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Scottish Mag

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Toonpack

Toonpack 6846

Posted
Posted
3 hours ago, RobinRobin said:

How would I know?  I think we have decided that I don't live in Suffolk :tongue:

 

I thought it was you and some of your relatives on some sort of quest in the flatlands of turnip 

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Renton
Renton

An update. I feel so fortunate. Back at home with the family, had a very long and frank discussion with Mrs Rents. She'll continue supporting me as long as I don't drink, which is obviously fair enoug

Alex
Alex

Had a couple a nights away in Keswick, got back yesterday morning. As is often the case I usually wake up at daft o’clock when I’m not at home in my own bed. Preoccupied with thoughts of today’s match

trophyshy
trophyshy

Last night I was sitting in the lounge minding my own business after the kids were put to bed.  I had the big light on.  Wor lass walked into the room and turned the big light off, fuck knows why.   S

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wykikitoon

wykikitoon 16612

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Went to see my in-laws today and the wife's aunt was there.  She's almost 80.  For some reason she got onto the subject of the couple who's bairn either died or was missing recently.  Both were put into prison or are waiting trial.  She was saying how they were born evil and should be hung.  I tried saying they weren't born evil as IMO nobody is.  She kept saying how cannabis is to blame and how bad it is.   I tried to say that maybe they took drugs as they had mental health problems and due to Tories shutting down mental health clinics they cant get help.

 

Meanwhile the Grand National Build up is on, so I tried focusing on that as I wasn't getting anywhere.  I pointed out the massive crowd and asked how many of them will end up in hospital tonight because of pissed up issues, or in a police cell etc totally ignored.  Then the protests started and she cheered saying that horse racing is cruel and they should stop it :lol: 

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Toonpack

Toonpack 6846

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11 hours ago, Monkeys Fist said:

Arguing with an 80yr old woman is like hitting yourself in the dumbartons with a mallet whilst trying to sing baselines. 
 

 

 

Wayne Rooney adopted a completely different approach.

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trophyshy

trophyshy 6434

Posted
Posted
14 hours ago, Monkeys Fist said:

Arguing with an 80yr old woman is like hitting yourself in the dumbartons with a mallet whilst trying to sing baselines. 
 

 


The voice of experience. 

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Toonpack

Toonpack 6846

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So, tomorrow, going under the knife, having two “warthins tumours” removed (benign non dangerous) but one is an egg under my jaw and uncomfortable, so they gotta go.

 

I will be sliced on the side of my face from top of ear down my neck so I shall expect, on my reappearance, to be known as Von Toonpack.

 

Any links to purveyors of monocles would be appreciated.

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Toonpack

Toonpack 6846

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41 minutes ago, Gemmill said:

Good luck mate. Have they said anything about whether this will help you to understand statistics any better? 

 

 


It won’t it’s not a sense of humour bypass

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Dr Gloom

Dr Gloom 19813

Posted
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1 hour ago, Toonpack said:

So, tomorrow, going under the knife, having two “warthins tumours” removed (benign non dangerous) but one is an egg under my jaw and uncomfortable, so they gotta go.

 

I will be sliced on the side of my face from top of ear down my neck so I shall expect, on my reappearance, to be known as Von Toonpack.

 

Any links to purveyors of monocles would be appreciated.

 

Holy shit! Good luck mate!!!

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Howmanheyman

Howmanheyman 26775

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, Toonpack said:

So, tomorrow, going under the knife, having two “warthins tumours” removed (benign non dangerous) but one is an egg under my jaw and uncomfortable, so they gotta go.

 

I will be sliced on the side of my face from top of ear down my neck so I shall expect, on my reappearance, to be known as Von Toonpack.

 

Any links to purveyors of monocles would be appreciated.

 

Hope it goes as well as possible, TP. :good:

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wykikitoon

wykikitoon 16612

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There's a stretch of road near me that I use a lot when cycling.  It's got a steady gradient of around 3%.  Going down it is fine. but I have stopped cycling up it as it's basically a race track.  The speed limit is 50mph which for the area is bonkers and lots of people have tried to have it reduced.  Next to the road is a forest park that a load of people walk on.  Over the last 5 years part of the pavement along this stretch of road has started to be used by cars to park on.  Totally blocking the pavement.  Utter cunts.


Anyways, Sunday I am out with the lads for a ride.  We are heading down this road and the I noticed a load of cars are parked, I then look and see a van flying up beeping.  Wondering what they're beeping at I see an old bloke in a mobility scooter having to go on the road as these utter selfish cunts have blocked the pavement.  Anyways.  a couple of us peel off and help the old lad navigate round.

 

Yesterday I tried phoning the local plod to see if they can have more patrols on a weekend there.  I couldn't get through so dropped an email.  Got a response this morning and it's positive, they agree it's not acceptable and then it finishes with 'Our patrols regularly use this stretch of road'  Oh so why has fuck all been done then?  Oh probably because this cuntish selfish behaviour now is normalised! 

