ToonArmyMIA
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Posts posted by ToonArmyMIA
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Thought this excellent photo of Tiote looks a bit like an opportunity for some photoshop fun:
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They've also had their strikers out injured for long periods, to be fair.
At least they've got more than decent options up front, regardless of whether they've been injured or not. I wouldn't say no to Johnson, Zamora and Dembele.
true. looks like we'll be playing Kevin "10 goals" Nolan up front then
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Sunderland have the worst goal difference of any team
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ridiculous that we let three players go and brought in only one when the squad was already wafter thin.
i feel like deadman right now. if i saw ashley i don't think i'd be able to sto myself sticking one on him
And me.
Furthermore, if I ever required my professional assistance, I would be extremely reluctant to actually keep him alive after knocking him out (for which, my preferred induction would be that of Vinnie Jones in Lock Stock rather than one involving drugs).
Although I might not have much choice in the matter - he has the kind of body shape, neck and, I'd wager functional capacity that gives anaesthetists nightmares.
The fat fucking cunt.
Do we have an option to recall Routledge in the loan deal?
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So our senior players get poached off/ leave in the summer, remains of the 35 mil get spent replacing them with substandard alternatives with high prices as teams know we are desperate - and we rely on Lua Lua and Ranger for the start of next season through til January - where the person who outperforms gets sold.
My worst nightmare
Mine is Ashley selling Barton, Tiote and Enrique in summer. Then Pardew bemoans luck at finding suitable replacement with 70+ mil in Ashley's pie fund
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We might struggle to get 40 points. Having no goals from the front men means you lose matches you should have drawn and draw matches you should have won.
I think our defence is key to staying up, which means Tiote staying fit & out of trouble till the end of the season. Cos I can't see us scoring more than one goal in a match based on the Fulham performance.
thats Fulham's tactic. Average a goal or less per game, but they're also 4th best defense currently in league (on form)
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Cant blame him to be honest... if true.
can't say i'm surprised if true. what sort of message did jan send to the players?
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has refused to sign his contract and is now waiting to see what develops seemingly.
source?
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40 points should be enough. bottom 3 teams will need to win more games than theyve won all season to get to 40. Still, it will be squeaky bum time but if we can manage to pick up a few points in the run of games after Arsenal we'll be ok.
Form guide says it all. Blackpool in free-fall.
Pts home Pts Away Last 6
10 Newcastle United 9 4 8
11 Aston Villa 7 5 8
12 West Ham United 8 8 8
13 Stoke City 10 7 6
14 Birmingham City 7 5 6
15 Everton 6 6 6
16 Wolverhampton Wanderers 9 3 6
17 West Bromwich Albion 7 3 4
18 Bolton Wanderers 11 3 4
19 Wigan Athletic 6 6 3
20 Blackpool 6 8 3
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It hasnt been above 38 points since the 2002/3 season where West Ham, West Brom and the Mackems (on 19 points) went down.
I reckon 35-37 points will be the drop this time with at least 3 teams sweating it for the last place. Goal difference will decide it.
I also reckon we'll scrape 40 points+ and finish around 15th
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Some images appropriate for this forum:
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The bottom-line on the Andy Carroll saga for me is simple, the club didn't need to sell and the player didn't have to sign, simple as that.
Texas Toon
Needs to sort the moobs out.
Didnt realise you had to twitter accounts Jimbo. Prefer the one with the Mrs picture though.
Just one for me in enough - toonarmymia
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From newsthump.com:
Andy Carroll’s agent hospitalised after wanking himself into a coma
The agent of Premier League footballer Andy Carroll is in hospital after slipping into coma as a result of excessive masturbation following Carroll’s £35m transfer to Liverpool.
A hospital spokesperson confirmed that a man was admitted late last night and is currently in a serious but stable condition.
His doctor told us, “We can confirm that we are currently treating a man who is in a coma brought about by ferocious masturbation.”
“There’s also very little we can do about the fixed grin, and despite being heavily sedated he has been mumbling ‘ten percent, ten percent’ over and over again since his arrival.”
“Surgeons have successfully removed his hand from his penis, but we are preparing his wife for the possibility that the erection will be permanent.”
