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It's basically just an Enid Blyton book with an Irvine Welsh short story shoe-horned in the middle tbf.

To be honest I've not heard too much about what happened between the two JPs at the training ground but I got increasingly frustrated with Joao's attitude at times and with at least three stupid attempts at an elbow where he was lucky not to get sent off all three times. (We'd clawed ourselves back into a game at Brenford after Mitoma came on as a sub and then Joao threw our chances away stupidly). He's young but he had those two earlier in the season let-offs to learn from. He's got the ability, there's no dispute there, but Joao is never far away from censure. I just wish we could get Evan Ferguson back on track because he's more of a goalscorer but has seriously lost his way. But that's another story. Thanks for the welcome back , I really hope you do well this season - my favourite away game.

Absolutely ridiculous, wasn't it?

Amen. One thing this board has taught me over the years is this truism. "if we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back".

We haven't negotiated for a cunt since he got here so I agree. It'll probably speed them up a bit.

Fair question

We do and certainly don't want to see him leave. He's been great this season (his 3rd) and has improved year on year. A really top defender who gives no quarter and is excellent on the ball. We've just bought 2 new defenders one of which I suspect will be a starter from the get-go. As an aside I reckon most Albion fans won't mind you taking Joao Pedro. I certainly won't.

Would it be too harsh to say he looks like a Down’s syndrome Danny Dyer?

Im hoping the silence on transfers is because we are so busy trying to get deals done with players who aren't on the radar of the media. Throw them a few bones to chuck them off the scent while they get on with bringing in some surprise talent. That Marveaux character is half right when he's talking about bringing talent to develop in. We did that with Minteh and turned a tidy profit. We probably need to do it more often but again it's convincing players to come here. It seems that the likes of Chelsea can simply contact an agent and a kid is lining himself up a bedsit on the Kings Road to join the ranks of players who will hardly get a game.

Straight Uno reverse - send the goalie back and bring the geordie maradona home.

McGhee looks like he’s just about to decapitate that lad on the deck

This is from the replies to the article. This Rudd character makes a decent point about ending up where we were last summer but as usual with these types fails to offer an alternative policy. To me If Isak has another good season then he might well be off; if we get Pedro and he does well he'll be bedded in, Osula will have another year under his belt and we can then try to bring a younger striker in with the Isak money...we've got to be creative, we're not a huge name on the continent and don't pay the highest wages... https://bsky.app/profile/ruddymarveaux-lous.bsky.social/post/3lrpgefq3a22x

Fucking hell Blastronaut. Sounds like the start of a novel explaining the origins of a serial killer.

The ‘Hot Mitch summer’.

Jobe Bellingham came off bench for Dortmand in CWC tonight and according to the experts on RTG was head and shoulders the best player and will be a massive miss in PL

The UK is sending the RAF so that we too might entangle ourselves in this chaos. Some little quisling in the Labour cabinet called John Healey has claimed we're moving planes over there to 'protect our assets in Cyprus from Iran' but then added 'we may also support our allies'. There is going to be no persuading me to vote for Labour if they get us mixed up in regime change in Iran, mind.

That would be a class signing, Brighton fans think he is future captain material

The fucking irony btw if we end up signing van Hecke months after having a spat with Gordon considering Gordon himself signed for us a few months after having a spat with Schar

It’s also only the 17th of June. We’ve had a bit of a flurry of activity because of this CWC farce but it’s not usual for this time of year

Looking at the pic of his Mrs, his surname must be doing some heavy lifting.

Wonderful tribute to errr…IRELAND Which I think is how they’ll try and spin it. A certain Mr Fender was filming for Newcastle United in the irish centre the other week…

Hearse was right there

it's just too much football. it's the tournament no one wanted

Yeah, apologies, you're right. I was getting mixed up with the game 2 seasons later where they wore an equally garish kit....

Must've been the season KK took over they beat us, sure they had a similar strip? Think it was one of the games in a bad run after KK's good start where we went to shit?

Not quite the same support in Atlanta for Chelsea v LA.

Too many people want the conclusion to be "because they were Asian" and they don't/won't like the conclusion of past reports and probably this one which is "because the victims don't matter". As I've said before see also Hillsborough/Aberfan/Grenfell etc, etc,

FTFL:DRC

I am sincerely sorry you experienced this. Sounds like it must have been devastating to see as a child... not sure I could have handled it personally. You've got to wonder at the shit people go through sometimes.

This audit they've just done has stipulated that we need a new inquiry to address a few different things that, with the exception of one around the definition of rape, were already in the previous inquiries. Even the one 10 years ago - and yes, including the ethnicity tracking stuff and whatever. If we need an inquiry into anything, it's why the Tories did fuck all about this for the entire time they were in power.

