I get back from hols is to get fit. I'm starting from a good place ironically because the hospital did every check imaginable on all my organ systems and wouldn't discharge me until they were satisfied I was fully physically fit. So I got a free MOT courtesy of the NHS. Once again, thanks everybody here for your support, helped me through the darkest period of my life.

Well in Rents! This is great news mate.

 

"Strange as it seems, I think my recent alcoholism is a symptom not a cause of my problems." Don't think it's strange what so ever. Makes total sense to me. My particular brand of Anxiety & Depression means I instinctively reach for short term highs regardless of the consequence. At Uni it was drugs, alcohol but at first it was food (Gemmil can attest to that). I had my stomach pumped a couple of times, lost a job, lost a couple of friends, and all because I hadn't understood that I was escaping into all that because I have anxiety and depression.

 

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4 hours ago, Gemmill said:

This Salman Rushdie news is a bit radge. 

 

Fucking hell, first I'd heard. Hope he pulls through. Guessing the obvious question will be whether a Muslim or Christian extremist is responsible (gambler in me would assume the former) but regardless we need less religious extremism and more voices like Rushdie's.

 

 

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On 10/08/2022 at 16:25, Gemmill said:

 

I mean the article references VLOOKUP. Only a fucking fool is using VLOOKUP in 2022 when XLOOKUP exists, so I can write this clown off immediately. 



 

 


 

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13 hours ago, Renton said:

An update. I feel so fortunate. Back at home with the family, had a very long and frank discussion with Mrs Rents. She'll continue supporting me as long as I don't drink, which is obviously fair enough. It's a week now since my last alcoholic drink, and believe me that is my last. The acomprosate helps a lot, it has entirely stopped any desire for drink at all, bit of a miracle drug tbh.

 

Strange as it seems, I think my recent alcoholism is a symptom not a cause of my problems. But regardless, it clearly will fuck my life anyway. Abrupt cessation of my antidepressants was the most stupid thing I have ever done and I think precipitated this crash. I need treatment for my anxiety and depression, especially the former. I will see the GP next week to discuss options. Other than that I have a one to one meeting with an alcohol recovery specialist next week, see how that goes.

 

Work have been amazing. As well as giving me this week off to recover, they have offered part time working and even a sabbatical if I need it. I will repay them with full commitment from now on.

 

Best of all is I'm going on holiday to Mallorca in 2 weeks. Drinking is always part of the holiday for me and I always feel ill for at least 1 day. I am literally looking forward to the liberation of not drinking at all this time, no hangovers, more energy for the kids and wife. I know it will be hard but with the acomprosate I'll get through. Can't wait to swim in the Med.

 

Also my uncle is coming down from Scotland to talk with me today. We are like peas in a pod, same genetics definitely. He had to stop drinking around my age for the exact same reasons. He's been alcohol free for more than a decade now, hasn't stopped him enjoying life. Going to gratefully receive any wisdom he can impart.

 

Onwards and upwards from now. I need some hobbies so might ask CT for advice there. ;) key priority though when I get back from hols is to get fit. I'm starting from a good place ironically because the hospital did every check imaginable on all my organ systems and wouldn't discharge me until they were satisfied I was fully physically fit. So I got a free MOT courtesy of the NHS. Once again, thanks everybody here for your support, helped me through the darkest period of my life.

Please don't rely on CT for any sensible advice 😉 

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The fucking Ronny Gill here trying to be clever cunts and giving gammons the impression that anyone snoring could be raking in disability payments. No wonder you get stupid bastards thinking people with 'nowt wrong with them get flashy cars for nowt'. 

 

https://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/news/cost-of-living/dwp-pip-benefit-people-snore-24756718

 

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@Renton - I’m late in reading about your awful situation but a few things stand out for me. Firstly, I’m really proud of you and I know the others on here feel the same. Even in the midst of such a crisis you had the insight to know you had to ask for help and the courage to reach out for it by calling 999. There are many others that wouldn’t do that and haven’t. Secondly, amidst that crisis you were still considering how your family and friends would react to your situation and you were fearful of their reaction. The fact that they were even a consideration shows that you care so much about being the man they want you to be, and that you want to be yourself. This will be what gets you through this. After everything you’ve been through in the last few years it breaks my heart that you found yourself in such a dark place but my god, I know you’ve got what it takes to get through it. Much love and admiration to you x

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Rents dude. As I rarely pop in general now I didn't see what you've beeb battling. 

 

Stick in there mate,  you've battled hard for the last few years and you've battled hard last few days. 

 

A new sober life is ahead of you. Your wife and kids will love it. Enjoy the holiday and the love dude.  You'll do it. 

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14 minutes ago, Meenzer said:

A fine thread (I'd apologise for the tonal shift but I'm not even sorry)

 

 

Ahhh, the British public.

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14 hours ago, catmag said:

@Renton - I’m late in reading about your awful situation but a few things stand out for me. Firstly, I’m really proud of you and I know the others on here feel the same. Even in the midst of such a crisis you had the insight to know you had to ask for help and the courage to reach out for it by calling 999. There are many others that wouldn’t do that and haven’t. Secondly, amidst that crisis you were still considering how your family and friends would react to your situation and you were fearful of their reaction. The fact that they were even a consideration shows that you care so much about being the man they want you to be, and that you want to be yourself. This will be what gets you through this. After everything you’ve been through in the last few years it breaks my heart that you found yourself in such a dark place but my god, I know you’ve got what it takes to get through it. Much love and admiration to you x

 

Cath, I don't mind admitting I cried a bit when I read this last night, it meant such a lot. I'm not sure I can agree with your assessment with me though other than I am trying desperately now to be a better man for my family, you're right on that. But I had to hit sobriety before that kicked in. When I was on my binge nothing mattered but alcohol. It feels like a bad dream now, in fact a nightmare. 

 

So an update since I last posted. I am back at home, back at work (from home), trying to normalise/steady my life to first regain what I've lost. It's going well, although I feel mentallly exhausted after a few hours work. But slowly getting back to normal physically and mentally. I recognise I still have major problems with the latter, I am suffering prettty bad anxiety attacks and bouts of depression. It's so hard to describe, like my brain just isn't working right. Mental fog, self doubt, hard to control emotions. Was in floods of tears watching Better Call Saul last night ffs! I know this needs to be adressed quite urgently but this is where the NHS can let us down, great in a crisis but trying to get a GP appointment with someone I trust is something else. I have some BUPA coverage and may use that instead. 

 

As for alcohol, whether it's self disgust or just the drug I am taking doing its job, I have no craving for alcohol at all. I don't even think about it unless I am reflecting on my experiences of the last 2 or 3 weeks. I am as near certain as I can be that I will never touch another drop, but I am not complacent. I still recognise the potential for relapse and the enormous damage that would do. I have taken @Meenzer's advice though and am turning it into a positive. I will miss the buzz of drinking, but so what compared to everything else I gain, most importantly my sanity? It's such a small sacrifice in the scheme of things, just wish I had done it years ago (or certainly 3 weeks ago!). 

 

Once again, thank you all for your kind words. I am recoverig and will be back to normal soon enough, spamming the politics thread where I belong. There's a lot wrong with this country, to say the least. 

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19 minutes ago, Renton said:

It's so hard to describe, like my brain just isn't working right. Mental fog, self doubt, hard to control emotions.

Pretty good description that to be honest. 

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