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Taking A Dump At Work


wykikitoon
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Im sure ive seen a thraed on this, but after a search I cant find it.

 

Anyway, I aint one who enjoys going to the loo for a number two whilst in work. But when I have to I slam loads of bog roll down so I dont get no splash back and dont make much noise. I try and make as little noise as pos as I would die if someone heard me.

 

Anyway there are some guys where I work who dont care what sorts of noises they make! :blink: Some guy even laughed today when he nearly ripped his ass in two!

 

What are you like?

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When I worked in the civic you used to here some noises like. I would be taking a piss and all you could here was gas escaping from people's arses, the 'plonk' sound and chilling sound of someone going 'ggrrrnnn' like they're really going for the push.

 

There's a certain toilet on a certain floor in there that used to always have a fresh turd on the floor of one of the cubicles every day. I often wondered why the fuck anyone would do this.

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There's a certain toilet on a certain floor in there that used to always have a fresh turd on the floor of one of the cubicles every day. I often wondered why the fuck anyone would do this.

16431[/snapback]

 

 

Ah, the classic way of deflecting the (rightful) blame from oneself by questioning the motive behind said act. Excellent! :blink:

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There's a certain toilet on a certain floor in there that used to always have a fresh turd on the floor of one of the cubicles every day. I often wondered why the fuck anyone would do this.

16431[/snapback]

 

 

Ah, the classic way of deflecting the (rightful) blame from oneself by questioning the motive behind said act. Excellent! :blink:

16457[/snapback]

 

Not even I could miss by that much! :razz:

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I used to work with this scruffy punk who was the dirtiest bastard on two legs. His party trick was to somehow spray shit all over the place, up the back of the cistern, on the floor, the cubicle was left looking like a Rolf Harris abstract after loose ring had been in

 

This cunt would take a shit anywhere as well and it was normal behaviour for him to carry a few sheets of toilet roll around in his back pocket in case nature called and he was caught short somewhere awkward, no shame what so ever.

 

What made it worse he was a vegetarian and he also had a liking for cheap alcohol, whether it was White Lightning or Scandia Green this scumbag would drink it especially if it was free. I recall on one occasion there was a cheap shop down Wallsend that had out of date beans on special at 7p a tin so dirty arse borrowed the works van and went bought an absolute shit load (no pun intended) then lived off them for the following months so you can imagine what his bottom antics were like over this period of time.

 

He's a toon fan as well, season ticket holder so if your reading this you dirty bastard you know who you are, get to the doctors and get your slack arse sorted out before some fucka catches Cholera from you.

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Where I used to work a bloke used to manage to get a perfect stripe of shit running from the top of the toilet rim all the way down into the bowl. Now, he would have had to lift the seat to do this and it was a fairly regular occurence (about once a week). Fucking tramp.

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Where I used to work a bloke used to manage to get a perfect stripe of shit running from the top of the toilet rim all the way down into the bowl. Now, he would have had to lift the seat to do this and it was a fairly regular occurence (about once a week). Fucking tramp.

16537[/snapback]

 

While we're on the subject, what sort of tramp sits there, picks their nose and then proceeds to wipe their excavations all over the toilet cubicle walls when theres fucking toilet paper right next to them?!

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Where I used to work a bloke used to manage to get a perfect stripe of shit running from the top of the toilet rim all the way down into the bowl. Now, he would have had to lift the seat to do this and it was a fairly regular occurence (about once a week). Fucking tramp.

16537[/snapback]

 

While we're on the subject, what sort of tramp sits there, picks their nose and then proceeds to wipe their excavations all over the toilet cubicle walls when theres fucking toilet paper right next to them?!

16546[/snapback]

 

is it worse that a guy who works here, counted the number of snots on the toliet door and then sent an email round complaining about it

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Where I used to work a bloke used to manage to get a perfect stripe of shit running from the top of the toilet rim all the way down into the bowl. Now, he would have had to lift the seat to do this and it was a fairly regular occurence (about once a week). Fucking tramp.

16537[/snapback]

 

While we're on the subject, what sort of tramp sits there, picks their nose and then proceeds to wipe their excavations all over the toilet cubicle walls when theres fucking toilet paper right next to them?!

16546[/snapback]

 

Civil Servants, thats what sort of tramps do that. When i worked up Longbenton the cleaner who used to do the cleaning on my floor would get the same bus as me in the morning. She told me that the state some of the toilets were left in, especially the woman's, were nothing short of a fucking disgrace and the majority of these snotty fuckas swan around the place like butter wouldn't melt, with their sharp suits on etc.

 

When if the truth be known there a bunch of dirty arse bastards, i dread to think what their houses are like.

 

Dirty arse civil servants!

:wink2:

Edited by Wacky Jnr
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Where I used to work a bloke used to manage to get a perfect stripe of shit running from the top of the toilet rim all the way down into the bowl. Now, he would have had to lift the seat to do this and it was a fairly regular occurence (about once a week). Fucking tramp.

16537[/snapback]

 

While we're on the subject, what sort of tramp sits there, picks their nose and then proceeds to wipe their excavations all over the toilet cubicle walls when theres fucking toilet paper right next to them?!

16546[/snapback]

 

Civil Servants, thats what sort of tramps do that. When i worked up Longbenton the cleaner who used to do the cleaning on my floor would get the same bus as me in the morning. She told me that the state some of the toilets were left in, especially the woman's, were nothing short of a fucking disgrace and the majority of these snotty fuckas swan around the place like butter wouldn't melt, with their sharp suits on etc.

 

When if the truth be known there a bunch of dirty arse bastards, i dread to think what their houses are like.

 

Dirty arse civil servants!

;)

16551[/snapback]

 

Got to agree with that assessment! :wink2:

 

You havent met Peasepud have you? Cos you've just described him to the absolute letter!

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After talking to some cleaners they were only to happy to inform me that the womens toilets were usually much worse than the blokes.

16569[/snapback]

 

Scary really, when you think that the average bloke spends most of his life trying to get down that area for some action

:wink2:

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After talking to some cleaners they were only to happy to inform me that the womens toilets were usually much worse than the blokes.

16569[/snapback]

 

Scary really, when you think that the average bloke spends most of his life trying to get down that area for some action

:wink2:

16572[/snapback]

 

Can't beat a bit of U-bend love!

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After talking to some cleaners they were only to happy to inform me that the womens toilets were usually much worse than the blokes.

16569[/snapback]

 

Scary really, when you think that the average bloke spends most of his life trying to get down that area for some action

:wink2:

16572[/snapback]

 

 

Like everything, the journey there is often better than the arrival ;)

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The 'no reaction' from the female members of the board says it all :wink2:

16588[/snapback]

 

Here's a reaction from a lady (yes, I am one before any funny fecker starts!!)

 

Personally I prefer to not take a dump at work. I prefer the comfort of my own bathroom. Last week at work one of the cleaners discovered that someone had been shitting in the waste bin in the ladies changing room toilet. The waste bin was to the side of the toilet so we were all pretty disgusted and baffled as to why it was the case. The culprit has not been found and signs have had to be put up in the loo asking that people only put unsoiled waste paper in the waste bins. How ridiculous is that? ;)

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