Newcastle Forum

Pepto Abymsal’s Belligerent Bell Ends vs Eduardo’s Rotisserie Chooks - League Cup Semis 2nd Leg. Wed 4th Feb. 20:00 KO. 2-0 to The Peppers on aggro.

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Eddies thanks for the Millions, how’s the rat, Burns coming for you again, European heroes v Slots one hit wonders, it was all Klopps doing anyway, moaning Mary’s (Saturday 8pm)

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French fancy dan, ref bribing poodles v Eddies plan A walking wounded. Wednesday 28th Jan. 8pm KO. At that there France. (details added by friendly mod since OP is spacka daft)

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Newcastle United vs Aston Villa, Sunday 25th January 2026, 2pm, SJP

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Newcastle United vs PSV, Wednesday 21st January 2026, 8pm, SJP

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Wolverhampton Wanderers vs Newcastle United, Sunday 18th Jan 2026, 2pm, their place innit

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Eddie's exhausted entertainers v Pep's pricey primadonnas - Carabao Cup Semi-final first leg St. James' Park Tuesday 13th January Kick-off 8pm

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ross wilson...

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Eddie's injury time comeback spirit of King Kev entertainers v Eddie's bogey team - FA Cup, Sat 10-Jan 3pm

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Howe’s stick it to Lee “onslaught” Ryder and his loyal puntaz v Leeds. St. James' Park Wednesday 7th January Kick-off 8.15pm

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Howe’s cultist happy clappers v Palace Sun 04-Jan 3pm

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january's fixtures....

Parker’s relegation certainties v Eddie’s midtable away defeat specialists. Tuesday 30th December Kick-off 7.30pm

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Amorim’s Arse Wipes v Eddies Electric Eleven - 26th Dec - 20:00 KO

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Eddies Inconsistent Magpies v Enzos Inconsistent Cockney wide boys - Sat 20th Dec 12:30 KO

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Eddie Howe's cup holding weekend no shows v Jacksonville Jaguars owner's cottagers

Eddie’s Black and White Bottlers v Marco’s White and Black Cheese and Wine Eaters - Wed 17th Dec - 20:15 GMT

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I assume they're not going to customise the bar in our honour this time marra VS Eddie Howes constantly nackered mags at work

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The Toontastic Discord

A team Florian Wirtz used to be the best player for so they must be shit vs Eddie Howes 70 minute mags

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It's the Eddie Howe Derby, The Scott Parker Derby, The Paul Gascoigne Derby but more importantly...

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Gemill’s fault

Eddie Howes back monkey destroying away match specialists vs Thomas Franks...they're not thomas franks, they hate him (spurs)

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David Moyes Everton vs Newcastle underperforming in the league but doing alright in europe - Thats right its 2004 again

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fuck your namby pamby, drogbaless la marseillaise v general howe's relentless march with his fearless young defenders.

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Donald Trump and FIFA bring you the World Cup 2026

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howe's team seemingly on a spiral of ever decreasing circles v guardiola's resurgent CITY who we always do so well against. get in, can't wait for this one! :

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Arrogant Set Piece Keith's Colony of Cockneys vs Sexy Tindall's 6 Foot + Emerald Green Monsters

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The green kit

King Eddie's Faultering Press Retractors vs Bilbao Black Cats & The Williams Brothers

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Wor Eddie's Laced Up Mags v Cally Massive Willy Wilsons Blowing Bubble 'Ammers

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Eddie's Inconsistent, who knows who's gonna turn up Mags v Franks Romero and Juliet

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Wolte's Fucking Flicking Magic Mags v Traoré 'roid heed Full-Ham

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Eddie Stuttering Mags v Is You Portugesehh Benfica

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iam (Willie) McFaul

Brighton vs Newcastle United

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Newcastle United vs Nottingham Forest

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Union SG (who?) vs Newcastle United

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Eddie Howe's Glorious Get Into Them Mags vs Thomas Partey's Former Club

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Newcastle United vs Bradford City

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