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JawD

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Well if I was, the napalm tap in the office sure as hell just woke me up...

 

AND ... whats with people at cash points? Bloke in front of me today must have stood there for 5mins getting cash out. When it asked if he wanted a receipt I swear he was about to turn around and ask the fecking audience. All that pissing around and all he got was a tenner!

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Well if I was, the napalm tap in the office sure as hell just woke me up...

 

AND ... whats with people at cash points?  Bloke in front of me today must have stood there for 5mins getting cash out.  When it asked if he wanted a receipt I swear he was about to turn around and ask the fecking audience.  All that pissing around and all he got was a tenner!

195568[/snapback]

 

Dylan Moran had a rant about cashpoints and all the questions they ask you, during one of his routines. Funny as hell :razz:

 

Im not so keen to use them now as down here we have posters stuck on them asking us to look closely and make sure the machine hasnt been tampered with in any way, before you put your card in! :drinks:

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I'm out of here at half 4, but still.  The next 38 minutes will no doubt seem like an eternity.

195577[/snapback]

 

Have a snoose, if you get caught, tell em its sleep paralysis :nono:

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Well if I was, the napalm tap in the office sure as hell just woke me up...

 

AND ... whats with people at cash points?  Bloke in front of me today must have stood there for 5mins getting cash out.  When it asked if he wanted a receipt I swear he was about to turn around and ask the fecking audience.  All that pissing around and all he got was a tenner!

195568[/snapback]

it should be law that your not allowed to withdraw using more than one card at cash points. i see (most likely students) taking £20 out from this card, £10 from this one

 

etc

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Btw, JawD you're self employed ffs.  GO HOME!

195572[/snapback]

 

Aye, the lass in the office is off today and there's me and two others. Cant really slope off yet. Still 1hr 5min to go.....

 

:nono:

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it should be law that your not allowed to withdraw using more than one card at cash points.  i see (most likely students) taking £20 out from this card, £10 from this one

 

195581[/snapback]

 

 

It should also be the law that old people/students/the unemployed can't use the bank/post office before 9am, between 12 and 1pm or at all over the weekend.

 

:nono:

Edited by Happy Face

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I reckon I'm done for the day, though I've probably jinxed myself now. Going to lie low and hope nobody notices me.

 

I managed to draw £30 the other day after a few bevvies and walk away without actually taking the cash. Remarkably for Sarf Lahndan, it looks like nobody grabbed the money (or they all assumed it was some kind of Candid Camera setup), as my bank statement now has a mysterious £30 refund on it. Think I'll be a spot more careful in future though. :nono:

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Today is a first. I've never been early for work before so I'm going to be able to escape at 5 :aye:

 

Shame I'm just going home to not spend the money I haven't got. :nono:

Edited by Happy Face

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In the absence of anything better to pass the last half hour with, I propose some Reader's Poems from the Chronicle. I'll start the ball rolling with "I don't like to complain, but...." by Katy:

 

I'm a Geordie lass

With a mining past

And proud to be that too

Brought up on a new estate

Built to last from new

But now they say, they'll throw away

And bring us up to date

With new units, fires and baths

That now I have, I hate!

The bath's too small and far too low

It makes my back ache

The kitchen cupboards are too high

And the handles break

The fire is an ornament

That's only there for show

The only beat it throws out now

Is an imaginary glow!

A quick sweep of the neighbours

Found problems of the same

Floods, leaky pipes but

Like me they don't complain

Well, except for one

Who got things done

But we won't say her name

Who ever said?

"Out with the old

In with the new"

Was having a laugh

"You get nothing for nothing"

My mam, used to say

Give me back my bath!!

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well...for all you clock watchers still at work I am away out on the lash now  :puke:  catch you later.. :nono:

195590[/snapback]

 

You better not turn up going "me am home. me am drunk." later, spazina! :aye:

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well...for all you clock watchers still at work I am away out on the lash now   :puke:  catch you later.. :nono:

195590[/snapback]

 

You better not turn up going "me am home. me am drunk." later, spazina! :aye:

195595[/snapback]

 

me won't... :puke::puke:

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A weight off my mind, by George Carrick:

 

How many am I allowed in a single day?

I have to keep count to drive the pounds away

Calorific quantities, now displayed on all food,

Fat content, nutrients, hieroglyphics that do no good

Why can't I eat what I like, and just enjoy the taste

Instead of feeling guilty every mouthful I take,

Another notch in on the belt, looking for wasting hips,

Trying desperately to reduce that which passes my lips,

Jump on the scales, fidgeting forward and back,

Knowing they `weigh heavy' and adjust them at the back,

Holiday excesses need to be attacked with a will,

By denial of `proper' grub, I'm only allowed this swill,

Xmas on the horizon, so there's more lumps ahead,

And more peering at calorific intake, staying unfed,

Oh I give up, I may as well just accept my fate,

I'm gonna just buy bigger `claes' and enjoy me bait!

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Guest alex
In the absence of anything better to pass the last half hour with, I propose some Reader's Poems from the Chronicle.  I'll start the ball rolling with "I don't like to complain, but...." by Katy:

 

I'm a Geordie lass

With a mining past

And proud to be that too

Brought up on a new estate

Built to last from new

But now they say, they'll throw away

And bring us up to date

With new units, fires and baths

That now I have, I hate!

The bath's too small and far too low

It makes my back ache

The kitchen cupboards are too high

And the handles break

The fire is an ornament

That's only there for show

The only beat it throws out now

Is an imaginary glow!

A quick sweep of the neighbours

Found problems of the same

Floods, leaky pipes but

Like me they don't complain

Well, except for one

Who got things done

But we won't say her name

Who ever said?

"Out with the old

In with the new"

Was having a laugh

"You get nothing for nothing"

My mam, used to say

Give me back my bath!!

195593[/snapback]

:nono::aye::puke:

Who ever vets those at the Chronicle definitely has a giraffe and puts the shit ones in the paper. Wacky has been trying to get one published for years now.

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Still a hour to go! Two till i get home. :puke::aye:

 

So what are everyone’s plans for the weekend?

 

Going out tonight as it’s my ex-flat mates 21 and my mate from school is up in Aberdeen for a while.

 

Going to go see Aberdeen V Celtic the Morrow then sit in the pub for the Man U Spurs Game.

 

On Sunday i plan to stay in bed as long as possible. :nono:

Edited by khay

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