A look at our squad and club

[Ken 119]

Ramage would do a better job than Rozenhal.

 

Crimson what utter utter shite.

 

Rozenhal's fuck ups are boredering on Bramble status.

 

At least Ramage knows he's shit but will but the effort in regardless.

Oh...so that makes it all right then...

 

No, I'm saying he'd do a better job than Rozenhal.

Then I will have to go on record saying that that is bollocks. Ramage should be playing for Luton Town. Rozenhal on the other hand is a player who has some deficiencies but could transform given the time.

 

Into what, the fucking Elephant Man?

No, into a decent Premiership player. Ramage is a Championship player who should be playing for a team fighting to save there status in that competition.

[Tribal 0]

Ramage would do a better job than Rozenhal.

 

Crimson what utter utter shite.

 

Rozenhal's fuck ups are boredering on Bramble status.

 

At least Ramage knows he's shit but will but the effort in regardless.

Oh...so that makes it all right then...

 

No, I'm saying he'd do a better job than Rozenhal.

Then I will have to go on record saying that that is bollocks. Ramage should be playing for Luton Town. Rozenhal on the other hand is a player who has some deficiencies but could transform given the time.

 

Into what, the fucking Elephant Man?

No, into a decent Premiership player. Ramage is a Championship player who should be playing for a team fighting to save there status in that competition.

 

Serious?

[luckyluke 2]

I know you (Skol) are one of those who will never have a good word to say about Ameobi, but your rating of him is pretty harsh seeing as he was actually scoring goals the last time he was in the team, and can't get a game despite our forwards being bollocks.

[Guest alex]

Can't understand Shola being nowhere near the first team. He was on the bench and occasionally starting when we had a far better side than we do now, esp. under Robson. Not that I'm saying he's good enough but he'd be a decent option on the bench you'd think, especially when the likes of Viduka and Owen have been out injured.

[Holden McGroin 5191]

Can't understand Shola being nowhere near the first team. He was on the bench and occasionally starting when we had a far better side than we do now, esp. under Robson. Not that I'm saying he's good enough but he'd be a decent option on the bench you'd think, especially when the likes of Viduka and Owen have been out injured.

 

I think its a clear "fuck off" sign from BSA to Shola. Hint hint. nudge nudge. Off to Wolves you go.

[luckyluke 2]

Can't understand Shola being nowhere near the first team. He was on the bench and occasionally starting when we had a far better side than we do now, esp. under Robson. Not that I'm saying he's good enough but he'd be a decent option on the bench you'd think, especially when the likes of Viduka and Owen have been out injured.

 

I think its a clear "fuck off" sign from BSA to Shola. Hint hint. nudge nudge. Off to Wolves you go.

 

I though Allardyce rated Shola - didn't he refuse a bid from Roeder at Norwich for him?

[khay 8]

Can't understand Shola being nowhere near the first team. He was on the bench and occasionally starting when we had a far better side than we do now, esp. under Robson. Not that I'm saying he's good enough but he'd be a decent option on the bench you'd think, especially when the likes of Viduka and Owen have been out injured.

 

I think its a clear "fuck off" sign from BSA to Shola. Hint hint. nudge nudge. Off to Wolves you go.

 

I though Allardyce rated Shola - didn't he refuse a bid from Roeder at Norwich for him?

 

 

I think he rated him in the fact that Viduka and Owen like to get injured.

[Tribal 0]

Can't understand Shola being nowhere near the first team. He was on the bench and occasionally starting when we had a far better side than we do now, esp. under Robson. Not that I'm saying he's good enough but he'd be a decent option on the bench you'd think, especially when the likes of Viduka and Owen have been out injured.

 

He's never scored coming off the bench for us iirc, in that sense I don't think he's a decent option from the bench at all.

[Kid Dynamite 6187]

Even worse that he played Carroll ahead of him who proved he cant cut it a league down!