Andy Carroll’s agent quite happy
The hospitalisation is a swift turnaround for the agent, who just six months ago believed his job for the next few years would mainly entail sneaking copies of Shoot! magazine into the local prison.
The agent’s PA told reporters that the warning signs started to manifest as soon as word of the initial bid reached the agent’s office.
She said, “He started to get an erection as soon as the £30m bid came in, and there was no danger of that subsiding despite Newcastle rejecting it. He was pinned to the desk all morning.”
“When the £35m bid came in his hands were straight down his trousers, and when the deal was completed, well, he was pretty much a blur from that point on.”
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Stokoeback Mountain: When Getting Thoroughly Fucked Over By 11 Geordies Is Still Not Enough
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I might be cheeky and if suggestions/requests might be done. One of Stokoe and Godzilla looming over, say, Bletchley Park might look good. Or a 'Bob the Tank Engine'. If anyone is really good, how about Bob Stokoe as the watery alien thing in The Abyss?
why bletchley park?
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I wonder if Ireland would want to sign for NUFC on a permanent contract in the summer for circa £40k/week (max)? If he does sign on loan now and resurrects his career, we could, effectively, just be putting him in the shop window for others to buy at a later date. I wonder if these 'option to buy' loans are arranged with wages in mind upon a permanent transfer? Otherwise, what would the point be in doing it in the first instance?
I think this loan / with option to buy is a smart move, as we did with Ben Arfa. According to Mirror we are close to agreeing such a deal, the negotiation is how much we will pay of his wages to Villa
I'd consider giving him a try on loan, but not an immediate transfer deal.
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bloody mint
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I reckon this is the man for the job. Sky go and get it done!
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"I'll take two sugars, love"
For fucks sake, someone needs to go down there a have a word with that woman. She gone and forgotten the milk for christ's sake
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Stokoe getting mixed up with Gray
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Magnifico
sheer genius
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just noticed Stokoe in the toontastic banner at the top.
when did that happen?
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I'll probably have to write "Germani ite ad domum" 100 times though...
Modified the monkey one from the mackem game:
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At the moment we sit in 8th place, having played 23 games with 15 remaining. There's some teams below us on the table currently that I wouldn't have expected to be the case. Generally over the course of a season the imbalances in the table gradually sort themselves out (eg. Hull in 2008/09 started strongly and finished very poorly).
The teams below us currently that I thought would be above us are:
Liverpool
Aston Villa
Everton
Team above us that I thought would be behind us:
Blackburn
I think that there's a very strong chance that Liverpool will finish above us and a decent chance that Everton and even Aston Villa will too. Liverpool are currently 1 point behind us, Everton are 3 and Aston Villa are 5 points behind. Bolton despite their recent flogging at the hands of Chelsea have a good side who embarrassed us earlier in the season so they could very easily overtake us being equal on point currently but having played one game more.
Blackburn are only 1 point ahead and have played one more game so we could leapfrog them with our game in hand against Birmingham (In birmigan!!! To many snow!!!).
Based on these I'd say we're a good chance to finish the season in 10-13th position. Anything higher and I'll be happy, any lower and I'll be disappointed.
One thing this doesn't take into account is the nature of the games remaining - are they against top five oppositions, are they away from home etc.
West Ham, Wigan, Wolves to go down. I'd see us finishing 10th. Villa will be below, regardless of Bent's goals. Mackems finish 8th (although could end up lower looking at upcoming fixtures), LFC 7th/ possibly 6th. It'll be close between us and Everton though. Blackburn maybe 9th or below us. If we get REALLY LUCKY, a potential 7th place euro spot.
At top, Man Ure to win, Arse 2nd Chelsea 3rd and Man city 4th. Spurs will end up a gap in points behind in 5th. nothing new there
Either way, we'll be safe and if we could finish above the "greatest team in the NE", it would be fucking hilarious
Shefki Kuqi
in Newcastle Forum
Posted
We signed him on a free, Kuqi, Kuqi,
He’s as fat as Ashley, Kuqi, Kuqi
Spill his pint and he’ll give you the chop
But when he scores, he’ll bellyflop
Shefki Kuqi, Newcastles Number 9.