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Have these QCs not seen that Luke Edwards has called this saga over?

My old man has days, at the most, left. Good luck to anyone trying to stop me seeing him. It’ll be The Rule Of Five.… Five Knuckles.… I’ll hit them

Cheers guys. It was a shock, but I can't really complain too much. He was 84 and lived longer than I thought. He's been knackered last 18 months with his health and with all this shite he's not been out the house since Feb. What fucking life is that for someone. You've got to take the positives, he went pretty quick and didn't suffer. He could have easily been in a hospice or the like. He got to see Leeds promoted so that's one thing, but he was still gutted I was a mag

Today just a year ago I was making the dream of my life come true and I was able to meet you (Yes... I was the first to enter the stadium)

I'd imagine his suits are just like his fucking jeans.....

I remember a number of their fans banging on about how much better than S Longstaff he is, obviously without having met his parents.

Mixed. Found a lump on my ribs (got a scan this weekend), think I might have flu too. I’ve been rough as fuck for a couple of days but none of the stated corona symptoms. House is upside down from all the work, still waiting on planning permission to do the major work because it’s a conservation area and planning departments are shitholes full of jobsworths. On the flip side my old man has finished his cancer treatment and it’s looking positive so far, and I’ve been offered a director level role within a different part of the group I currently work for. Less stress, more interesting work and more money. Look after yourselves

This is what separates your Ryders from your Caulkins.

Gloom still too drunk to realise he’s posting in the wrong thread.

Because they arrr

my head's in a fucking turmoil here. over the last decade and a bit i've wished ashley all manner of hideous deaths including falling in a skip full of razor wire, being sucked in to a jet engine and having a hellfire missile land on his head. the sort of things really that the sciptwriters of hostel and saw might baulk at. now i find myself fully on board with the loveable fat cunt. go on mikey.... bankrupt the premier league and masters and his mates, the fucking corrupt twats.

The Knight: "Archra, err...Archo.....Artcraft, err....Lazaar! Alreet wor kid? You're looking in good shape, kidda! Think you've a a great chance of getting in the side next season, son. It's Lee, Lee Ryder by the way, top reporter on all things NUFC from the evening chronicle, you might've heard the other players mentioning me? Anyways, do you fancy a quick interview then mebbees meet up once a month for a chat?" Achraf Lazaar: "I'm really sorry, but Lee Marshall sorts out the interviews for players." The Knight: "Nee bother, young'un."

CT’s fantasy shag iirc

I just imagine he spends his time hanging about his utility room on the back of the house wearing a slightly undersized shirt waiting until his neighbor goes into the garden, then as soon as his neighbor is 4 steps into the garden he bursts out the door ”eeee y’alright Dave, D’ya believe the weather” an under the breath fuckin hell from Dave before “how’s it going Mark, yeah nice weather, anyway mate I’m a bit busy....” ”tis isn’t it, anyhoo I’ve been noticing you’ve been planting some things near the fence and I just want you to know you might be infringing on my property the way they hang over the fence, not my complaint Dave! You know me, never a problem, haha no it’s her in doors was mentioning it while we watched our soaps on the telly” basically I reckon he’s a cunt.

Searing analysis

hoy carl, when essembee speaks you'd best be listening. he had his martins laces confiscated more times than all the other boot boys on the leazes end put together. he also wrote the lyrics for 'you're going home in a fucking ambulance' he's getting on a bit now, but i salute him.

It’s come to something on here when a lad can’t go to York and pick up a delivery of used knickers without getting the piss taken mercilessly.

Let’s hope your source is as reliable as usual then

He'll play up front if Wilson's parents turn out to be wrong'uns.

Tbf, it does take a while to settle.

Speaking of which....

This is the opposite of the Gazza thread - I open it hoping the cunt is dead.

Does IPA stand for “Injury prone arsehole”?

Well, at least the lack of calories isn't affecting your mood.

Must be the lack of meat fucking with your faculties. A veggie that can't do maths, the arcade creeper, and the Mexican Viagra muncher trying to tell me what I can and can't eat. Absolute fucking liberty.

It will if you stop posting

One of the changes in my Dad a few days before he lost consciousness was a personality shift - my old man has always been an absolute gent, I’d never heard him swear more than the odd “bloody”, usually when the Tories pissed him off, and he was as polite as they come, to all and sundry. Anyway, he’d come back in to contact with some old school friends, one of which was an old girlfriend who’d left him when he did his National Service in 1953, and ended up marrying one of his former school friends- she’s been widowed for some years. He decided to ring her, was having a fairly normal chat, then asked her, out of the blue, who was the best in bed- him or the old mate, her now-dead husband. When she answered “ both equally good” I think he took it as a come-on, and wanted to be taken over to hers so he could “visit” her.… …85, on his last legs, and wanting a booty call. Fucking superstar.

Honestly if Gandalf the Tramp buys the mackems they’ll in league two before you can say “why’s that schoolgirl getting in that strangers Land Rover?”

Oh so now the Tories want us to be more German

He’s never been the same since losing Remi Streete as his nark.

Nice of Brewcey to give us a reminder of what a snide, arse licking cunt of a man he is

Sounds like a shambles

One thing annoys me about Hayden is that little beard. He looks like he should be doing beat poetry.

I hear he bought from a dyslexic online chemist and ended up with a batch of Kamara pills. Unbelievable Jeff.

'The road to Wembley pull out in the evening chronicle tomorrow starts off with a preview of Blackburn Rovers at home and a date with former Magpie starlet and young Geordie, Adam Armstrong with the incentive of a trip to play a certain Joseph Barton once of the parish of the cathedral on the hill and wearer of THAT tache when he scored against Aston Villa in the revenge 6-0 dribbling following the relegation 'Sob on the Tyne' - Gate. Also read what former NUFC and Blackburn striker Louis Saha makes of the tie.'

Anyone want to see a black Alan Barnes? Thought so

Poor Peter.