[Tribal 0]

Even worse that he played Carroll ahead of him who proved he cant cut it a league down!

 

One more goal than Shola this season.

[Guest alex]

Even worse that he played Carroll ahead of him who proved he cant cut it a league down!

Aye, he didn't exactly set the world alight on loan, but I still like the look of him. But you're right, re: what it says about Allardyce's view of Shola. I think Holden is right like.

[The Fish 9382]

It's weird really I've not really seen enough of Carrol and what I've seen hasn't hooked me up to the mains, but he's seems to be rated by "them what knows".

 

Expect him to do better than Chopra mind.

[tinofbeans 91]

my ratings

given 6

harper 6

 

enrique 5

faye 8

rozenhal 5

beye 8

taylor 6.5

 

barton 4

butt 7

zog 7

duff 6

milner 6.5 (would be higher if he could cross)

geremi 5.5

 

 

viduka 6

owen 5

martins 6

ameobi 5

[RlCO 0]

emre?

[The Fish 9382]

emre?

Nicole?

[Jimbo 133]

emre?

Nicole?

 

Papa ?

[Offshore Toon 0]

Decent list, Kets.

[sweetleftpeg 0]

Steven Taylor - Seems to have regressed and taken up Bramble's mantle of being the most reckless defender at the club. Yes, he's more than willing to walk over hot coals to stop us from conceeding a goal but he needs to calm down. Maybe the England call up went to his head? (5)

 

Aye, I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks this.

 

As for Rozehnal, every time I see him now I get this distant drum beat in my head before a leprechan appears shouting 'Boumsong! Boumsong!'

[Big TRon 0]

Obviously, this isn't completely objective. You've got to take into account my personal prejudices and my own expectations of players.

 

Using a scale of 1-10. 1 being Fumaca, 10 being a non-injured Woodgate and 5 being average.

 

Goalkeepers

Shay Given - In my opinion, still the best 'keeper in the league even if he has looked a bit shakier this season. His kicking is still gash and he still doesn't command his area as well as he should but he stops the ball going in the net when he's able to. Not really much more you can say about him (7/10)

 

Steve Harper - I'm still haunted by the memories of his short spell in the side during Given's injury last season but when BSA called upon him to play earlier this year he looked like the Harper everyone used to say would get into the England squad if he could hold down a first team place. I've never seen a man so happy to waste his career getting a sore arse on the Newcastle bench. Loyalty or lack of ambition? (6)

 

Tim Krul - I haven't seen him but a quick look on a Falkirk messageboard tells you that he's quite liked. It must be hard to carve out a reputation as a decent goalkeeper when your side is conceeding 4 and 5 on a regular basis. The fact he's sticking it out there for the next six months tells me it's a problem with the defence rather than him. (5)

 

Fraser Forster - He's from Hexham. There is no way he's as posh as his name suggests. (-)

 

Defenders

Stephen Carr - If Peggy Mitchell was our manager and not an East End landlady she'd have used her large, cockney gob to shout "Gerr'aaat my club!" at him a long time ago. An abortion of a defender who's main tactic seems to be backing off. (4)

 

Habib Beye - A brilliant signing in a position we sorely needed some investment in. Willing to get forward and support the attack, while he's competent at the back. He looked like he could go either way in his first few games but thankfully, he's shown his class. Gets an extra couple of points for lending his name to one of the best songs in living memory (8)

 

Peter Ramage - Whether it be through injury or through sheer shitness he hasn't been near the first team this season. I expect to see him playing in Yellow and Green before the end of 2008 (3)

 

David Edgar - It seems fashionable to bash our youngsters (see above), but from what i've seen of him he looks competent. Nothing special but worthy of being a squad player at least (5)

 

Steven Taylor - Seems to have regressed and taken up Bramble's mantle of being the most reckless defender at the club. Yes, he's more than willing to walk over hot coals to stop us from conceeding a goal but he needs to calm down. Maybe the England call up went to his head? (5)

