Meenzer

George Wendt Norm no more

Aye, the voting system needs an overhaul. Two years in a row now the Israelis have engaged in widescale online promotion to mobilise the public vote for their entry (funded by the government), and there are enough people around Europe who think the Gaza genocide is a good thing that it keeps working a treat. It makes sense really - if you don't want to vote for Israel, you've got 25 other songs to choose from so the vote gets fragmented, whereas if you want to "support" Israel then that's the one that gets your vote, and you don't even have to watch the show because you've been fed YouTube and Facebook ads with the voting details for weeks beforehand. Add in the fact that you can vote up to 20 times using each payment method you have at your disposal, and guess who ends up getting most of the public douze points and will keep doing so for the foreseeable future? Obviously in a way it's no different to Ukraine always getting massive public votes these days (other than, you know, one of those examples is clearly the wronged party whereas the other case is something of a grey area at best). But plenty of governments and their associated broadcasters have no interest in condemning Israel at a level that actually matters, never mind at the level of a silly song competition, so here we are. The UK getting zero from the public made total sense on the other hand - the song takes about ten listens before you get the hang of what it's doing, which is nine more than anyone gets on the night. Still, it's been a few years since we were represented by people who can actually sing, so that's a step forward.

Bit of a weird place to put your TV. Are you hiding from an armed intruder?

I don't know like, you think you're finally free but you'd still get wykiki moaning about his bike ride being held up by your funeral cortege, DEAD CUNTS

It has! That Jimmy Jump arsehole invaded the stage during the Spanish entry in 2010 so they got to perform again at the end. And way back in 1958 the Italian entry - "Volare", no less - was performed again because the still-creaky Eurovision broadcasting network went a bit wrong and some countries didn't get to see it first time round. It still didn't win. "Volare" ffs! There was a stage invader during the UK entry in 2018 too but they decided not to perform again, probably because they knew the song was absolutely hopeless anyway.

We're fine with the Chinese. A great bunch of lads.

Whereabouts are you staying? Foodie friends in Berlin have previously recommended me Bar Immertreu and Windhorst for cocktails, St. Bart and Ngo Kim Pak for food, and Markthalle Neun (food hall/market) for general gastronomic goodness. Nothing to go out of your way for (Berlin is hardly short of options) but if you happen to be nearby etc. At the other extreme, Georgbräu in the Nikolaiviertel (near the Museum Island) is more of a southern style Brauhaus and definitely as touristy as it comes, but in a nice little cobbled neighbourhood that survived being destroyed over the years despite being very central, so worth a look if you want a stop-off while doing some of the main sights. Decent beer gardens in lots of the parks too, obviously. Victoriapark and Mauerpark spring to mind (the latter on Sunday especially). History/museum-wise, there's a good little museum and preserved section of the Berlin Wall here - https://www.stiftung-berliner-mauer.de/en/berlin-wall-memorial - gives you a decent sense of the scale and grimness of it all. The runways at the old Tempelhof Airport are now a big park so you can go and pretend to be an aeroplane if that's your kind of thing (it is mine). And since you've got the time, get the S-Bahn out to Potsdam for a day of wandering around the grand old buildings in the Sanssouci Park, it's dead nice out there.

Absolutely warped seats, marra

Suffering this one on beIN Sports. Keys and Gray, fuck my life

Cant believe it. I wanna run to u. Really cant believe this.

Do I have news for yow, Ant...

And yet Shints will inexplicably still keep popping up every few years with a smeeagain joke before fucking off again

Dankjewel, Agent I Touch

Gemmilled it!

Watch there be 2 minutes added on now

I could have told them that for nowt. A diversity hire in Lincolnshire is someone from the next town over.

Strong rumours that Celine Dion is going to make an Olympics-style guest appearance at this year's contest, which gives me an excuse to post this magnificent photo from when she won it in Dublin in 1988.

How did you find all-inclusive as a non-drinker? I've thought about it before but I wondered if it might feel like a bit of a waste

Nowt special imo, but if you can get one of the tables with a better view then that goes some way to making up for what I thought was just OK quality and service.

His tragicness is old enough to drive.

Spring

Case in point. This is objectively frivolous and the sort of thing you can get away with more as a minor party, but it's also... more human than anything Labour have done publicly since coming to power? I mean, I'm aware they inherited a basket case of an economy and the world has gone even further to shit in the meantime, but you can still paint a picture that people might want to actually buy into, can't you?

Agreed. This, essentially: Even an Ed Davey type who's willing to engage in stupid stunts would be some kind of public face with a bit of personality for people to at least have an opinion of.

I honestly expected Reform to win it by more (and Betfair had it as a comfortable win too) - an easy opportunity to give an unpopular government and opposition a kicking and a departing MP who got done for assault. If he'd just quietly died instead then I reckon Labour would have won it handily enough. Doesn't make it any more pleasant having a crowing Farage all over the media this morning though. I know looks shouldn't matter in politics but I don't understand how anyone can look at his face and think "seems nice, definitely not a terrible cunt".