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Dr Gloom

Dr Gloom 19813

Posted
Posted
13 minutes ago, wykikitoon said:

There's a stretch of road near me that I use a lot when cycling.  It's got a steady gradient of around 3%.  Going down it is fine. but I have stopped cycling up it as it's basically a race track.  The speed limit is 50mph which for the area is bonkers and lots of people have tried to have it reduced.  Next to the road is a forest park that a load of people walk on.  Over the last 5 years part of the pavement along this stretch of road has started to be used by cars to park on.  Totally blocking the pavement.  Utter cunts.


Anyways, Sunday I am out with the lads for a ride.  We are heading down this road and the I noticed a load of cars are parked, I then look and see a van flying up beeping.  Wondering what they're beeping at I see an old bloke in a mobility scooter having to go on the road as these utter selfish cunts have blocked the pavement.  Anyways.  a couple of us peel off and help the old lad navigate round.

 

Yesterday I tried phoning the local plod to see if they can have more patrols on a weekend there.  I couldn't get through so dropped an email.  Got a response this morning and it's positive, they agree it's not acceptable and then it finishes with 'Our patrols regularly use this stretch of road'  Oh so why has fuck all been done then?  Oh probably because this cuntish selfish behaviour now is normalised! 

 

Angry He Man GIF

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Meenzer

Meenzer 14031

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Mind, he's right, a lot of car drivers have become even more entitled than they've always been. It doesn't help that everyone* these days drives ridiculous wankpanzers that aren't designed to fit on our bijou little roads.

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wykikitoon

wykikitoon 16612

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We're told to do our bit for the environment blah blah and there's no fucking safe means to do so.  It's all fucking lip service.  Meanwhile European countries run by adults things happen.

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Monkeys Fist

Monkeys Fist 38739

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People mistake the speed limits as an instruction to drive at that speed, as opposed to a maximum that you should be doing. 

 

Road conditions, weather, visibility, other road users are all variables that should reduce that speed … if you’re not a wankpanzer kommandant. :lol:

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Renton

Renton 17745

Posted
Posted (edited)
42 minutes ago, wykikitoon said:

There's a stretch of road near me that I use a lot when cycling.  It's got a steady gradient of around 3%.  Going down it is fine. but I have stopped cycling up it as it's basically a race track.  The speed limit is 50mph which for the area is bonkers and lots of people have tried to have it reduced.  Next to the road is a forest park that a load of people walk on.  Over the last 5 years part of the pavement along this stretch of road has started to be used by cars to park on.  Totally blocking the pavement.  Utter cunts.


Anyways, Sunday I am out with the lads for a ride.  We are heading down this road and the I noticed a load of cars are parked, I then look and see a van flying up beeping.  Wondering what they're beeping at I see an old bloke in a mobility scooter having to go on the road as these utter selfish cunts have blocked the pavement.  Anyways.  a couple of us peel off and help the old lad navigate round.

 

Yesterday I tried phoning the local plod to see if they can have more patrols on a weekend there.  I couldn't get through so dropped an email.  Got a response this morning and it's positive, they agree it's not acceptable and then it finishes with 'Our patrols regularly use this stretch of road'  Oh so why has fuck all been done then?  Oh probably because this cuntish selfish behaviour now is normalised! 

 

100% can sympathise here. Everything has turned to shit since the pandemic. I don't know if it's just people "staycationing" more or what, but the congestion around mine with cars parked everyfuckingwhere drives me nuts. Cut backs to the plod probably don't help.

 

We also get boyracers up the coast. A few years ago a lad from my kid's schools was ran over by one of them and killed on a zebra crossing. They still do it, although its not as bad as it was. I can't tell you how much I hate these cunts. Edit: just checked and he was actually run over on the pavement. Just turned 18 years old, life gone. The drivers involved got 11 years. Hates probably the wrong emotion, just sad that it was allowed to happen and could happen again. 

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wykikitoon

wykikitoon 16612

Posted
Posted
37 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said:

People mistake the speed limits as an instruction to drive at that speed, as opposed to a maximum that you should be doing. 

 

Road conditions, weather, visibility, other road users are all variables that should reduce that speed … if you’re not a wankpanzer kommandant. :lol:

 

I was cycling home from work last week.  Its an A road between Harrogate and Leeds.  I cycle on it loads, it's wide and I very rarely have any issues on it.  On that particular day it was forecast to be light rain on my ride home.  Not an issue, I can cope with that.  However it was quite heavy at times.  Did anyone adjust their speed accordingly?  Did they fuck.  Spray everywhere and of course that puts me at risk.  But hey, who cares, get the road tax dodging cunt off the road eh? 

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