 

David Rozehnal - Brilliant against Bolton, but has slowly gotten worse as the season has went on. Maybe the crowds reactions have got to him? I don't know, but it's a shame to see someone who quite clearly had potential to get better at the start of the season get much poorer. Him needing treatment yesterday after he shirked out of a 50/50 sums up his season so far. (4)

 

Cacapa - Started out being our best defender, had a complete 'mare against Pompy but has shown his level headedness and stepped back up. It's quite clear his confidence took at knock but he's shaken off the press' labels of Bramble mk. II and got on with it. (7)

 

Abdoulaye Faye - When we signed him I was at a bit of a loss. We seemed to have enough centre backs and enough centre midfielders so his purchase just smacked of BSA signing a player he quite fancied from his old club. I'm glad he did. The best signing of the season so far. I don't think he's had a bad game yet for us. Fingers crossed we'll get lucky with injuries and when the ANC finishes we can play both him and Cacapa (9)

 

Jose Enrique - Has managed to become the best ever Spaniard to have played for Newcastle while barely setting foot on the pitch. I'm confused as to why BSA seems to do everything in his power to avoid playing him as, along with Cacapa, he looked like the most complete defender in his first few games. He's got enough physically to deal with the Premiership and hasn't dropped any major clangers. We need to see more of him before we can judge him properly (6)

 

Midfielders

James Milner - Committed but i'm not convinced he's ever going to be good enough to be anything more than a half decent winger. His lack of pace and lack of a final ball mean he's frustrating to watch. I actually think Allardyce had a point playing him on the left as it meant he could cut in more, rather than stepover his way to the byline and cross right into the 'keepers hands. (6)

 

Geremi - Has proven at Real Madrid, Boro and Chelsea he's not a poor player, so why is he so shite for us? Just seems to vanish from games, only to reappear when a freekick needs booting into the wall. (4)

 

Emre - Excels at coming off the bench after 70 minutes when everyone knackered and looking half decent, then starting the week after and not getting a touch. I used to think it was bad luck but now I think he can join that long list of players who can't perform to their best because they don't get the time they need in the Premiership (5)

 

Joey Barton - Listen to him in an interview and he'd have you believe that he can't even play Monopoly without being asked to go to jail and not to collect his £200's in the process. Watch him on the pitch and he's a nasty little fucker. I was willing to forgive that as at Citeh he always looked like a nasty little fucker but with a bit of game. Like Geremi, he seems to have left that at his last club. (4)

 

Nicky Butt - I can't believe we nearly let him go. It would've been a disaster. Has for the past two seasons proved his worth by consistantly being the best midfielder at the club. If ever you could tell someone was from Man United's youth set up in the early 90s it's him. (9)

 

Charles N'Zogbia - If we've found out one thing this season it's that he's a good left back. We need to play him in in his prefered position more often, possibly even in the centre. He's one of the few players we've got that can take his man on. Hopefully BSA will take note that Enrique can play left back and let this lad do his thing. (7)

 

Damien Duff - It's baby steps for Damien. He had a shocker last year but in his few games back he's looked decent enough. If Sam can nurse him back to full fitness he could well play a large part in our season. (5)

 

James Troisi - Looks like an Australian Daniel Cordone. (-)

 

Strikers

Obafemi Martins - Patches where he can do no right are quickly becoming his trademark. There's no one else at the club i'd like to see suddenly become world class than him but I can't see it happening. He can't use his pace effectively, his first touch his none existant, his decision making is poor and his finishing seems to go to pot unless he's 30 yards out and needs to fire one like an exocet into the top corner. (6)

 

Michael Owen - Looks like he doesn't want to be here and who can blame him? The only world class striker we've currently got at this club but he's no use if he's injured or playing in a side which creates one decent chance a game? I'd like to see him stay and watch Allardyce build the team around him but that's doubtful (6)

 

