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Geordie Boyo

The Chavtastic Thread

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1. What do you call a Chav in a box?

Innit.

 

2. What do you call a Chav in a filing cabinet?

Sorted

 

3. What do you call a Chav in a box with a lock on it?

Safe.

 

4. What do you call an Eskimo Chav?

Innuinnit.

 

5. Why are Chavs like slinkies?

They have no real use but it's great to watch one fall down a flight

of

stairs.

 

6. What do you call a Chavette in a white tracksuit?

The bride.

 

7. You're in your car and you see a Chav on a bike, why should you try

not to hit him? It might be your bike.

 

8. What's the difference between a Chav and a coconut?

One's thick and hairy, the other's a coconut.

 

9. What's the first question at a Chav quiz night?

"What you lookin' at?"

 

10. How do you get 100 Chavs into a phone box?

Paint three stripes on it.

 

11. Two Chavs in a car without any music. Who's driving?

The police

 

12. What do you call a Chav with 9 GCSEs?

A liar.

 

13. What do you say to a Chav with a job?

Can I have fries with that?

 

14. What do you say to a Chav in a shirt and tie?

Will the defendant please stand

 

15. Why is 3 chavs going over a cliff in a Nova a shame?

A Nova has 4 seats

 

16. What do you call a 30 year old chavette?

Granny.

 

17. What do you call 100 chavs at the bottom of a river?

A start.

 

18. Why did the Chav cross the road?

To start a fight with a random stranger for no reason whatsoever.

 

19. What do you call a Chav at college?

The cleaner.

 

20. Two chavs jump off beachy head, who wins?

Society

__________________________

 

:lol:

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3 little cunts in Game today made some filty comment about my lass as they were walking past. When i challenged them all 3 got their backs up

 

'fuckin said nowt daft cunt, eh eh, what, what, fuck off, whatever'

 

then all 3 of them said see ya see ya see ya about twenty times before leaving the shop.

 

I only said one sentence to them and it turned into a vicky pollard scene, me and my lass just looked at each other like 'what just happened there'

 

Little cunts should be beaten every time they step out of line by the police.

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:lol: I thought I was reading a joke there ;) Should have chased the little bastards with your shoe and threatened to give them a good walloping. ;)

 

 

 

....or at least that's what my granddad would have done...... ;)

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3 little cunts in Game today made some filty comment about my lass as they were walking past. When i challenged them all 3 got their backs up

 

'fuckin said nowt daft cunt, eh eh, what, what, fuck off, whatever'

 

then all 3 of them said see ya see ya see ya about twenty times before leaving the shop.

 

I only said one sentence to them and it turned into a vicky pollard scene, me and my lass just looked at each other like 'what just happened there'

 

Little cunts should be beaten every time they step out of line by the police.

187976[/snapback]

 

 

Same here, when they try to act hard in front of there m8s and giving you grief and that, you should of giving him a happy slap and sorted the tosser out!

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3 little cunts in Game today made some filty comment about my lass as they were walking past. When i challenged them all 3 got their backs up

 

'fuckin said nowt daft cunt, eh eh, what, what, fuck off, whatever'

 

then all 3 of them said see ya see ya see ya about twenty times before leaving the shop.

 

I only said one sentence to them and it turned into a vicky pollard scene, me and my lass just looked at each other like 'what just happened there'

 

Little cunts should be beaten every time they step out of line by the police.

187976[/snapback]

 

I'm not the only person who'd be rooting for the Charv's in this situation, am I?

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3 little cunts in Game today made some filty comment about my lass as they were walking past. When i challenged them all 3 got their backs up

 

'fuckin said nowt daft cunt, eh eh, what, what, fuck off, whatever'

 

then all 3 of them said see ya see ya see ya about twenty times before leaving the shop.

 

I only said one sentence to them and it turned into a vicky pollard scene, me and my lass just looked at each other like 'what just happened there'

 

Little cunts should be beaten every time they step out of line by the police.

187976[/snapback]

 

I'm not the only person who'd be rooting for the Charv's in this situation, am I?

188179[/snapback]

:lol:

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3 little cunts in Game today made some filty comment about my lass as they were walking past. When i challenged them all 3 got their backs up

 

'fuckin said nowt daft cunt, eh eh, what, what, fuck off, whatever'

 

then all 3 of them said see ya see ya see ya about twenty times before leaving the shop.

 

I only said one sentence to them and it turned into a vicky pollard scene, me and my lass just looked at each other like 'what just happened there'

 

Little cunts should be beaten every time they step out of line by the police.

187976[/snapback]

 

I'm not the only person who'd be rooting for the Charv's in this situation, am I?

188179[/snapback]

 

 

Yes cos verbally abusing my girlfriend in public is git cool man. Im sure you would have mumbled to your girlfriend to leave without causing a scene and walked past with your tail between your legs.

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3 little cunts in Game today made some filty comment about my lass as they were walking past. When i challenged them all 3 got their backs up

 

'fuckin said nowt daft cunt, eh eh, what, what, fuck off, whatever'

 

then all 3 of them said see ya see ya see ya about twenty times before leaving the shop.

