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Shaky start for Parkinsons

Piss poor performance from Bruce, we've all been watching this, we're in a relegation fight, at home, were one up and getting under a lot of pressure, joelinton looking lost and this is our manager on the touchline just staring with sadness in his eyes that he's not everyone's 'cup of tea'......

I went to the local Chinese takeaway last night and asked for my usual: Chicken chow mein, salt and pepper chips and a bag of prawn crackers. When it was all ready, the bloke behind the counter tipped it all out into a plastic carrier bag. “Woah, what the fucking hell are you playing at?” I shouted before he told me that they’re not allowed to put Chinese in containers anymore. Sorry

Probably fell asleep after spending the previous hour trying to connect to their WiFi

He's blatantly dreaming about terrorists aswell.

Mackems. Not one of them knows who their dad is, but they’re all related.

Did you hear about the kiwi who slept with his sister? He didn’t want to but she incested.

Turgid dross again for the most part. Though if that's a red then I'm looking forward to some kind of super VAR giving Alonso 3 reds for kicking Yedlin last week and cancelling his goal.

Dropping Almiron won't magically put somebody else in a position to take those chances. He's getting into goalscoring positions because of his good runs, pace and energy. As frustrating as him missing is, without him we'd just look more toothless.

And their virginity

Aye, true. I love how the Mail's headlines have got longer and longer in the past year or two. Normal headlines couldn't adequately express their hatred so they're pretty much the first paragraph of the story now. I bet the first draft for the above was "LOOK AT THIS CUNT!"

Guaranteed Uncal Mick took that photo

Also...

I see they've a 14 page thread on our match, obviously delighted that we've only got a point at home to Wolves, who finished 7th last season, in the Premier League. Takes a certain kind of delusion to forget about losing at Shrewsbury, who finished 18th, in League 1 and instead try to dig out your erstwhile rivals.

Souness should be made to watch games when he managed us. Together with Gemmill!

Don't they kind of always look like that?

Souness and Keane look absolutely seething that they had to sit through that shite

To be fair to Bruce he did bring on two players on 89 mins. Stevie Wonder could see how the game was going but BrucePuss wouldn't act. We're on less than a point a fucking game, here, mate, we're at home to a Wolves side just back from Europe and that's two points dropped and should've been three dropped tbh.

Not fit to lace Rondon’s boots

Benitez would have dropped him about 7 games ago and he'd have been made to earn his place back. This cunt is just blowing smoke up his arse and crossing his fingers

Aye I’m rooting for Joelinton to come good but he simply wasn’t involved today, Gayle should have been brought on around the 60th min at the latest

Bruce bingo after the game? I'll go for 'roll wor sleeves up'.

Double change in the 90th minute. That’s why Bruce gets the big bucks.

Red card caused by Joelinton’s touch that would have made Shola proud.

New contracts for everyone after this. That'll appease disgruntled masses

His decision making, when to have an extra touch when he's through, when not to and get a shot away is terrible. Almost always seems to pick the wrong option. Anyway, never mind that shit, well done the CBs!!

you've got the 'fuck mike ashley' bit right at least.

One forced change. He's already out of ideas this cunt

What about the cunt who took the picture? He was hardly cheering on ‘our boys’ either

This is what conservative leaders don't have to worry about and for all that you can laugh at the mail for being the mail there's a lot of people out there who lap this shit up.

I have some very good news for you, my friend.

Wolves fan here, coming in peace. Just want to say congratulations on the 3 points in advance. We create absolutely nothing these days and our players look knackered. And the only person that keeps our defence together Willy Boly is injured, so we're genuinely expecting relegation now. I'm expecting Conor Coady to just get bullied, instead of boly we're likely to play Max Kilman, who joined from non league. Yep. Aside from that, f*ck mike ashley. and also, as a lover of football i HATE seeing steve bruce use Joelinton as a target man just because he's big, when he's a fantastic link up striker like firmino.

I think they pretty much have to go for an election now, but the comment about Corbyn is accurate. His canonisation by some of the Labour membership is batshit. He's been an absolute disaster at a time when opposing this government should have been a cakewalk.

Labour are a fucking basket case. Hard to disagree with the above though. There are people on twitter that will argue black is white that Labour basically didn't lose the last election because they performed better than polls suggested and because the Tories lost their majority. All in defence of the cult leader.

Lad in the green jacket getting ready to squat down for a shite, filthy mackems just can't help themselves

"Meanwhile in division three, lower league supporters on Wearside were having fierce hate wanks over my one minute report on their game on Saturday, calling me a Mag bitch with a smelly kipper as they shot their bolts into their crispy bedsheets."

Why do Hong Kong cops set their alarms for 4am every day? They like to beat the crowds.