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1 minute ago, Renton said:

 

Thanks. Clearly I need to quit completely. Mrs Rents is throwing me out, understandibly. Also fucked up at work. I am in despair. I'm a fucking idiot. 

That's really rough mate, but even by just realising you have to stop shows you're not an idiot.

 

Maybe take a break from work for a bit, take a bit of time to find whatever works to take genuine care of yourself?

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7 minutes ago, Gemmill said:

 

Hate the disease, not yourself. You've had a stumble, that's all. 

 

I think the realisation that you can't drink just a little bit is probably right. But this stumble was the only way for you to learn that. Now you know, and you're better armed for it not to happen again.

 

Good luck and stick around on here so we know you're alright. 

 

Well, I managed to give up for the blerst part of a year recently. Wasn't too hard, but clearly I have no off button. I just want to be normal. Not gonna happen though I guess. 

 

This withdrawal is fucking brutal mind. Thanks for all your kind words. Going to go to my mums now. Don't want the kids see me like this. 

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9 minutes ago, Renton said:

I just want to be normal. Not gonna happen though I guess.

 

There's a normal waiting for you, it's just not the same normal you thought you once had.

 

I promise you can find an even keel again, and setbacks like this do happen along the way (I've had mine too). You can't just deprogram your behaviour overnight, and sometimes it's specifically when you think you're doing well that it suddenly hits you out of nowhere. I'm not saying it's complacency (though it was for me) but you get what I mean - there's not always a rhyme or reason to this stuff.

 

I can't remember if I said it last time or not but I found SMART Recovery really helpful. None of that "admitted I was helpless and surrendered myself to a higher power" stuff you get with AA, but rational, evidence-based, analytical approaches to working out your triggers and behaviours and things you might not realise about yourself. Pop your postcode in here and get yourself along to something in person (or online if you prefer): https://smartrecovery.org.uk/about-smart-recovery-meetings/

 

Start talking about it and keep digging, it feels egotistical and a bit weird but there'll be things you figure out about yourself that'll help you.

 

And whether you go down that route or just keep sharing on here and figuring it out yourself, best of luck, you know we're all thinking of you and hoping for only the best.

 

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Sorry to hear this Renton but don’t blame yourself & use your incredible work as a reference point! 
 

It’s very easy to relapse and very hard to quit but you’ll 100% be able to get back to where you were & use the negative experience to help you navigate going forward.

 

I’m using an app at the moment called “I am Sober” and it tracks the days, money saved, calories saved etc - so once you see a data breakdown it can be really helpful.

 

Though I was able to have decent breaks I wasn’t drinking responsibly & it was negatively affecting those around me and there was no worse feeling than discovering you ruined someones night because they were worried about you getting wrecked before you’ve even poured a drink. I used music as something to focus on and put my energy into and im 13 months now. I know lots of lads on the same path who’ve relapsed too, its easy to do especially if you’ve been dipping in and out of it.

 

Previously I’d got to a month or so before deciding to have a blast at the drink but it wasn’t worth it.
 

You just have to start again.

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2 hours ago, Renton said:

So this is interesting. I'm going through another period of alcoholism. Don't no why. Drank the house dry. Now got the worst withdrawals ever. I am such a shit. This is hell in Earth. Hope I make it through. 

Guess I can't drink after all. Sorry for all the people I have hurt. Going to quit, again. 

I'm sad to read this. 

Don't be too hard on yourself Renton, we all make mistakes.  You've just made a mistake that's all. 

 The fact that you've admitted your mistake and want to quit again is a good sign, it shows that deep down you want to stop and get your life back on track.   You say you are in hell at the moment but when you are in hell just keep walking, take it one day at a time, things will soon start to look better as each day goes by. 

 The people you've hurt will forgive you in time I'm sure of it.   Think positive thoughts and  have a plan to make it up to the people you have hurt, you'll automatically feel better if you imagine in your mind how  you will make it up to them.  In time what you are going through now will help make you stronger in the future and you will get through this.

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This business down south where this mad cunt has killed a mother and two daughters, and is now on the run. The daughters are 25 and 28, and wanker boy is 26 so I'm assuming he was maybe the partner of one of the lasses. 

 

They were the family of some racing dude from the BBC apparently. Poor bloke. 

 

The number of women killed by absolute bellend blokes in this country. 

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1 hour ago, Renton said:

 

Well, I managed to give up for the blerst part of a year recently. Wasn't too hard, but clearly I have no off button. I just want to be normal. Not gonna happen though I guess. 

 

This withdrawal is fucking brutal mind. Thanks for all your kind words. Going to go to my mums now. Don't want the kids see me like this. 

1 day at a time bud, one step at a time, you have admitted the problem which is the biggest step so you’re on your way. Careers change and new opportunities open so let go of the despair. This is hard because despair is strong and it likes a host, let hope of a future help. Remember hope defeats despair and not just the squid variety.❤️❤️❤️

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6 minutes ago, Gemmill said:

This business down south where this mad cunt has killed a mother and two daughters, and is now on the run. The daughters are 25 and 28, and wanker boy is 26 so I'm assuming he was maybe the partner of one of the lasses. 

 

They were the family of some racing dude from the BBC apparently. Poor bloke. 

 

The number of women killed by absolute bellend blokes in this country. 

