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Monkeys Fist

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Everything posted by Monkeys Fist

  1. Did you not get the invite to his wedding then? It was bodacious
  2. Currently mildly paggered, btw. I’m in the Golden zone- one more pint might be amazing or disastrous
  3. Day off today. Got invited next door for late breakfast at 10:00 am, from our American neighbour, waffles, bacon, maple syrup etc. Magnificent. Going to a family piss-up this afternoon in Cullercoats. There’ll 60 odd of us, all direct family. Please ignore any posts by me after 6pm.
  4. However wonky, pissed and misaligned it is, it’ll look like perfection compared to my wall ( It survived winter tbf).
  5. I’m not surprised Alexa got confused mate- he was never the same after the split with Lyle.…
  6. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Light_(newspaper) I hope you stood up to use it.
  7. Komrad Starmer giving it some Putin… Labour: Jamie Driscoll blocked from North East mayoral list https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tyne-65792224
  8. The other night I thought I’d discovered a fetish for taste, touch, smell, sight and sound. Then I came to my senses.
  9. So does Sunshine to be honest.
  10. So, this shit limbo dancer walked in to a bar…
  11. He definitely roofied Little Miss Sunshine here, didn’t he?
  12. Not my cup of tea, tbh. Finished Forbidden West and having another blast through Days Gone, which is criminally underrated.
  13. Mental this. Everyone knows David Icke is the go to guy for proof of aliens.
  14. What’s grey and bad for your teeth? A sledgehammer. ( this, courtesy of Fist. Jnr. )
  15. Please, can we have a week off this topic? Gemmill is a broken man.
  16. I’ve recently started selling my religious sculptures. Yet to make a prophet.
  17. A cowboy walks into the bar, only to find it’s empty. Only the bartender, polishing a glass, is behind the bar. “Where’s everyone at?” Asks the cowpoke. “At the hangin’.” Bartender says. “Hangin’?!” The cowboy asks. “Hadn’t heard. Who are they stringing up?” “The Brown Paper Kid.” “The Brown Paper Kid?” “That’s right. Wears brown paper pants, brown paper vest, even a brown paper hat.” Bartender nods looking at the glass. “Damn. Never heard of him. What’d they get him for?” Asks the cowboy. “Rustling.”
  18. Inherently moral and classy… Sunderland footballer Jack Diamond denies sexual assault https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tyne-65788356
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