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Flight of the Conchords - Series One Tv rips

 

 

Bret:

They call me the rhymenocerous

Not because I'm fat

Not because I've got birds on my back

Because I'm horny, I'm horny

When I'm on the mic

I'm like global warming

You can't ignore me

In the bedroom I'm the gentleman

All the ladies come before me

Check your yellow pages I'm a registered rhymenaecologist

Now I'm passing over the mic to the hiphop-potamus

 

Jemaine:

They call me the hiphop-potamus

My lyrics are bottomless

 

Bret (spoken)Is that it?

Jemaine(spoken)Yeah

 

Bret:

Sometimes my rhymes are obscene

Described as smutty, pornographic scene that's r18

They're so filthy, I feel guilty

I have to rinse my mouth out with Listerine

Like when I rap about those bitches smothered in margarine

Hahahaha

(gun sound affects)

(spoken)Sorry about that, that was a bit violent

Sorry about that one, you have a go

 

jemaine:

They call me the hiphop-potamus

cause I got flows that glow like phosphorous

Poppin off the top of this oesophageus

Not because I'm a water dwelling mammal from Africa

Called a hippopotamus I'm not a hippopotamus, I'm a hiphop-potamus

Where did you get the preposterous hypothesis that I was a hippopotamus?

Did Steve tell you?

What's he got to do with it?

Bloody Steve!!

 

both guys:

Other rappers diss me

Say my rhymes are sissy

What, what, what, why, why, why?

 

jemaine:

Be more constructive with your feedback

 

Bret:

Because I rap about reality

both guys:

Like me and my grandma having a cup of tea?

Ain't no party like my nana's tea party

Hey-ho

 

bret:

Freestyle, hiphop-potamus you do some freestyling

jemaine:

I'm freestylin just on the microphone

On the bbc, on the bbc

I'm just freestylin on the bbc

Um British broadcasting company

i'm just basically making this shit up as I go along

Basically just free

Just basically from the top of my dome

Sometimes it's not so good

 

My rhymes are so potent that in this small segment

I made all the lady listeners pregnant

Yeah that's right, sometimes my lyrics are sexist

But you lovely bitches know, should know

I'm trying to correct this

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