Alan Smith - In the same boat as Milner. Committed, but not good enough. His stints in midfield have been awful and the fact he's yet to get off the mark can't be helping his campaign to become one of our first choice strikers. Destined to run around like a headless chicken in midfield getting booked until the end of time, methinks. (5)

 

Mark Viduka - I can see him and Owen carving out a patnership as they've both got the best footballing brains out of our strikers but in a side that doesn't create enough I can't see it happening any time soon. I'm shocked he's scored as many as he has for a player as immobile as he is in a side as inconsistant as we are. (6)

 

Shola Ameobi - "Tonight on Channel 4 a Faking It special, where Foluwashola Ameobi reveals how he managed to masquerade as a professional footballer for nearly 8 years without detection. Don't miss it!" (3)

 

Andy Carroll - His drinking exploits when out with the England u-19s make him sound like he could be another waster. (-)

 

And the others...

Sam Allardyce - Has both rightly and wrongly came under criticism from some of the fans. Some of his team selections have left me scratching my head in disbelief but some people seem to be more than willing to put the noose over his neck and open the trap door, giving the press another Newcastle based story that makes us look like fickle tossers. Should be kept for the rest of the season, and barring a minor miracle involving Jose Mourinho, Mike Ashley and a very persuasive phone call, given beyond that too. (5)

 

Chris Mort - Professional, quiet, smart and seems to be more than willing to build bridges with the fans to make this club one to be proud of. Some many worlds apart from our last incumbent it's frightening. (8)

 

Mike Ashley - The man with the money, and the most well worn Newcastle replica top in the world. All but cleared the debts, has came out of every take over rumour looking even more respectable and seems to have developed a genuine affection for the place. He's done no wrong yet but lets wait until next summer and see how eager he is to get out his cheque book. (8)

 

 

Would agree with most of it, don't think I am quite so enthusiastic about Butt or the Viduka/Owen strike force which lacks legs although no arguing with the quality.

[Kid Dynamite 6187]

Wouldnt give Faye 9 either. As i recall he had a couple of mares at CB and was subsequently dropped. Played 2 decent games in CM but i wouldnt be spunking my pants yet.

[Ketsbaia 0]

Wouldnt give Faye 9 either. As i recall he had a couple of mares at CB and was subsequently dropped. Played 2 decent games in CM but i wouldnt be spunking my pants yet.

 

I can't remember him having a nightmare and getting dropped. I can remember him getting injured, but that's about it.

[tinofbeans 91]

ah emre.

 

5.5

 

that will be all.

[Ketsbaia 0]

Goalkeepers

Shay Given - Became more and more inconsistant as the year went on and began playing more infrequently as niggling injuries set in. Is beginning to look less like the invincible Irishman we all knew and loved a few years ago. It's too early to write him off yet though (6/10)

 

Steve Harper - Done more than enough to start next season as our firm number one. He's been more than dependable, he's been great. Will he ever get that England call up he deserves or it it too late now? Who knows. (8)

 

Tim Krul - I've heard little of the lad since the last post (-)

 

Fraser Forster - See above (-)

 

Defenders

Stephen Carr - Bye, bye you below average midget. You'll not be missed (3)

 

Habib Beye - Player of the season by a country mile. Great going forward and solid at the back he's one of the few good things to come from the Allardyce era. A consumate professional who I wish was five or six years younger. (9)

 

Peter Ramage - See Carr, but replace midget with "lanky streak of jism" (3)

 

David Edgar - Has came in and did a job when needed. Certainly not amazing and probably wont make the grade but he's a squad player if nothing else. (5)

 

Steven Taylor - Over the past few games the venom i've felt the need to direct at him as dissipated somewhat as he's shown flashes of the Stevie T of old but he still has a long way to go. Firstly, he needs to be more consistant. Secondly, he needs to act like a professional both on the pitch when it comes to rolling around after committing a handball and off it with this contract lark (5)

 

