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Tales from Sunderland


walkinthedog
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In the hunt for a good thread.....

 

A few years ago I made the terrible mistake of finishing my studies at Sunlun university, the reasons for this are complex, suffice to say I didn't realise just how redneck those red n whites are.

 

I was there for about three years and in that time regularly had to deal with the police/insurance companies/random fights etc. I was attemptedly mugged/randomly attacked/ abused for wearing a suit, for reading a book, for driving my car ON THE ROAD NORMALLY. That poor car was repeatedly attacked by people walking past (it was an old shit heap anyway), etc etc etc. Now I actually wish I'd documented all these incidents as I'm sure I've forgotten how many wrong things happened there. It'd probably be the makings of a horror novel. Once I saw a gang of young lads walking along the street playing with their cocks. I kid you not, and wish I had forgotten that one.

 

One thing that comes to mind...was living in a top floor flat on a victorian terrace. The house next door was empty for while and during this time some fucker broke into it - found nothing I'd imagine, then had the bright idea to climb in the loft, then TORE DOWN the bricks between the lofts, crawled into ours and nicked a few bits n pieces we were storing up there.

 

When the police came round (on this occassion) they noticed what a good view our lounge had to look down the street to a notorious dealer's house, they asked if we'd allow an observation post. Erm, no. Thanks. Nice area obviously.

 

On a positive note I was insured and managed to get a holiday out of it, bit of white collar crime, filthy skunk.

 

My poor car was eventually written off FROM THE INSIDE by some twunt who broke into it and couldn't hotwire it so climbed into the boot, grabbed the wheel brace and proceeded to smash it up whilst sitting inside. :blush: He was arrested but the bastard police wouldn't let me know who he was.

 

Some fucker crashed into me in a different car and after we swapped details and he admitted guilt (hit me from behind - no question of blame) he came round to my place of work (followed from home?) to try and intimidate me into not claiming on his insurance and I was making it up etc etc, my wife was lying on the sofa for a week in whiplashed agony. CUNT. Daft bastard reckoned he had been stalking me and had video footage of me excercising on a works day out in Grasmere, something I'd never done! Always wondered if he'd randomly stalked someone else or had just watched too many movies.

 

Once someone knocked on my door and asked me if I 'kna if thes any flats round here been gettin?' so I did get some laughter out of living there. ;)

 

A friend of mine came to visit and when I opened the door I asked him where he had parked, he gesticulated down the street unfortunately in the general direction of a young mother with pram who took exception to this. She screamed across the road at us 'What are yee fookin lookin at, I'll fuckin knack yas!'. :pray:

 

I remember when the Pantene Pro-V was taken off the shelves in Kwiksave as the kids had worked out if you cook it up and inject it you got a speed like hit. They were going in there and nicking bin bags opening them up and emptying the shampoo off the shelf - only that shampoo. discerning lunatics.

 

Like I said I've probably forgotten a lot it. Helluva place.

 

I have lived all over the north east, many parts of the UK (I lived in The Meadows in Nottingham - the first part of the country where cops on the beat wore guns routinely - lovely people there by comparison). I lived all over Oz and travelled far, wide and long on this wonderful planet. Nowhere is a shit as Sunderland imho. And let me make it clear I am talking about the attitude of the morons there. There are morons everywhere but the mackems take it to a their own unique level.

 

Incidentally some of my best mates are mackems (have all left the city though), and there are some good people there, fuck knows why they haven't left though.

 

I'm not bitter, honest, just thought this might spark a thread better than some of the cheese related ones doing the rounds. :puke:

Edited by walkinthedog
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My sister drives what on the inside is a finely tuned automobile but on the outside looks like a disused shed.

 

Whilst parked outside of sunderland uni someone decided to smash her windows. so my sister saved up for a few weeks, borrowed some money of me mam and then went to a local scrap yard to get them replaced.

 

So the very next night, guess what happens?

 

The windows are put out again.

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I used to have to go to Sunderland Civic Centre for meetings and I never really had a problem with the place. I found the town centre a bit depressing, but apart from that it's just like any other town I've been to. I'm actually, God have mercy on my soul, going to the SOS in late September, as an away fan with my Sheff Wed supporting mate. You know when you agree to something pissed then realise it's a very bad idea.

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This has the makings of a good thread.

 

I've lived about ten miles (as the crow flys) from Sunderland most my life and mercifully have only been there three or four times, never for more than a few hours. It is indeed a shit hole.

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This has the makings of a good thread.

 

I've lived about ten miles (as the crow flys) from Sunderland most my life and mercifully have only been there three or four times, never for more than a few hours. It is indeed a shit hole.

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Same with me. It reminds me a bit of when I saw Micheal Palin on telly in Vladivostok ;)

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Almost my entire extended family are mackems.

However only my dad remains the rest had the good sense to get out of there 30-40 years ago.

 

Still have to go there and see my old man on accasions, thankfully he lives in a decent area but the whole town depresses me.

 

Went to university there and had an Asian lecturer who lived in S'land but point blank refused to go out there after being abused. Most students won't go into town on a weekend.

 

The place has one HUUGGE inferiority complex.

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I once wet to Sunderland for a night out. I thought Idols was just as bad as the one in Newcastle. Then we went round the corner and into the most horrific bar I've ever sampled. There was a pungent odour throughout and every lass in there was mutton dressed as mutton. Can't remember the name of the place but I had been assured earlier in the day that it was the best place to go.

 

Just like the Bigg Market tbh, but there doesn't seem to be an alternative down there.

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