 

I only said one sentence to them and it turned into a vicky pollard scene, me and my lass just looked at each other like 'what just happened there'

 

Little cunts should be beaten every time they step out of line by the police.

187976[/snapback]

 

I'm not the only person who'd be rooting for the Charv's in this situation, am I?

188179[/snapback]

 

 

Yes cos verbally abusing my girlfriend in public is git cool man. Im sure you would have mumbled to your girlfriend to leave without causing a scene and walked past with your tail between your legs.

188246[/snapback]

 

We divn't get hassled cos i'm nails and all the Charv's are dazzled by my lasses beauty. They just gawp in awe of us.

 

I think it's really sad your lass is so aesthetically unpleasant you get shouted at in public. :lol:

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I was pre-ordering PES6!!!!

188522[/snapback]

 

He am win tbh.

 

Oh, hang on, which console?

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:unsure: Not familiar with the power of PES then.

 

* Massively upgraded AI-- players run intelligently into space when not in possession of the ball

* Physical side of play has been refined, with players working to turn a defender as they receive the ball

* Shooting system refined players can attempt more snap shots

* New licensed teams including official kits for Argentina, the Netherlands, Italy, Spain and Sweden

* Gives players the ability to make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya"

* More balanced referees

* New and exciting game modes including International Challenge and Random modes

* Much-loved Master League makes a welcome return

Edited by ObaGol

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BUMP

 

On me way to the Pub tonight and saw 15-20 Charv's up ahead but I carried on walking since massive groups don't always equal trouble. They started weilding golf clubs and planks and I began to feel threatened so I stopped and pretended to call someone hoping they were on there way to knock seven shades out of someone else. When they started running towards me shouting "Come on then, you wanker!" I realised I was in trouble. Now, I wouldn't usually fancy my chances with an unarmed Charva but 20 running towards me with Golf clubs? I was going to get my head kicked in if I stood there.

 

So I ran.

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Soft shite tbh. At least i stood me ground!

192768[/snapback]

 

:lol: Didn't think standing my ground would've worked when they're running at me waving Golf clubs about. Hardly think they were about to ask me to tee off with them.

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BUMP

 

On me way to the Pub tonight and saw 15-20 Charv's up ahead but I carried on walking since massive groups don't always equal trouble. They started weilding golf clubs and planks and I began to feel threatened so I stopped and pretended to call someone hoping they were on there way to knock seven shades out of someone else. When they started running towards me shouting "Come on then, you wanker!" I realised I was in trouble. Now, I wouldn't usually fancy my chances with an unarmed Charva but 20 running towards me with Golf clubs? I was going to get my head kicked in if I stood there.

 

So I ran.

192750[/snapback]

 

now you see...this is where an Uzi would come in so handy......mow the nofo's down in the street !!! :lol:

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Soft shite tbh. At least i stood me ground!

192768[/snapback]

 

You're my hero! Wish I was 'nails' like you :lol:

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BUMP

 

On me way to the Pub tonight and saw 15-20 Charv's up ahead but I carried on walking since massive groups don't always equal trouble. They started weilding golf clubs and planks and I began to feel threatened so I stopped and pretended to call someone hoping they were on there way to knock seven shades out of someone else. When they started running towards me shouting "Come on then, you wanker!" I realised I was in trouble. Now, I wouldn't usually fancy my chances with an unarmed Charva but 20 running towards me with Golf clubs? I was going to get my head kicked in if I stood there.

 

So I ran.

192750[/snapback]

 

 

What estate do you live on, Cowgate? :lol:

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BUMP

 

On me way to the Pub tonight and saw 15-20 Charv's up ahead but I carried on walking since massive groups don't always equal trouble. They started weilding golf clubs and planks and I began to feel threatened so I stopped and pretended to call someone hoping they were on there way to knock seven shades out of someone else. When they started running towards me shouting "Come on then, you wanker!" I realised I was in trouble. Now, I wouldn't usually fancy my chances with an unarmed Charva but 20 running towards me with Golf clubs? I was going to get my head kicked in if I stood there.

 

So I ran.

192750[/snapback]

 

Obviously did the right thing, vigilantism can't be far away if the cunts in charge allow this kind of thing to happen.

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BUMP

 

On me way to the Pub tonight and saw 15-20 Charv's up ahead but I carried on walking since massive groups don't always equal trouble. They started weilding golf clubs and planks and I began to feel threatened so I stopped and pretended to call someone hoping they were on there way to knock seven shades out of someone else. When they started running towards me shouting "Come on then, you wanker!" I realised I was in trouble. Now, I wouldn't usually fancy my chances with an unarmed Charva but 20 running towards me with Golf clubs? I was going to get my head kicked in if I stood there.

 

So I ran.

192750[/snapback]

 

Obviously did the right thing, vigilantism can't be far away if the cunts in charge allow this kind of thing to happen.

192795[/snapback]

 

I know a few people who've been disuaded from pressing charges by the Police when assaulted by this type of scum. Not only are these people getting away with it but the Police are making it easy for them by doing nowt but slapping them on the wrist when caught.

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You should have just turned to face them, and adopted the crane position from the Karate Kid as they approached. They would have turned tails and legged it.

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