My childhood was basically that film "Stand By Me". A mostly quiet and isolated wee ex-mining village where everyone knew everyone, we all kicked about together and went on daft escapades to the woods, local quarry, or played hide and seek grounds of the chipboard factory. Pissed off all the local farmers by moving all the hay-bails around and building what were probably incredibly unsafe structures from them. We would nick ropes and nets from the factory use them to make hammocks and zip-lines deep in the woods, or "absaile" down the cliffs at the quarry. Half the time there would be some random stray dog along for the adventure with us, we'd know the dogs name and roughly what house it lived at, but nobody knew fuck all about it's owners. Suburban childhood bliss until we stumbled on the body of a body of woman in one of those fields. Turned out she'd had a drunken arguement with her partner, he'd stabbed her 19 times and moved her body to the field in a wheelie bin. We were 10. Wish I could say I was joking. It was probably a year or so after that our neighbour introduced me to SLF and gave me a copy of some dodgy Guns N Roses bootleg. Absolute hero. That was childhood. The teenage years were a different thing entirely.

Rashford motivated and working hard in the gym for next season. With that nose he could smell his Sunday dinner on Tuesday!

Likewise, impossible to dislike Brighton apart from when you're beating us

Starmer helping a dementia sufferer whilst their lot wanted to let them all die in 2020.

They’ve got some nice plain Germany stuff on the adidas website/app for the 125th anniversary of their national team

Not sure how I feel about them only doing the proper badge (in colour) on the home kits. Away and 3rd have recently had the 2 tone badge based on the colour of the kit. Looks half finished.

He did the same right in front of us at Barnsley that season and the entire away end fucking annihilated him

https://tf1892.substack.com/p/the-club-world-cup-pif-and-the-end Basically funded by PIF on the sly according to this.

During the divi 2 run in that ended with that wish should not be named but did us more good than harm in the long run... Was at this a couple of weeks later in the home end 😱 I think a young @Howmanheyman was lucky enough to get a ticket in the away section .. Quinn was playing on one leg, Scotty scored after 10 mins which is a fuckin long time to keep quiet 😆

