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Decent reply to Edwards

Our cat is a wee dick like, I can't stand him but since our neighbours have been really vocal about how much they hate cats I've been seriously considering getting another one.

Chris Grayling btw

Does your mullah know that you're out?

I'd have Di Lorenzo from them and Spinazzola from Roma if he's fit yet? (Eeeee, look at me getting all transferey and thinking big). @Antchange the lads name to tinofbeans, man. It's doing my head in.

You want to get on it, it's right up your street. Michael Caine plays an army man fighting a band of savages.

Toontastic Translation Blastronaut/KCG - Heid the baw Fish - Moon touched chap Wykki - Not Right in t'head, that one Robin Robin/Toonotl - Flamin' drongo Everyone else - heed the baal

Clemence and Agnew gone now. RIP the Steves.

“ Sorry mate, that’s a £50 cleaning charge.…”

* available at no good retailers and high street outlets. Not available online.

Sponsored by Wolf Jerky

"And remember, just because he's buying you dinner, doesn't mean you owe him anything"

Have you heard his podcast- Walker Waffle?

Is he from a good family?

Found it. He didn't do too bad. 👍

My youngest really, really wants one. But I'm allergic. I mean anaphylactic level allergic. I spent a night at Mrs Rents parental house when they were away back in the dawn of time. She had a protective rough collie called Tommy who obviously fucking hated me. Any time I went near her it barked its head off, shedding a plume of fur which made me sneeze, which it took as me barking back, and a growling stand off ensued (he was better at it). He was quite a scary fucker tbh and his breath stunk. By the next morning my asthma was so bad I could barely crawl out the door, my lips went blue. He thought he had won. But he died a year later so I had the last laugh.

Look at yee, ya dirty great trequartista

This fucking retard brings shame to the Canid family. If he went up against an amoeba in an IQ test he’d have his arse handed to him.

I love this excuse. You can always just go for a walk yourself you know. Go where you like. Not have to put up with your dog sniffing every other dogs' arse, worried about it being attacked or attacking another dog or cat, getting hassled by people and having to do small talk, and, most of all, not having to pick up its shit, literally. As for the point about loving something that's going to die, well that's why you should try where possible to love things that will outlive you. Children and trophy wives*. * Too late for me to follow this advice now.

Being me is more excellent for your mental health to tbh. It wouldn't be fair if I got more mentally well

Yeah, why love something if it's going to die at some point?! Don't cat owners have to clean out their pets shit from a little tray that they keep INSIDE THE FUCKING HOUSE??

Aye but look at him though. He's the absolute daddy.

I didn't realise Renton was of Asian heritage

I'm going to take it as a compliment.

Kate Stewart is a twitter account created by some Saudi character to influence public opinion, create good vibes, influence etc.... Steve Wraith claims to have met Kate herself when it would strongly appear that Kates physical manifestation is a short stocky gadge with a tea towel round his head

Maybe it was a Fake Taxi and it all got out of hand.

Well you prefer the left wing and you are partial to a Chinese takeaway...

I feel very attacked.

CT would’ve done the same. Probably would’ve left ABBA playing for good measure as well

Let’s hear it for (some) cabbies.

When Dean Smith, coach driver, took over Steve Bruce, manager’s Aston Villa they were 15th in the championship. What does Bruce have on people!?

Were you talking to her? If so, I can fully understand.

2 cats and a dog here. Far preferable to all of your kids. Renton thinks you send your dog to the "dog pound" when you go on holiday. Dog Pound is your new rapper name.

I'm not keen on dogs, but live and let live (but keep the fuckers on leads in parks). However, it amazes me the hassle and expense you dog owners put up with. Buying the animal, vet fees, insurance, dog pounds if you go on holiday. And the inevitable bereavement when they die. WHo needs that? And then, you actually pick up its shit. Think about that. You pick up dog shit. Fuck. That.

Wasn't aware, should've guessed knowing Welsh is a huge Hibs man.Nice that though, rhyming slang tends to be a bit playful and that really sums up the dour sarcastic humour up here. He seemed anything but cold, by all accounts sounded like a really warm and humble bloke like. @Renton aye she's pan bread. If it's not announced by Hogmanay I might be on the David Icke train.

Would like to thank 2016 me for making me laugh in 2021

BTW, I found myself reading this post 7 times, slowly, yesterday.

Ah coulda been a contender but now I watch on, face pressed against the windows of these fancy places where the great and good have their prestigious awards ceremonies thinking, it could've been me.....it could've been me.......lol, just joking toontastic, ah wouldn't swap essembee for Alan 'wide of the mark' Oliver any day. Ryder, err, ah mean, HMHM and out!

Fuck sake, man, too much information.

It wasn't that bad. He signed the likes of Ake, Callum Wilson, Mings, Lerma. He gets hammered for Solanke but he's still only 24 and he's currently got Bournemouth top of the league with 14goals in 18games. Looking on transfermarkt, most of Howe's big money buys in the premier league either got moved on for a marginal loss or at a profit. He's had a couple of poor signings like Jordan Ibe etc. but then we've spent well over £100mil on shite like Cabella, Thauvin, Riviere, Joselu, Joelinton, Muto, Murphy, Lewis etc.

Howe’s recruiting at Bournemouth was iffy to say the least. He needs guidance. Ally his energy and enthusiasm on the training pitch with an astute experienced figure to overhaul all aspects of the club including youth policy, scouting at all levels and first team recruitment.

We haven’t rushed though. Appoint the right man and he’ll already know what we need just as Howe already knew what had to be done. We need first team players, that’s for sure.

If you ever need reminding about why it was so easy for Vote leave to convince the electorate ...

“So would you rather the MURDEROUS, EVIL, PLANET KILLING Aramco sponsoring you or cute sock seller Sports Direct!?” “Murderous evil planet killing Aramco please….”

If we let Joelinton go on a free this summer that would mean a £24.6m loss on the books, thus allowing us to spend £24.6m more under FFP. If I were Staveley it would be something I would give genuine consideration to.

Those sort of responses are what Simon Jordan lives for. That and fancy conditioner

Imagine having a cardboard cutout of Steven Gerrard in your house.

How many times is that poor bloke going to have to answer questions about turning down that whiskey-nosed, porridge goblin?

Have you tried 'Newcastle Natter'? They seem quite educated on football matters and terms like 'Tarquestas' and also give you quite informal recommendations of books they've written themselves. I mean it might not be quite what you're looking for but they seem decent enough chaps.