MattM4

"Goals in first 8 Premier League appearances" http://t.co/EmtPmpkN #nufc #NoMalo

"Good luck battling the demented sense of righteous entitlement which seems to have hopelessly crippled your sense of reason" #WeeklyWipe

"HANDBALL!" learn a new word Norwich fans. #nufc #ncfc

"I couldn't find any suitcases so I put all your shit in garbage bags" #Flight

"I don't know who you are, but you're about to get chlamydia." #TheLeague http://t.co/nJwmIRUP

"I don't want this to sound harsh, but everything that comes out of her mouth is a lie. Everything that goes into it is a dick." #ThisIs40

"If you film anybody long enough, they're going to do something stupid. It's only human natural" #theoffice http://t.co/yD182ME7Rc

"It is the height of man's arrogance to presume what Jesus would vote for" #dailyshow

"It wasn't me. Why does everyone always think it's me?" #HIMYM http://t.co/NaEek2Kl

"It's sort of sticking a plaster over a hole or something and the plaster comes off. It's a problem again." - Mark Twain Pilkington

"It's the perfect plan. So inspired, so devious yet so simple." #seinfeld http://t.co/vJoltOVd2y

"Jabby jab! Excellent... next day comeback. Well done, Costanza" #dailyshow http://t.co/igvCWTqa

"Jason Prior's scored to make it 3-1 to #nufc." Amazing stuff! Go #JP9

"Karl Vs Steve" - XFM Compilation http://t.co/ap2aqJXG

"Like the fascist soup vendor used to say, I'm afraid that I am out of delicious soup." #dailyshow

"Liverpool express racism concerns" ... what, that there isn't enough of it? #lfc #klanfield

"Look at you, you're like a young Alan Shearer! But handsome." #Hebburn

"Looking back it was strange how the cops never showed up." #maxpayne3quotes

"Milner wary of Balotelli threat" http://t.co/jLYAT71r Ha! He should be wary of everyone. I certainly doubt Italy are wary of him #eng #ita

"My sister had pony, my cousin had pony. So, what's wrong with that?" #seinfeld http://t.co/gqfxgadyf5

"Nahhh, no way he hit the crossbar, no way. Nah" http://t.co/vNigB29G #nufc

"That's not playing an instrument! That's like blowing into a toilet!" http://t.co/BmHwjGBvE4

"Unbelievably, David Beckham doesn't step up"... Not really given how terrible he is at penalty taking #MLScup #bbcfootball

"We just had sex in the cab on the way over here" - "In the back of a cab?" - "In the back of her body!" #TheLeagu http://t.co/5uV9zAqb

"Whatever the hell they were arguing about, it was time for me to add my two cents." #maxpayne3quotes