You were linked here from a Pro-Wrestling Forum, so I really don't think you're in any position to be taking the piss.
Hence the term 'rough and tumble'!
Who just suggested the polis thing with 'Sophie Skinhead'?
Why not phone him, telling him he's talking to Det. Sgt. Freedman (starter for 10) of Durham police and ask him to come to the station at 09.00 Sat morning to discuss some irregularities that have come to light. The charv would then announce himself to the desk sgt at the allotted time who wouldn't have a fuckin clue why the daft salted peanut (skinhead with dandruff) was there.
Just a thought.
EDIT: I knew I shouldn't have had that extra beer - we don't know the fecker's name! Thick, or what???