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Craig

Temperatures

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50F degrees

People in southern England turn on the central heating

People in Edinburgh plant out bedding plants

 

40F degrees

Southerners shiver uncontrollably

Glaswegians sunbathe on the beach at Largs

 

 

35F degrees

Cars in the south of England refuse to start

People in Falkirk drive with their windows down

 

 

20F degrees

Southerners wear overcoats, gloves and woolly hats

Aberdonian men throw on a T-shirt & girls start wearing mini-skirts

 

 

15F degrees

Southerners begin to evacuate to the continent

People from Dundee swim in the North Sea at Broughty Ferry

 

 

Zero degrees

Life in the south grinds to a halt

Inverness folk have the last BBQ before it gets cold

 

 

Minus 10F degrees

Life in the south ceases to exist

People in Dunfermline throw on a light jacket

 

 

Minus 80F degrees

Polar bears wonder if it's worth carrying on

Boy Scouts in Oban start wearing their long trousers

 

 

Minus 100F degrees

Santa Claus abandons North Pole

People in Stirling put on their 'long johns'

 

 

Minus 173F degrees

Alcohol freezes

Glaswegians get upset because all the pubs are shut

 

 

Minus 297F degrees

Microbial life starts to disappear

The cows in Dumfriesshire complain about farmers with cold hands

 

 

Minus 460F degrees

All atomic motion stops

Shetlanders stamp their feet and blow on their hands

 

 

Minus 500F degrees

Hell freezes over

Scotland wins the World Cup.......

 

:nufc:

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Old joke week part two :nufc:

142841[/snapback]

 

Positively ancient that. And the one I heard substituted Scottish people with Geordies. Must try harder Craig! :D

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Old joke week part two :D

142841[/snapback]

 

Positively ancient that. And the one I heard substituted Scottish people with Geordies. Must try harder Craig! :(

142842[/snapback]

 

a blast from the past :nufc: (yeah i'd seen the geordie one)

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Old joke week part two :nufc:

142841[/snapback]

 

Positively ancient that. And the one I heard substituted Scottish people with Geordies. Must try harder Craig! :D

142842[/snapback]

 

Generically identical tho tbf.

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Guest alex
Old joke week part two :nufc:

142841[/snapback]

 

Positively ancient that. And the one I heard substituted Scottish people with Geordies. Must try harder Craig! :D

142842[/snapback]

 

Generically identical tho tbf.

142851[/snapback]

Says the half-mackem.

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Old joke week part two :nufc:

142841[/snapback]

 

Positively ancient that. And the one I heard substituted Scottish people with Geordies. Must try harder Craig! :D

142842[/snapback]

 

Generically identical tho tbf.

142851[/snapback]

Says the half-mackem.

142865[/snapback]

 

/half Jamaican

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Old joke week part two :nufc:

142841[/snapback]

 

Positively ancient that. And the one I heard substituted Scottish people with Geordies. Must try harder Craig! :D

142842[/snapback]

 

Generically identical tho tbf.

142851[/snapback]

Says the half-mackem.

142865[/snapback]

 

/half Jamaican

142868[/snapback]

 

I prefer 'Jamackem' if you dont mind

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Guest alex

That ad where the couple have been on honeymoon in Jamaica for 10 years reminds me on Mancy.

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That ad where the couple have been on honeymoon in Jamaica for 10 years reminds me on Mancy.

142870[/snapback]

 

Every time I hear the word Jamica I'm reminded of the "D'ya make her?" joke. Is mancy really a rasta then?

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Guest alex
That ad where the couple have been on honeymoon in Jamaica for 10 years reminds me on Mancy.

142870[/snapback]

 

Every time I hear the word Jamica I'm reminded of the "D'ya make her?" joke. Is mancy really a rasta then?

142875[/snapback]

D'yer Mak'er, the reggae tune by Led Zep :nufc:

Re: da Manc: Nah, I've know idea where all this started either.

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That ad where the couple have been on honeymoon in Jamaica for 10 years reminds me on Mancy.

142870[/snapback]

 

Every time I hear the word Jamica I'm reminded of the "D'ya make her?" joke. Is mancy really a rasta then?

142875[/snapback]

 

Aye. He had his dreads highlighted with blonde tips in recognition of his Mackem/charva heritage.

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That ad where the couple have been on honeymoon in Jamaica for 10 years reminds me on Mancy.

142870[/snapback]

 

Every time I hear the word Jamica I'm reminded of the "D'ya make her?" joke. Is mancy really a rasta then?

142875[/snapback]

D'yer Mak'er, the reggae tune by Led Zep :nufc:

Re: da Manc: Nah, I've know idea where all this started either.

142878[/snapback]

 

That's disappointing mon.

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Depending on what you read I'm either Jamaican or Northern Irish. An Irish Reggae sensation if you will. Pat O' Banton.

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Guest alex
Depending on what you read I'm either Jamaican or Northern Irish. An Irish Reggae sensation if you will. Pat O' Banton.

142883[/snapback]

:nufc:

Good man so he is.

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Depending on what you read I'm either Jamaican or Northern Irish. An Irish Reggae sensation if you will. Pat O' Banton.

142883[/snapback]

:nufc:

Good man so he is.

142884[/snapback]

 

"Ei'm gonna haff yew kelled!"

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Guest alex
Does anyone have ant idea on what Dotbum is?

142887[/snapback]

I thought he was from Dublin.

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Does anyone have ant idea on what Dotbum is?

142887[/snapback]

 

Bogtrotter I believe. He's very PC about it. I said the wrong thing once and he looked up at me from my newly tarmacked drive, raised his eyebrows (including the ones on his cheeks) and played merry hell!

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Does anyone have ant idea on what Dotbum is?

142887[/snapback]

I thought he was from Dublin.

142889[/snapback]

 

Yeah, originally, but he now lives in France with his g/f and gadgets? Iirc he once said he was in his forties but somehow I really doubt this......

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Does anyone have ant idea on what Dotbum is?

142887[/snapback]

I thought he was from Dublin.

142889[/snapback]

 

Yeah, originally, but he now lives in France with his g/f and gadgets? Iirc he once said he was in his forties but somehow I really doubt this......

142893[/snapback]

 

Sorta makes him surplus to requirements n'est-ce pas?

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Does anyone have ant idea on what Dotbum is?

142887[/snapback]

I thought he was from Dublin.

142889[/snapback]

 

Yeah, originally, but he now lives in France with his g/f and gadgets? Iirc he once said he was in his forties but somehow I really doubt this......

142893[/snapback]

 

Sorta makes him surplus to requirements n'est-ce pas?

142897[/snapback]

 

:nufc:

 

She does all the work too. He'll be out on his ear soon.

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I'll take credit for the manc-mag=Rasta wannabe thing. :nufc: It's true though - first piss-up I went to I couldn't place his accent, but when he turned up at the next one with dreaded extensions it all fell into place. Weird bloke.

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Is he not late 30s? He lives the life of Riley tbh. Working from home AND it's sunny a lot of the time by the sound of things! Bastid.

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