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Nicked off a yids site


Mags
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Irish International Damien Duff today sent shock waves through the sporting world when he announced that he is to retire form competitive football and join Newcastle United.

 

In a statement, the former Chelsea double Premiership winner said 'obviously it was flattering to have Liverpool and Tottenham interested but in talks with both clubs it was apparent that they intended to challenge for honours and, at 27, i felt that i just couldn't be arsed. When Newcastle came in and offered silly money in wages and signing on fee, I thought all my Christmases had come together'.

 

My decision was also influenced by chats I had with Alan Shearer and Michael owen who convinced me that I should see out my career running down the wing for Newcastle with 52000 telling me I was a star playing for a big club and shouting for the manager's head when I play crap.

 

The whole set up is very attractive and it will also be great to have Shay Given to act as interpreter while I am learning the language'.

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How dare he eh? How dare decided to move 'ap norf' instead of a move to Spurs, who we all know are a 'clarssy team'.

 

of course if you go 'daaairn the Layne' they all speak the Queen's English perfectly.

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Spurs define mediocrity in the Premier League - last season was the only time they've ever finished in the top 6 (never finished in the bottom 6 either). Yet now they think they're 'big time' because they came 5th. Fucking hilarious tbh. Oh, and Jenas :lol:

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Spurs are a bunch of nobs like.

 

We are a bigger club then them hands down, why anyone would want to play in front of 30k screaming cockneys i dont know...

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I hate them with a passion, I know other supporters take the piss out of us for not winning anying this since the Norman conquest, but to listen to Spurs fans you'd have thought that their glory years where just a season or two ago.

 

They are SO living in the past its not true, they just cannot get it into their heads that they are not a Massive club anymore, they are obsessed with their history and simply ignor their more recent mediocrity.

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I had a Spurs fan patient at work yesterday who commented on my Newcastle tie. His words were "When you came over did you decide it was easier to follow a small club than a big one? This way no one can accuse you of jumping on any bandwagons." That's when I decided he was a cunt and I made sure his scan was delayed by about 25 minutes. :lol:

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To be fair, the article was at least done with an amusing slant.

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I thought it was pretty funny, but they do seem a little bitter over this transfer. Then again, would Newcastle fans look much better if you were judging us on the average online presence?

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I had a Spurs fan patient at work yesterday who commented on my Newcastle tie. His words were "When you came over did you decide it was easier to follow a small club than a big one? This way no one can accuse you of jumping on any bandwagons." That's when I decided he was a cunt and I made sure his scan was delayed by about 25 minutes. :lol:

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PS is everyone on a day off or summat?! How can anyone let this go unchecked?! :lol::lol::lol:

 

Steve, if you were indeed wearing a Newcastle tie, you want to run your head under the next scan you do today an all. :lol:

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PS is everyone on a day off or summat?! How can anyone let this go unchecked?! :lol:  :lol:  :lol:

 

Steve, if you were indeed wearing a Newcastle tie, you want to run your head under the next scan you do today an all.  :lol:

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:lol:

 

He can then act mystified when the doctor queries the invisible head that's apparently growing out of the patient's skull.

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PS is everyone on a day off or summat?! How can anyone let this go unchecked?! :lol:  :lol:  :lol:

 

Steve, if you were indeed wearing a Newcastle tie, you want to run your head under the next scan you do today an all.  :lol:

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:lol:

 

He can then act mystified when the doctor queries the invisible head that's apparently growing out of the patient's skull.

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If he still had his hair he could look like one of those solar plexus things in Donnie Darko.

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I wear a newcastle tie to work when we're playing that night, is that real no-no or am I excused for being an exile?

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To be honest mate, my snotty comments weren't because I think showing allegiance to NUFC at work is objectionable, it's simply to do with the fact that club 'fashion' merchandise is absoluetly fucking shit! :lol::lol:

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I wear a newcastle tie to work when we're playing that night, is that real no-no or am I excused for being an exile?

164646[/snapback]

 

To be honest mate, my snotty comments weren't because I think showing allegiance to NUFC at work is objectionable, it's simply to do with the fact that club 'fashion' merchandise is absoluetly fucking shit! :lol::lol:

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Aye, my mother seems to think that Newcastle shirts (i.e. the button-up variety) are an acceptable "can't think of anything better" Christmas present. Which is all well and good - they tend to look fairly smart and that, it's just they've all got a fuckoff great club badge across the breast, making them basically unwearable in all but the most partisan of company.

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