Leaderboard

just got home. there was a thatchers in the fridge, rolled a single skinner sat in the back.garden looking at the full moon and thinking life is fucking wonderful.

RIP Mrs Fist. Bit sick to get the kid involved though.

Yesterday I told you that audios of the owners of Valencia are leaking. Okay. One leaked last night. In it, Anyl Murthy (the owner) says that Valencia is a beautiful city, but that they don't know how to export the club's brand. And for comparison, he says: 'Newcastle is a shitty city. But on the other hand, the club, at the sponsorship level, knows how to move'. This gentleman hasn't been eating at Greggs.

The Karate Flid.

'But jaysus, we don't even have a table and chair' 'Sure nip back to the 1980's and grab one from the local primary school'

"5 is a bit excessive, I think it might be 5" (safety )

I loved this match, I love this club (feels like ours again at long fucking last), and I love this team. I don't care if we ever win anything, this is what I wanted us to be again and it's back already. Just reading through the Arsenal forum match thread and they're all sat there laughing about Joelinton being our biggest weakness, how they've got nothing to worry about etc. Then the shock hits as they can't get the fucking ball. "Newcastle won't keep up this intensity, the crowd will shout themselves out, we just need to survive this then professionally dispose of them". Then we scored and they were all talking about how we were going to park the bus More stunned silence follows as they still can't get anything going and we go on to get a second. We're not some lower league makeweight happy to even be at the same table as you, Arsenal fans, you condescending pricks. When you come up here we absolutely will be going for the win, and you're gonna have to dig a lot fucking deeper than you just did to walk way with anything at all. Or you're going to get battered up and down the pitch, as you just were. Beautiful stuff, I love it. Great way to sign off the season and a shot across the fucking bow for the rest of the league.

F U C K I N G

Cat’s eyes for me like

It’s absolutely disgusting that you can just try and buy success like this.

Paqueta a done deal? If he signs can we call him Tudor?

At my Dad’s funeral, because we followed the rules in place at the time, we were allowed 15 people inside for the service. That meant that not all of his family could attend- some of his elder grandchildren volunteered to stay outside so that the younger ones could attend. I was full of admiration for them then, but I’m fucking raging now, because we were played.… us and hundreds of thousands of other families who had to make the same incredibly hard decisions, and those who weren’t allowed to be present with their loved ones in their last moments. My dad refused to go in to hospital at the end for that very reason - he didn’t want to die alone. It came at a cost, as his last days were, frankly, fucking horrendous, but he had his family with him when he went. I know Renton wasn’t able to be with his sister when she passed away, because he followed the rules like the rest of us, as hard as that was to do. The fact Johnson hasn’t got the fucking honour or courage to stand down from his position now that he’s been exposed is no surprise at all, but it doesn’t stop my incandescent anger at him and his sycophantic cronies- I’ll never forget this, and I sincerely hope nobody else who was made a mug by him does either. I wish only the worst of everything for him.

Eddie are you ok, are you ok, Eddie. Yes he is because this bad arse mofo is aiming for Yo-rope mother fucker. Heeeeeeee heeeeeeeee

No, we still think it and you are bad you bacon munching melt.

I love the bit where it dawns on them our displays are actually thought out. Maybe it’s because it wasn’t hastily ripped off our rivals a few week before, fucking trampy cunts. I’ve not checked but have any of the following threads been created yet? ”eeeeeyah marras do I microwave my Herons brand lasagne at home, or just sit and fart on it the whole bus ride down, want to make sure the cheese is extra melty, yi knaar a classy touch” ”just a tip from club legend Will Storey, if you pour your pot noodles directly into your coat pocket the speccys on the gates at Wembley won’t confiscate it. Added bonus that it gets you warm and gets rid of the smell from a night kipping under the bus we drove down in. FTM.”

He wears a coat when it's 15c outside.

Erm seriously?

I do have to say though that the Jamal Khashoggi jigsaw set for sale in the club shop might be in bad taste.

More about her here

FFS how many Longstaff brothers are there?

After getting everyone invested in Everton's demise this IS NOT ON! Least you can do is keep it up till there's mathematical possibility ffs.

'Cause Wood's running into space But ASM finding him is against all odds At least Schär's got a nice face

I'll get you started: TAKE A LOOK AT E HOWE

Do you think that deep down he regrets leaving Everton?

Remember those 2-3 weeks post takeover he remained where the pundits were all adamant that he deserved a chance, and then when they decided it was obvious the owners would replace him they began to say it was a hugely disrespectful to have Bruce do his job while the owners figured things out . It simply wasn’t fair to Bruce as it was embarrassing him having to do what he was paid for (or pretend he was doing what he was paid for) when everyone knew it was temporary. The fucking mental gymnastics the pundits leap through to support this shambles of a bloke. It’s always also worth noting he was an even bigger disgrace post takeover iirc, they trained (somehow) less than before the takeover and he just completely gave up on the games he managed. He’s a fucking disgrace tbh, I’m still shocked West Brom hired him.

oh god

I was 28 when I said this 😭

The simple things like this make all the difference. Owners to be proud of.

Couldn't resist.....

Might get myself a white & green top with BIN SALMAN 85 on the back because I’m so sportswashed baby.

Looks like someone put Oscar the Grouch in a blender.

Aye, I think it's in St. Paul's Letter to the Corinthians somewhere.

I have to correct myself. I’d find it most hilarious if we played him, won 7-0 to send Burnley down but Burnley got awarded the win because of us fielding an ineligible player, leading to either Everton or Leeds getting relegated.

Daft Twat.

One of the lads my son plays with was going to reserve game near the start of the season. The lad had his Wallsend Boys Club trackie top on. Anyway Elliot Anderson came up to them, started chatting and saying he used to play for Wallsend and got his photo taken with the lad etc. The dad was saying Anderson seems like a lovely lad. Obviously that’s just an anecdote that doesn’t prove a lot but it suggests he’s got a decent head on his shoulders. I know what he’s done at Bristol Rovers doesn’t mean he’s ready to walk into the first team but, like others have said, it’s great to hear about a loanee doing well at another club for once. It would be brilliant to see a local lad make the grade here though. It’s been far too long since that’s happened

Everton finishing 18th but not being relegated because Chelsea can’t get a PL license would be worth it all just to see Gemmill’s tears.

15 in a row FTM

Boldon man arrested after photograph emerges of sex with a hoover after a random PC check up at a Washington Currys outlet.

We drove past each other this morning about six o'clock both on our way to work. We gave each a mutually appreciative, manly nod, it was clearly a meeting of minds on grandstand road, He truly understood that there are Adam Pearson's in this world, waiting for you with his camera out, gurning like a dribbling goon with a real and present danger of giving you covid but there's also the HMHM's at Newcastle and that's what clearly makes his job worthwhile.......