peasepud

“@WackyJnr1: @JonMuzza1 going up the napper, fancy it?” euphemism?

“@Walken4GOP: What the hell happened? It feels like the entire UK is pissed off at me. What is a bellend?” You are

“@wavydavy23: tin of expanding foam, when dry cut it back, polyfilla then sand”Sounds a better plan than Jizz n Pearl Drops!

“@Wayno26: @19tmb @cattermole_lee. Hoping for a good season and 2 winning a trophy or 2”You've gotta have dreams #Nufc

“@WeePhillie: Get in you beauty... #FTM”Oh deary me.... #SMB

“@weldy1980: @Leazeslad thats just paid for Mikes dinner the nite ” Maybe he'll choke on chicken bone & stevie will be hero!

“@weldy1980: Were gonna win”Fucccccck aaalll

“@zoolander1680: @frankieboyle what a bawbag you are , why don't you take ur bile & spread it elsewhere”Touchy these Rangers fans

“#nufc AP: I wish to apologise to anyone who misinterpreted comments I made about our fans travelling to #wafc" We however, say fuck you

“Liverpool: Dietmar Hamann reveals how lost £288k in single bet as gambling and drinking took over his life” I LOVE KARMA

£12million? Fletcher?That'sMental!!!#safc#Nufc

1 plus point of @dannysimpson shagging @officialtulisa, she'll probably want him to move to London soon

12 hours ago I was sat in Wetherby services with a coffee...now I'm sat in Wetherby services with a coffee http://t.co/5p6Znx6x

2 year old George loves Wednesdays when Graze box comes! @grazedotcom http://t.co/mc9c26Nu

20k at Wembley, 2.2k last home game. 17k "fans" should hang their heads in shame as #Darlo die

4 places behind #NufcGetting beat at home by #mfcLost 1-0 to #hufc #safc now 4th club in North East?

4: number jars Paprika in cupboard.0.5: number teaspoons Paprika we use per month2031: year in which we need to buy Paprika again

43 years ago #Nufc fans were dancing in the streets after winning the Fairs Cup.

50 Shades of Stoke#genius #true http://t.co/IDP2kPCQ

90% reduction in transatlantic travel results in a real time increase of 8% heating bills it's LA superstar @Iwantcurlyhair2 #ff

A horse walks into a barand is served because they don't discriminate on gender, colour or equine status #inoffensivejokes

A mute #BetterCommentatorThanLawrenson

Aaaaand the final ball is shite #Nufc

Aaaaarrrggh!Forgot me bastard wallet!Arsechunks!

Aberdeen Angus sirloin, jacket spud, onion rings, sugar snaps & Stilton mushroom sauce courtesy of @ellietog http://t.co/xnmQXFet