Yeah, he was always on sky sports racing, the presenter on the show today nearly broke down as he was talking about it live on sky sports racing just now.

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14 minutes ago, Gemmill said:

This business down south where this mad cunt has killed a mother and two daughters, and is now on the run. The daughters are 25 and 28, and wanker boy is 26 so I'm assuming he was maybe the partner of one of the lasses. 

 

They were the family of some racing dude from the BBC apparently. Poor bloke. 

 

The number of women killed by absolute bellend blokes in this country. 


It's just round the corner from where I used to live so there's some chatter going on with people I know who still live there. The suggestion is it's the ex-boyfriend of the younger daughter and he's tied them up and killed them with a crossbow. 

Fucking horrendous. As you say the poor bloke has gone from having a loving wife and daughters to fuck all because of some mad cunt angry with the world.

Not the first time a crossbow has been used in recent years. How are these things still unlicenced weapons that anyone can seemingly get hold of?!

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2 hours ago, Renton said:

So this is interesting. I'm going through another period of alcoholism. Don't no why. Drank the house dry. Now got the worst withdrawals ever. I am such a shit. This is hell in Earth. Hope I make it through. 

Guess I can't drink after all. Sorry for all the people I have hurt. Going to quit, again. 

 

Sorry to hear this mate. I echo what the others have said but beyond that sincerely hope you manage to settle things down over the next few days.

 

You're much loved man. You'll make it to the other side.

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3 hours ago, Renton said:

So this is interesting. I'm going through another period of alcoholism. Don't no why. Drank the house dry. Now got the worst withdrawals ever. I am such a shit. This is hell in Earth. Hope I make it through. 

Guess I can't drink after all. Sorry for all the people I have hurt. Going to quit, again. 

Good luck man

 Easy said but don't hate yourself and take it hour by hour, day by day. You've faced the problem and as others have said it's a setback, but your still on the journey

 

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@Renton Saw your post earlier just as I was going back from my break. Nothing much more I can add to what everybody else has, the drink you'll sort out in the long run, (you've already made great strides),  I just hope your family see you fighting this off and the missus can come to terms with it being just a lapse in your recovery and welcome you back in. Work should support you so fuck them. ;)

 

 

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Can’t say much more, Rents but you’ve come through worse before and you can do it again. Don’t be beating yourself up over one trip on a long road. Also, the personal argument with the wife is probably tearing you apart but everything will be very raw at the minute and I’m sure things will calm down in time and she’ll speak to you about everything. And I agree with HMHM about work, you owe them fuck all. Hopefully, if you feel comfortable telling them about everything, they’ll have a good duty of care with you 

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21 hours ago, Gemmill said:

This business down south where this mad cunt has killed a mother and two daughters, and is now on the run. The daughters are 25 and 28, and wanker boy is 26 so I'm assuming he was maybe the partner of one of the lasses. 

 

They were the family of some racing dude from the BBC apparently. Poor bloke. 

 

The number of women killed by absolute bellend blokes in this country. 

 

 

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22 hours ago, Craig said:


It's just round the corner from where I used to live so there's some chatter going on with people I know who still live there. The suggestion is it's the ex-boyfriend of the younger daughter and he's tied them up and killed them with a crossbow. 

Fucking horrendous. As you say the poor bloke has gone from having a loving wife and daughters to fuck all because of some mad cunt angry with the world.

Not the first time a crossbow has been used in recent years. How are these things still unlicenced weapons that anyone can seemingly get hold of?!


The brother of the suspect is doing 23 years for a murder in 2018 !!! 

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10 minutes ago, Alex said:

Jesus wept. Seriously? 

 

Yeah apparently drove into some kid on a moped who'd hit his wing mirror. Knocked him off and killed him and seriously injured the pillion. Sound delightful siblings.

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On 10/07/2024 at 13:28, Renton said:

 

Thanks. Clearly I need to quit completely. Mrs Rents is throwing me out, understandibly. Also fucked up at work. I am in despair. I'm a fucking idiot. 

 

ah man, sorry to hear this mate. 

 

the fact you know you messed up is a good sign. don't beat yourself up too much though. alcoholism is a disease and you've suffered a relapse. it doesn't undo the positive changes you have already made in your life. 

 

keep your chin up and keep posting on here, if you feel it helps. 

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On 10/07/2024 at 13:44, Renton said:

 

Well, I managed to give up for the blerst part of a year recently. Wasn't too hard, but clearly I have no off button. I just want to be normal. Not gonna happen though I guess. 

 

This withdrawal is fucking brutal mind. Thanks for all your kind words. Going to go to my mums now. Don't want the kids see me like this. 

 

i don't have an off button either. you shouldn't beat yourself up too much about it man. you're not alone being wired this way. it's not like you can choose to not be addicted to something. 

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On 10/07/2024 at 13:44, Renton said:

 

Well, I managed to give up for the blerst part of a year recently. Wasn't too hard, but clearly I have no off button. I just want to be normal. Not gonna happen though I guess. 

 

This withdrawal is fucking brutal mind. Thanks for all your kind words. Going to go to my mums now. Don't want the kids see me like this. 

Best of luck to you, mate. I’m still relatively new here so don’t know if this is a thing you’ve been trying to address for years or if this is all new to you but I hope and believe you can get through it.

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