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"Hello Geordie, what do you have to say?" "here, ah dinnit think Steyve did a bad job for them, ah meayn us, marra, ah meayn wor kid. Yi na them, I meayn us mags, wuh expect too much, and hound managers out, and wuh definitely have an infeereeoritey complex when it comes to sun'lin - who Steyve was absolooteley woeful for, marra, ah mean wor kid. And let's not forget, the genocide."

We have never, in our history, signed a good player. We've always overpaid for absolute dog eggs. Until they prove their worth and then of course they're good, we paid an absolute fortune from them, but they'll be off as soon as a big club comes in for them. Once they leave they become top class

Never ask anyone to do anything on their first day back after a holiday, you slave driving bastard.

Le Tissier......

Very smooth.

Saw on twatter, evidently Isak, Barnes and Gordon have only played together for 136 minutes this season, and in that time we’ve scored 8 goals and conceded none (scoring a goal every 17 minutes).

The batsman's Holding, the bowler's coffin.

Is she resting her chebs on Batmans head?

*Record scratches, the video pauses* "It was at this moment Matt realised that everything he taught himself at Google University was for naught. The pandemic was real, the vaccine saved lives and maybe, just maybe he doesn't have a microchip in his bloodstream"

Gemmill's read Toonpack's post, and he's had a think, then he's typed out his reply and then bang, he's submitted it. /ShearerPunditry

Palmer is absolute quality to be fair. And it’s first full season. Pretty incredible really. He still looks like he is a bit of a twat though.

I heard he was allergic to the 5G that Bill Gates put in the “inoculation “. The more you know … … and, of course, the Genocide

That's going in the Pornhub search bar for curiosity's sake.

Maintaining heft means struggling to lose weight where I come from like.

JFK coming back just in time for his 107th birthday, presumably to get Cruyff out of the witness protection program

Princess Diana went back to the future when she hit 88mph or some shit

Hey, leave @Kevin Carr's Gloves and his brothers alone.

Fixed it for you

So CT’s long suffering wife is called Maureen then?

We've got a caller, Alex. Alex, can you tell us about your experience of Steve as Newcastle manager? Next up, we've got Jan.

Aye, all those players we’ve sold to Saudi clubs with inflated values. I suppose they’re not exactly known for letting the facts get in the way of a story though. Newcastle have dove everything by the book and haven’t even looked to exploit any loopholes so far. There’s the issuing of shares but that’s legit and nothing other clubs haven’t done

Leave him alone. Callum Wilson is nearly fit again.

Dipper at work ✅ He's just come back from a week on the piss with his mate. They rented a caravan at the east cost and got mashed all week apparently. I have asked him to do something yesterday. Did he do it? Nah. Apparently though he was all over the place looking a mess. Soooooooooooooooo that's going to be a 'fun' chat this morning.

You’ve crossed a boundary there, like.

I see PSG and Dortmund are level on aggregate. I thought the so called group of death would struggle in the championship?

Tap in after tap in for Labour this like.

So she shit herself and didn't realise whilst sober?!

they were great with kids too. We were made to feel welcome to enjoy a really long meal and sit in the taverna until 10-11pm with my then two year old running about the place having the time of his life while all the waiting staff played and talked to him (no one tutting or looking annoyed as you would expect elsewhere). It was so relaxed and idyllic, we would stay and end up getting shit faced long after his bedtime as the little one crashed in his buggy. Italy is a bit like this too. They expect you to come out with your young kids and will look after you until late

What’s a duck worth Lewis ?

If he’s got a cold we’ll need extra cover 🤷🏻‍♂️

Nothing more to declare? No extras?

that about covers it, bye am going to bail on this now

Four fuck's sake

Even if they do, it will only harm them. Say it happens as planned now in June. Very easy for Labour to attack it based on expense. It obviously has zero deterrence value. When's the weather most settled and when will the most small boats cross? The scheme is a disaster for them imo.

Aside from all the other obvious cuntishness, the stubbornness they’re showing over this Rwanda shit is just staggering. It’s been clearly shown to be ridiculously more expensive than other options, nobody but them wants it, the Lords have tossed it out multiple times, it’s illegal, and yet, even though they all know they’re going to get comprehensively destroyed in the GE, and this will disappear down the toilet with other great Tory ideas, they are still pressing on with it. I’ll be absolutely amazed if they actually send a single person there before they get kicked out.

I understand that Gloom, and agree that it's strange for a football messge board to be the place to talk about this, probably one reason why we all stepped back for a bit from this thread since last year. I dont intend on engaging on a long debate. I could also take offence to the 'but do you condemn Hamas?' rhetoric that gets thrown around evertime Israeli bruatilites are mentioned. I condemn Hamas' actions on October 7. I also condemn 9/11 and 7/7 FYI. One single innocent life lost anywhere to indiscriminate attacks is unacceptable. I do however, also differentiate between a terror group led attacks killing 1400 people and an international state with an advanced military armed and funded backed by the US wiping out a whole cities and slaughtering 30,000 people (likely starving hundreds of thousands more), having occupied, blockaded and denied those people basic rights for over 70 years. Do you know how many hostages Israel has taken and currently holds? Do you know how many people they've killed in the West Bank (no 'but Hamas' here right?) and how much more land has been stolen there? I also will not accept that calling that out or criticizing Israel's actions is automatically anti-semitimism. I do accept that anti-semtimism does rise in times like these. There are unfortunately many ignorant idiots everywhere. But Israel's officials have tried to hide behind the anti-semitimism and 'but Hamas' shield for far too long now. I'm honestly not nodding to the conspiracy theories above. I struggle to comprehend just how utterly unable to critize Israel's actions the US and UK are, even when they murder their own citiziens in cold blood. Ok so you say because of the support for the jewish homeland after the holocaust. Till when does this carte blanche last? Till they've taken all the land, then maybe Lebanon? Till a 100,000 die, 500,000, a million? Will it be ok for the US to then say Israel needs to be reigned in? On a personal note Gloomy, for what it's worth I genuinely believe most people don't hate Israel for the hell of it or because they're anti-semitic. You can't just ignore decades of actions and pin it all down to that. It's what Israel has done for decades and continues to do so. For me at the very least, I hope you know that. These past few months in the US I've seen public opinion swing against Israel like never before. Even from people that were firmly 'two-sides' or 'Israel has a right to exist'. It's becoming harder and harder to justify it's actions based on those sentiments. I fear for what Netanyahu and his government are leading their people to.

All songs are made up

There must be 100s of millions of pounds worth of talent in that side. Given all the players worth in excess of £20m that couldn’t even make the XI