Chris Waugh, in many ways THE FORGOTTEN WAUGH 😆✊ There is a common trait connecting the majority of Newcastle United’s (known) transfer targets. Some supporters are perplexed — given the lack of a senior signing and Eddie Howe’s end-of-season warning that Newcastle needed to act “very quickly” — by what is perceived to be the head coach’s unbending desire to acquire Premier League-based players. The inference is that Howe has an apparent reluctance to bring in foreign imports this summer. Take @alanofthenorth on Bluesky: “Why is a club that successfully signed (Alexander) Isak, (Bruno) Guimaraes and (Sandro) Tonali now so dead-set on PL (Premier League) additions, only to then complain when these are too expensive and we don’t sign anybody.” The last point refers to Newcastle’s frustration at what they deem to be excessive early benchmarking of targets. They expect prices to come down, but the riposte of some frustrated supporters is that, if the fees are too high domestically, look to the Continent. It appears a fair response, given Marc Guehi (Crystal Palace), Joao Pedro (Brighton), James Trafford (Burnley), Antoine Semenyo (Bournemouth), Bryan Mbeumo (Brentford) and Anthony Elanga (Nottingham Forest) play in England and Newcastle have yet to agree a fee — or make a bid — for any, partly due to present asking prices. But those with knowledge of Newcastle’s transfer blueprint contest the hypothesis that Howe has a preoccupation with Premier League players, even if the likelihood is that the bulk of summer recruits will come from domestic clubs. For Howe, they stress, it is about the right player at the right price. Four of Howe’s six most-expensive signings came from Europe for a combined £183million ($248m), including the top two: Isak (a club-record £60m) and Tonali (£55m). Alongside Guimaraes and Sven Botman, they have justified the significant investment. Newcastle's post-takeover signings PlayerSigned fromCost Alexander Isak Real Sociedad £60m Sandro Tonali AC Milan £55m Anthony Gordon Everton £40m Harvey Barnes Leicester City £38m Bruno Guimaraes Lyon £38m Sven Botman Lille £32m Tino Livramento Southampton £31m Lewis Hall Chelsea £28m Chris Wood Burnley £25m Odysseas Vlachodimos Nottingham Forest £21m Matt Targett Aston Villa £15m Dan Burn Brighton & Hove Albion £13m Kieran Trippier Atletico Madrid £12m Nick Pope Burnley £11m William Osula Sheffield United £10m Although only five of the 15 players signed for a fee have been acquired from abroad, which drops to four when already-Premier League-experienced Kieran Trippier is discounted, that quartet accounts for almost 45 per cent of Newcastle’s post-takeover expenditure (once goalkeeper Odysseas Vlachodimos’ £20million paper value is excluded). When it comes to this summer, the word “known” is important in the opening line. Newcastle’s desired list extends beyond those in the public domain and the insistence is that Howe has been actively discussing overseas-based players as recently as the past few days, including centre-backs and attackers (while Lille goalkeeper Lucas Chevalier is a potential alternative to Trafford). Their identities remain concealed, much to the delight of some insiders, given Newcastle swooped and successfully signed Tonali and Isak with little media preamble. In three of the first four post-takeover windows — which preceded the three successive trading periods in which Newcastle were unable to make first-XI signings due to the Premier League’s profit and sustainability rules (PSR) — at least one overseas acquisition was made: Guimaraes in January 2022; Isak and Botman in that summer; Tonali a year later. Regardless, the premise put forward by some Newcastle fans is not inaccurate. Most, if not even possibly all, of Newcastle’s summer additions may still arrive from English clubs. But, again, the thesis that Newcastle will do so because Howe has an unhealthy predilection for those who have played in England would be strongly disputed by the head coach. The claim irks him because it is, he believes, built on faulty assumptions. When faced with a recruitment call which directly pits a Premier League-experienced player against someone who has never played in England’s top flight, the former often wins out in Howe’s mind. The Premier League is unique, and those who have shown they can perform in the division carry less risk. Yet that is merely one factor in Howe’s decision-making. When Guimaraes, Botman, Isak and Tonali were proposed, Premier League-hardened alternatives were also floated — some of which would have been cheaper — but Howe pushed for those four. They were deemed to be the right players at the right price. For Isak, Newcastle spent more than they intended to, at Howe’s behest. With Tonali, a senior source, speaking on condition of anonymity to protect relationships, stressed in 2023 that the “stars had aligned”, with Milan’s need to sell and Newcastle’s opportunism combining to secure what now appears a knockdown price (even considering his 10-month betting suspension). In each case, Newcastle took a calculated gamble. Every transfer carries uncertainty, but there is an increased risk when players move country, especially when they have never played in the Premier League before. Some in recruitment circles also dispute the theory that signing European players is significantly cheaper than signing Premier League players in this market. In some circumstances, that is true. Manchester City spending £46.3million on Tijjani Reijnders and £34m on Rayan Cherki looks excellent business. But value is not as easily discoverable as it once was. Florian Wirtz is an outstanding talent, but £116million would represent a British-record fee should he move to Liverpool from Bayer Leverkusen as expected, while Olympiacos have got £29.6m from Brighton for Charalampos Kostoulas, who is highly rated but is 18 and has only made 35 senior appearances. Such figures suggest European clubs are standing firmer against the richest league. Those deals may represent good value in time, but Newcastle’s PSR constraints mean they have to limit risk wherever possible. Take Hugo Ekitike, a player Newcastle tried to sign in January 2022. Eintracht Frankfurt are reportedly holding out for €100million (£85m) for him this summer. Newcastle still admire Ekitike, yet do not feel they can countenance such a fee for an admittedly high-quality player, but one who has yet to perform in England. Joao Pedro may be a less-sexy name — and may still prove expensive — but the suspicion is he would cost less than Ekitike, even if no asking price has been set by Brighton. Newcastle have found wages a stumbling block. They admire players at Champions League clubs across Europe, but their salaries would place them among (or above) Newcastle’s highest earners. It is about balance. Most clubs blend domestic signings with imports. Manchester City (Rayan Ait-Nouri) and Liverpool (reportedly pursuing Milos Kerkez) are shopping closer to home, too. Howe’s Newcastle have been slanted more towards domestic than overseas acquisitions. Or have Newcastle been more risk-averse than others? That is the feeling of some who have worked with Howe, and may have contributed to last year’s executive-level restructure and appointment of Paul Mitchell as sporting director — but their success rate is high. Intra-Premier League acquisitions have often, at the time, been viewed with a certain snootiness. Anthony Gordon (Everton), Tino Livramento (Southampton), Lewis Hall (Chelsea), Dan Burn (Brighton) and Nick Pope (Burnley) were received as underwhelming signings but have blossomed. The expectation is that such a trend will continue. With Newcastle having failed to strengthen the starting line-up for two years, more than ever do they require players who have the best-possible chance of making an immediate difference. Much of Newcastle’s incoming business probably will involve Premier League-experienced players, but that is not the same as Howe saying no to overseas imports. He wants quality and he wants to mitigate risk, so that requires a mixture of foreign and domestic acquisitions. Just as has been the case throughout his tenure.

Going to San Sebastián on Thursday, want your jaw testing?

There is every chance he doesn't want to say too much in case a doylem (not naming names, but he's from Yorkshire) misconstrues it

LB? Not sure TBH

"Ah think someone is very close to ordering a Moothful of Ryder Knuckle off the 'Be very careful Menu'. Capiche wor kid?"

"I'm your father, Lewk." "NOOOOOooooooo! Mam said me dad is Mr Jenkins who keyps coming around to fix mam's washing machine every weyk."

🤣

The good news is if you happen to catch your reflection and throw up on yourself it's likely to be an improvement.

Newcastle Upon Tyne 1917