Meenzer 14030 Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 That's why he's so in favour of Gideon's benefit cuts for the young. Even more years to wreak the consequences of interminable kitchen disasters and haphazard parenting on his offspring. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christmas Tree 3997 Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 I would have left home at the age of 11 if I was CT's child. With those legs and knees I would have sold you to the circus long before then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 34379 Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 Let's say your son now is 6 or something. I just can't imagine a situation where things don't turn out better for him in the long term if he leaves now, than if he remains under your stewardship for the next 12 years. I'd pack my bags now tbh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayatollah Hermione 12757 Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 Let's say your son now is 6 or something. I just can't imagine a situation where things don't turn out better for him in the long term if he leaves now, than if he remains under your stewardship for the next 12 years. I'd pack my bags now tbh. "Fancy some metal detecting, son?" "I'm fucking away, fatha. Sad bastard" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toonotl 2406 Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 Let's say your son now is 6 or something. I just can't imagine a situation where things don't turn out better for him in the long term if he leaves now, than if he remains under your stewardship for the next 12 years. I'd pack my bags now tbh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38708 Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 Realised at 1:30 this afternoon my phone was missing ( in Leeds City centre.) Turned on iPhone tracker on mates phone and watched it making it's way down street 2 miles away. We piled in the car and within 15 minutes had tracked it to an address on a dodgy estate. Knocked on the door, the bloke who answered saw me, a stern Glaswegian and another big Geordie on his doorstep and you could hear his arse hitting the floor " I've tracked my iPhone to this address mate, shall we do this nicely?" Handed me my phone, the pouch it was in, and all the contents intact, whilst apologising profusely. The wonders of modern technology. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christmas Tree 3997 Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 Excellent Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 26745 Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 Well played, MF. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38708 Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 I must admit I was surprised how quickly his arse dropped, pretty much the second he opened the door. Played Pink Floyd all the way home to counteract the raging testosterone that was swilling about in the van. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Makom 0 Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 Did he actually admit he stole it? Didn't he at least try to come up with some lame excuse, like he was going to hand it in to the police later? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38708 Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 Stammered out something about being unable to ring me as it was locked. I wasn't really listening tbh, I was just pleased to get everything back without having to execute Plan B. *waits to find out where/how I went wrong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Makom 0 Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 Well, there was that guy who got murdered recently after doing the exact same thing you did. But as we all know, nobody ever died who had the good sense to take a couple of big guys with them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 34379 Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 He probably thought he was about to busted by Rogue Traders with Dominic Littewood braying on his door. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38708 Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 Get fucked, C3PO. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 34379 Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 http://freethinker.co.uk/2013/02/05/brazilian-pastor-is-behind-bars-after-telling-his-flock-that-he-penis-contained-holy-milk/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catmag 336 Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 He probably thought he was about to busted by Rogue Traders with Dominic Littewood braying on his door. Very well played MF, sir! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 19800 Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 He probably thought he was about to busted by Rogue Traders with Dominic Littewood braying on his door. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 8985 Posted July 10, 2015 Share Posted July 10, 2015 Stammered out something about being unable to ring me as it was locked. I wasn't really listening tbh, I was just pleased to get everything back without having to execute Plan B. *waits to find out where/how I went wrong. ... How was he going to ring you? He had your phone? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toonotl 2406 Posted July 10, 2015 Share Posted July 10, 2015 Right. MF, go back over there and point out the ridiculousness of his statement in the most verbose terms imaginable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jill 0 Posted July 10, 2015 Share Posted July 10, 2015 Well played, MF. I'd definitely get myself murdered trying that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayatollah Hermione 12757 Posted July 10, 2015 Share Posted July 10, 2015 Right. MF, go back over there and point out the ridiculousness of his statement in the most verbose terms imaginable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38708 Posted July 10, 2015 Share Posted July 10, 2015 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaddockLad 14576 Posted July 10, 2015 Share Posted July 10, 2015 Old Corfu Phil is back on form http://huff.to/1TqfeZS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38708 Posted July 10, 2015 Share Posted July 10, 2015 He's clearly pissed off that the arse has fallen out of his kebab van franchises in the Old Country. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toonotl 2406 Posted July 10, 2015 Share Posted July 10, 2015 This is pretty well par for the course with oldies, isn't it? My Granddad used to swear at his vegetable garden. I'm looking forward to old age. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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