David Rozehnal - The fact Lazio wanted nothing to do with him after his first game or two tells his own story. I do think he could've been a half decent player on the basis of his early performances but his head has went. (3)

 

Cacapa - Has been inconsistant with the occasional glimpse of class about him. I do think he can stay as a squad player and try and work his way back into the side once he recovers from his injury troubles but i'd be dissapointed if we didn't sign a better centre back this summer. (5)

 

Abdoulaye Faye - Been solid throughout the season. The prospect of both him and Woodgate had my mouth watering for all of the 15 minutes we were in for him. I'd keep him for certain, but like Beye I wish he was younger. (8)

 

Jose Enrique - The lads head was down, he was either on the bench of in the stands. He looked like £6 million wasted. Keegan comes in and does what he does. He puts a hand on his shoulder, puts faith in him and gives him a chance. Enrique pays him back by performing well, if not amazingly. I think he'll have a great year next season once he gets a full summer under his belt and his age means he can only really get better. (7)

 

Midfielders

James Milner - Like I said earlier, he's committed to the cause but he's certainly not the answer long term to our right side. Now we're playing 433 i'd like to see us move him into the middle as his long range shooting is much more effective than the bog standard stepover/cross act he pulls when out on the wing (6)

 

Geremi - Fat Sam's wet dream. He looks as if he does little but the stats seem to show him consistantly being our most accurate passer. He's did better since Keegan came in but I wouldn't stick with him next year. (6)

 

Emre - Get rid. He's done nothing wrong per se but I just can't fine a role for him in our squad anymore (4)

 

Joey Barton - Another player that has upped their game significantly since Keegan came in. Had one or two games where he looed shit, one or two where he looked average, one or two where he looked great....rinse and repeat, although the shit games are becoming less. (6)

 

Nicky Butt - I still love the man as much as I did when I wrote this earlier. His performance against the Mackems was immense - he made their middle five look like amatuers. Picks up the silver in the POTY stakes (8)

 

Charles N'Zogbia - Moody, uncommitted and pretty much gone. If ever there was a player who was on their way... (5)

 

Damien Duff - Another we need to purge from the squad. He looks shot and I can't ever see him getting back to the level he once was. (5)

 

James Troisi - Gone. (-)

 

Strikers

Obafemi Martins - One match he's our most dangerous player, looking like he could be a world class striker. The next you can barely tell he's on the pitch. I've knocked his tally up one notch for YouTube comments but i'll knock it back down if he doesn't become more consistant (7)

 

Michael Owen - I can't see him being here for much longer unfortunately which is a shame because since he started playing in the hole he's looked like the Michael Owen of old. Smart, fairly pacey and clinical infront of goal. 3rd in the POTY (8)

 

Alan Smith - Go now. Please. (3)

 

Mark Viduka - "No one stands still better than Mark Viduka..." was a common complaint earlier this season, now it's praise. Some of his flick ons for Owen are sublime (7)

 

Shola Ameobi - Sign for Stoke, you daft shite. You're not wanted here (2)

 

Andy Carroll - He's looked like a youngster when he's played. (-)

 

And the others...

Sam Allardyce Kevin Keegan - Lifted the fans and has put up with some immense pressure from the press. He's spoke his mind and fair play to him for that. The move towards 433 and putting Owen in the hole should be a sign to all he's not this tactically naive old man some want to paint him out to be (7)

 

Chris Mort - I still have nothing bad to say about him. He's came out and said what's needed to be said. Some people are intent on spinning his words to suit their own agenda but I quite like the lad. (8)

 

Mike Ashley - It's hard not to listen to the press murmurs of discontent between Keegan and Ashley. I for one don't expect managers and owners to be best mates and have a constant dialogue, that's what the chairman is for, but Keegan's comment about how they never talk was a bit unsettling. I'm still confident he'll get it right and he'll give a fair amount of money to spend in the summer. The deals for Modric and Woodgate say more than any Daily Mail article ever will (7)