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luckyluke

World Cup Viewing rules for Women

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Extremely important advice and recommendations to be passed

on to wives, girlfriends, fiancés, mothers, sisters, daughters, etc.

(to all women in general) These rules are to be communicated

prior to the World Cup in June/July this year...

 

LIST OF RULES

1.From 9th June to 9th July 2006, you should read the sports section of the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the World Cup, and that way you will be able to join in the conversations. If you fail to do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you will be totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.

 

2.During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times, without any exceptions. If you even take a glimpse of the remote control, you will lose it (your eye).

 

3.If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don’t mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me. If you decide to stand nude in front of the TV, make sure you put clothes on right after because if you Catch a cold, I wont have time to take you to the doctor or look after you during the World Cup month.

 

4.During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell from the second floor... it wont happen.

 

5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the games. In return, you will be

allowed to use the TV between 12am and 6am, unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.

 

6.Please, please, please!! if you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say “get over it, its only a game”, or “don’t worry, they’ll win next time”. If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about football than me and your so called “words of encouragement” will only lead to a break up or divorce.

 

7.You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and only if the halftime score is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying “one” game, hence do not use

the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to “spend time together”.

 

8.The replays of the goals are very important. I don’t care if I have seen them or I haven’t seen them, I want to see them again. Many times.

 

9.Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings that requires my attendance

because:

a)I will not go,

B)I will not go, and

c)I will not go.

But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash.

 

10.The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying “but you have already seen this...why don’t you change the channel to something we can all watch??”, the reply will be: “Refer to Rule #2 of this list”.

 

11.And finally, please save your expressions such as “Thank God the World Cup is only every 4 years”. I am immune to these words, because after this comes the Champions League, Premier League, Italian League, Spanish League, etc etc.

 

12. Thank you for your co-operation.

 

Regards,

Men of the World

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Fuck this joke has done the round so much it's boring!

That and the nudie slideshow with all the 2002 nations and the hairy turk at the end!

Where is mag's timeline when you need it?

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Old joke week is getting....old.  :rolleyes:

143974[/snapback]

:lol::lol:

Print Out Taken and handed to me Mom!!!

144473[/snapback]

 

 

Offcourse there were a few edits!!

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Old joke week is getting....old.  :lol:

143974[/snapback]

:lol::rolleyes:

Print Out Taken and handed to me Mom!!!

144473[/snapback]

 

 

Offcourse there were a few edits!!

144474[/snapback]

 

Any reason you quoted me though? :lol:

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Old joke week is getting....old.  :lol:

143974[/snapback]

:lol::rolleyes:

Print Out Taken and handed to me Mom!!!

144473[/snapback]

 

 

Offcourse there were a few edits!!

144474[/snapback]

 

Any reason you quoted me though? :lol:

144482[/snapback]

 

 

I can explain hehe...was quoting our good ol "catmag" clicked reply on ur message by mistake :lol:

 

:lol: rocks!!

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We need some rules for Men! My boyf hates the game, but I love it.

I fear there will be some tough times ahead.

 

If push comes to shove, football before boy methinks.

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We need some rules for Men! My boyf hates the game, but I love it.

I fear there will be some tough times ahead.

 

If push comes to shove, football before boy methinks.

145197[/snapback]

 

 

You could all ways straddle him while watching the football and the chances are he will fall asleep after words, leaving you to watch the next 85mins of the game in peace. :lol:

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We need some rules for Men! My boyf hates the game, but I love it.

I fear there will be some tough times ahead.

 

If push comes to shove, football before boy methinks.

145197[/snapback]

 

same in our house :blink:

 

Hubby has been fully warned that he wont get any sense out of me for the next few weeks :lol: He's out at his garage alot at the mo anyway, but if he's home i can always watch the football in another room or go to the pub with my mate.

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We need some rules for Men! My boyf hates the game, but I love it.

 

145197[/snapback]

 

Just for you, here are some rules for men who don't like football:

 

1. Ring the local police station and ask if anyone's handed in a Y chromosome, as you have clearly misplaced yours.

 

2. That is all.

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We need some rules for Men! My boyf hates the game, but I love it.

 

145197[/snapback]

 

Just for you, here are some rules for men who don't like football:

 

1. Ring the local police station and ask if anyone's handed in a Y chromosome, as you have clearly misplaced yours.

 

2. That is all.

145462[/snapback]

 

:lol:

 

Seriously though, doesnt like football? Whats all that about? Something rotten in the state of Denmark if you ask me!

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Guest alex

According to an aboriginal I met in Oz, football is a wog sport! Took me a few seconds to get over the shock and realise wtf he was on about.

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Guest alex
...You couldn't let me in on what he was talking bout could you?

 

:lol:

145478[/snapback]

Wogs is a term for Italian, Greek and so on immigrants in Australia. It's not really offensive in the way some terms are here.

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fair point, I've yet to meet anyone who would admit to being a charva.... yet they're all over the place...

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I love it when obvious charvas talk about other folk as being utter charvas and that they hate charvas. There must be a sliding scale for it. No doubt someone somewhere thinks I'm one.

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Guest alex
I love it when obvious charvas talk about other folk as being utter charvas and that they hate charvas.  There must be a sliding scale for it.  No doubt someone somewhere thinks I'm one.

145505[/snapback]

:lol: Mancy reckons I'm a bit of a one. Cheers mate!

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