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Scottish Mag
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I miss comedy boy hugs :(

 

And circus boy hugs. Teehehee, when I was saying bye to my circus boys, one of them decided to hug me bye... which was GREAT coz that gave the others the go-ahead to do it..... :o Bloody hell I loveses those boys....... *sigh*

 

But, thanks Brock ;)

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Anytime luv :o (what a smiley)

 

And anyone reading this and feeling down, remember, it could be worse:

 

Oh, the mighty Amazon, home to a host of scary critters. Thanks to Hollywood, we've all been acquainted with the horrors of anacondas, jaguars, and piranhas. But the scariest creature of them all could be a tiny fish that's so translucent, you may not even realize it's there...

 

Until you start screaming in pain.

 

The candiru (Vandellia cirrhosa), only an inch long and needle thin, is the smallest species of catfish. Like other catfish, it has sharp spines on its dorsal and pectoral fins. It's adapted for a parasitic life in the gills and cloacae of bigger fish, and it finds its way into a new host by following the scent of uric acid, which fish emit from their gills. Then it uses its spines to plant itself into its new home.

 

Uric acid, by the way, happens to be a component of human urine. (You can probably guess where this is headed.)

 

So there you are, the intrepid toursit on the banks of the Amazon River, wading in for a swim. Maybe you had a little too much to drink and you also need to pee. You figure you might as well do it while you're in the water. So you glide right in and let loose.

 

Along comes a candiru. Sniffing urine, it darts toward the source, thinking it's heading into a host fish. Instead it's swimming straight up your urethra, where it plants itself by raising its gill covers and driving its spines into your exquisitely sensitive tissues.

 

This is where the screaming part comes in.

 

Removal is said to be so difficult, and the pain so excruciating, that South American natives have been known to amputate the penis just to end the ordeal.

 

Lest women think this is a problem just for the guys, candiru have been known to burrow inside any unprotected orifice, including the anus, vagina, and nose.

 

There's plenty of screaming to go around.

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I'm never swimming again :o

 

A warm summer's day. A swim in the lake. Kids splashing in the water. Sounds idyllic, doesn't it? But consider the frightening aftermath. A few days after your swim, your head is aching and your eyes are so sensitive to light you can't bear to open them. You throw up. You shake and shiver from a high fever. Soon you can't focus, and your body is racked by seizures. In a week, you are dead. The disease is amebic meningitis, and it's caused by a microorganism called Naegleria fowleri, which can be found throughout the world, living in freshwater lakes and ponds, in hot springs, even in swimming pools.

 

Remember that pleasant little swim in the lake? Maybe you inhaled some water. The deadly organism entered your nasal passages and traveled through semi-porous barrier called the cribriform plate, to invade your brain. Of the more than one hundred reported cases of amebic meningitis, only four survived. Most of the victims, strangely enough, are healthy children and young adults -- precisely the population you'd expect to be most resistant to disease. But this is one infection where the elders hold the advantage. As you grow older, your cribriform plate seals over, making it an effective barrier against invasion by Naegleria. Children and teenagers don't yet have this protection. For them, a swim in warm freshwater may prove fatal.

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did you know you can hypnotise a chicken by running your finger between it's eyes down it's beak in a straight line. They just stand there totally fixated on that point ahead of their beak...

 

I want to get like thrity of the chickens "aim" them all at a sleeping mates bed, so that when he wakes.. he's got a room full of chickens... all staring at him.... and One at the foot of his bed in a mini Hitler outfit...

 

does that make me twisted or just bored?

Edited by Geordie Fish
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i went out for a "couple" during the charity shield match, which turned it to alot, then went and Dj'ed drunk as fuck, i can't remember a single song i played apprently the takings were up and we were really busy :o

 

then met up with me mate and went out local, he reckons i pulled a nice lass, fuck if i know ;)

 

then came home and od'ed on scotch eggs i guess

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i went out for a "couple" during the charity shield match, which turned it to alot, then went and Dj'ed drunk as fuck, i can't remember a single song i played apprently the  takings were up and we were really busy :o

 

then met up with me mate and went out local, he reckons i pulled a nice lass, fuck if i know  ;)

 

then came home and od'ed on scotch eggs i guess

8767[/snapback]

 

 

Probably the sister of one of your mates. Or perhaps the girlfriend of one of your ex's? :(

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i've since had texts informing me.  really pretty lass only 17  ;) , pleased i didnt take if further

8820[/snapback]

 

It's legal. Mind, a lad I knew met this lass in a club, told him she was 18. Invited her back to his flat, just about to get in the taxi when she runs away crying, shouting 'I'm sorry, I'm only 14!'

 

Man, did we take the piss. :o

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i've since had texts informing me.  really pretty lass only 17  :blush: , pleased i didnt take if further

8820[/snapback]

 

It's legal. Mind, a lad I knew met this lass in a club, told him she was 18. Invited her back to his flat, just about to get in the taxi when she runs away crying, shouting 'I'm sorry, I'm only 14!'

 

Man, did we take the piss. :o

8828[/snapback]

 

;):(:(:(:blush:

 

i'm 26, so i should be a responsible adult by now

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My mates just turned 18 and he's going out with a bird he met at her 16th birthday party last week.. I know it's only 2 years but it seems a bit wrong as 2 weeks ago she was "illegal" if you know what I mean :o

 

Edit - The party was at a football club that he was at.. He didn't just turn up to somebodys 16th birthday party

Edited by Southern Geordie
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I was out in Whitley Bay dancing with this lass that I thought was 19/20 when all of a sudden I'm dragged to the bar by my mate who's just walked in... He tells me that I shouldn't do anything with this girl.. I'm suitably perturbed with a conversation using phrases like "Who the hell are you to tell me.... what's it got to do with you?....is she your girlfriend like?..." etc. etc.

 

it's at this point he tells me that in his capacity as Maths Teacher at whitley Bay High School, this girl was his student of 16! and was in detention with him that very day.

 

safe to say we buggered off rather quickly and as we were leaving this lass shouted after us "See you on monday Mr Coleman"...

 

god I felt like I should buy a mac and a bag of pic and mix!

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My mates just turned 18 and he's going out with a bird he met at her 16th birthday party last week.. I know it's only 2 years but it seems a bit wrong as 2 weeks ago she was "illegal" if you know what I mean :o

 

Edit - The party was at a football club that he was at.. He didn't just turn up to somebodys 16th birthday party

8835[/snapback]

 

A 17-18 year-old would probably not be prosecuted for having sex with a 15 year-old.

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