Gemmill

I know that, I just don't want Renton thinking he's fucking King Neptune all of a sudden.

Lord Bath of Longleat deed from corona. The original Tiger King.

I was thinking of trying Sainsburys on the basis there'll be fewer bamps - the aisles are wide as fuck as well at the one in Heaton. I think I fucked up by getting to Tesco for opening time so there was a swarm of people that arrived together all basically tracking one another round the aisles.

That's different though. If you live on a housing estate and the closest open space is 20 minutes walk away, there shouldn't be any problem with someone driving to it as long as you observe social distancing while you're there. What you're talking about is people having a day out at the beach. Which is obviously very borderline. However, if they're still observing social distancing then you'll just have to fucking suck it up, Mr Coastal Living. "Please don't drive for recreational purposes and fuck up my comfortable beach stroll".

Tesco was back to being a fucking nightmare when I went on Friday morning. Lass had a full panic attack in the fruit and veg bit cos no cunt was observing the 2 metres. Crying her eyes out and no one could go to comfort her. Some pensioner snuck up on one of the Tesco workers and got her face three inches from theirs to ask where something was. Tesco woman shrunk backwards but was obviously simultaneously embarrassed by her own reaction. Really though she should be saying to the old wife "Bitch, you are the one we are doing all this shit for and you're acting like we're on a date." Another Tesco wife was asking people to observe 2 metres which prompted this arsehole in a face mask to start shouting at her about how it was hard. Which prompted an absolute champ to round on this bloke and tell him to fucking pipe down, she's just doing her job. "An absolutely bullshit retail experience" would be the title of my Google review.

Look at these sexy beasts anyway! Banana mocha chop chip.

It's not essential but nor is it remotely dangerous or increasing the risk of transmission. As long as you are socially distant at your destination, then you've done nothing wrong. My sister drives to a local park so that the dog can be let off the lead, and some utter cunt has been posting pictures of her car (and others) on Facebook as if he lives in East Germany. Demanding that the authorities do something about it. What a fucking quim. I bet he's got a moustache.

Trump has been accused of multiple sexual assaults man. It's the CLASH OF THE TOUCHERS!

Hey I'm happy with the result. Hopefully we can start to see the immediate benefits of having an actual opposition. Hopefully Nandy gets a senior position in his cabinet and Long-Bailey gets fucked right off.

Worth clicking through the videos in this thread where Trump is back to talking about reopening the country as the US death figures skyrocket. Oh and he is also recommending people take a drug which his medical advisors are specifically saying people shouldn't take. I don't know at what point they remove this bloke from office, if not now. He is seriously ill.

Where Eagles Dare Bridge Over the River Kwai The Professionals Duty Free The Grumbleweeds Bullseye Currently taking a break from Zulu.

I use it as a nickname for small tangerines.

Fuck you Goh Peik!

Quite a bit cooler than the ginger lezza ewerk.

Cheers Phil. The lass on the phone seemed to think that they would revisit all appointments next week and any considered urgent would be rescheduled to May (and she reckoned that would include mine). We'll see though! Any bother, I'll give this PALS lot a shout so thanks for that.

I'm just gonna carry a car battery and some jumper cables.

Who's this lad on Hancock's right? Looks like an auctioneer off Bargain Hunt.

Pacemaker appointment cancelled. Letter received today. I rang the hospital - felt like a cunt doing it but basically said to the lass "I know you've got a lot on, so I'm sorry to be a dick, but this thing was reporting less than 6 months battery left in November.... 😬"

First the bat sarnies. Now this!

Ain't no pun shame.

Bill, withers.

Renton's on a good day again.

684 in the last 24 hours. Oof.

I was absolutely convinced this story was gonna end with him dying of corona. What a fucking twist!

Above based on today's figures.