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themags

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Posts posted by themags

  1. found on another forum

     

    never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so

    much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have

    never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

     

    FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

     

    Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

     

    I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

     

    So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

    "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me

    to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look

    by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in

    the bedroom?"

     

    Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

     

    The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with

    her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big

    unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on

    several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to

    take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to

    compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We

    went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond

    earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was

    one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because

    she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play

    tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."

    She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.

    Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all

    dear, let's go to the cashier."

     

    I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

     

    Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT?"

     

    I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're

    just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy

    your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she

    was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and

    not for the things I buy you?"

     

    Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.

  2. I was halfway up the M6 last night when I took a call from Glasgow saying that Martin O'Neill would love to try his luck at St James' Park, but that he still needs a few more months while his wife recovers from her illness.

     

    tbh, speculative comments like that from Anal don't help one bit! Who made the call Mr Oliver? The voices in your head?

     

    Twat!

    63371[/snapback]

     

    Brett Emerton made the call :unsure:

  3. Town where i live they basically held a meeting with all the bar/club owners and said that  no where would be a license for more than 1 hour than they open now.  So it's still going to binge drinking in my local town.

     

    Overall if this idea is going to change our attitude to drinking, it'll take at least 10 years

    60041[/snapback]

     

    Tbh I'd have thought an hour is all people would want to wait before getting home to their blow-up sheep. :D

    60044[/snapback]

     

    thats only in one pub, really to find out how they discovered there was demand for blow up sheep and vibrators in the male bogs

  4. Town where i live they basically held a meeting with all the bar/club owners and said that no where would be a license for more than 1 hour than they open now. So it's still going to binge drinking in my local town.

     

    Overall if this idea is going to change our attitude to drinking, it'll take at least 10 years

  5. Speaking of wrong toilets I once caught a mate of mine having a piss on the floor of another mates kitchen :D

    59711[/snapback]

     

    a 'mate' of mine had a shit in my bath. Still not sure if he was trying to tell me something with a 'dirty protest'.

    59721[/snapback]

     

    you've never shit in an ex girlfriends bath as some form of pay back?

  6. un-related on the clubs where i live in the blokes toliets has a machine where you can buy blow sheep or vibrator  :icon_lol:

     

    i might stop going there

    59665[/snapback]

     

    Is your computer rationing vowels and punctuation marks, Karl?

    59666[/snapback]

    i'm a bit sleepy, tis a good club, i'm sure it's ok :angry::D

  7. attacks on anyone because of the colour of the skin, nationality whatever are just wrong

     

    it helped that he was cousin to some footballers, but when was the last time you say white man racially attacked on the national news? it does happen just it's not reported

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