Has anyone dialled 101?

[Craig 6321]

Yeah I called it the other week. Came round the corner near home one night and found a shopping trolley stuffed in the middle of the road upside down.

 

Only just managed to miss smashing into the thing, got out and pushed it to the side of the road. As I was doing so, I heard a chorus of "Oi you fucking wanker, leave it where it is!" from the bushes off to the left hand side.

 

Needless to say as soon as I'd driven off, the little shits would have put it right back where it was so thought it best to call the old bill to send someone round to make sure it was removed properly.

 

 

Were you down this way recently?

[Gemmill 35629]

Just the thought of the bush rustling and an unknown voice from within it calling you a fucking wanker is hilarious.

[Craig 6321]

You make it sound like the talking aspidistra in The Adventure Game!

 

I was waiting for the fuckers to run at me tbh

[asteroidblitz 12]

I once had a downstairs neighbour who compalined every time I walked around my flat wearing shoes. She even complained as I was moving in. Then one night she called the police to complain that I was having a wild party. At 10pm! The cops came round to find me and two mates playing Duke Nukem on the playstation, ffs! That was the final straw, the next day she had melted Mars bars splashed on her windows when she was out. Apparently it's a bastard to scrape off.

 

She was round the same day complaining I had been feeding the pigeons on my balcony Fooking big pigeons!!

 

Then a couple of months before I moved out, apparently my bathroom was dripping down into her living room. Did I hurry to call the plumber? I didn't even bother. Just twatted the radiators for half an hour every couple of weeks and then went downstairs to tell her that it had been fixed.