MMXXVIII
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Posts posted by MMXXVIII
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I watched Targett's interview and it made me wonder who was the last last player we signed blatantly on the spectrum? Bowyer?
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I worked in a place years ago where this bell end had a favourite mug. I stole it and began a trend of photographing said mug in various parts of the UK and uploading them online for him to rage over. It went so far that it was pictured with Mount Fuji whilst he had to make do with office-issued shit. Every time I see that guy I'm reminded of it.
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2 minutes ago, Ayatollah Hermione said:
That Carlos asking to leave is about the only way we’re going to get him, fucking hell. How much do those cunts actually want?
I think every cunt we want is going to have to do an Odemwingie, and even then it might not be enough.
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https://twitter.com/sportbible/status/1483138124242989063?t=ngtxjC4o_2iVwGMuV3NS3Q&s=19
Our fans hold this moment dear in their hearts, but when I celebrated in similar fashion after scoring in a match raising funds for the charity 'Refuge' I was chastised for it.
It's one rule for the multi-millionaire footballers and another for the rest of us.
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1 minute ago, Howay said:
I hope we don’t renew his contract. He’s been a fucking embarrassment.
Under Rafa he looked a player. Dunno what's happened but he's fucking appalling now, needs moved on for everyone's sake.
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On 14/01/2022 at 19:34, ewerk said:
Probably because he’s recently contracted covid. Which causes a lot more heart problems than the vaccine.
My suspicion is the vaccine causes issues with the heart and footballers regularly push the cardiovascular system to its limit. And my suspicions are always right.
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2 hours ago, Asprilla said:
Diddums.
Using words like that ffs
What's everyone's guilty pleasure with words? 'Spacker' is mine, though I do like 'flid' and feel it's criminally underused.
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24 minutes ago, Phoenix711 said:
After that disappointing result against Watford, to cheer myself up I'm going to mention some players I want for Newcastle (we probably won't get a single one, but I can dream ok!). Prices are in euros (£1 = €1.2) because EPL clubs won't sell us anyone good. We have a €120m budget (£100m)- rumoured, don't know if its true. We have used €45m (£37.5m) on Trippier and Wood so have €75m (£62.5m) left.
My priorities on players are in this order: CB > DM > CM > CF > LB
Central Defender
Name: Sven Botman (22 yo)
Club: Lille
Cost: ~€55m
Why? One word. Lascelles. We need some steel at the back who can close out a 1 nil.
Botman is possibly a new Jaap Stam and could be our Kompany. Highly rated 22 yo Lille left footed CB with excellent physical ability (what Lascelle lacked today) and a brilliant passer. Main weakness is a lack of pace so would need to be partnered with someone quick or play a 3 man defence. I know we've tried to get him but we've offered €40m and they want €55m. You can see his stats in Ligue 1, he's a good passer and brings the ball out of defence. https://fbref.com/en/players/ccce7025/Sven-Botman
Defensive Midfield
Name: Boubacar Kamara (22 yo)
Club: Marseille
Cost: ~€15m
Why? We need someone who can protect the back four. Too often teams go through us. We play Shelvey in front but the man is a sieve, full of holes.
Kamara's contract expires in 6 months so would be "cheap" but he wants £150k/wk. He can play centre back, is right footed, quick and an excellent passer. He is 22 and plays for Marseille so the question is, could he justify so much money compared to say Trippier? Main issue is he's unproven in the EPL. He has excellent stats in the league though as one of the best passers and a good tackler. https://fbref.com/en/players/cc77354e/Boubacar-Kamara
Midfielder
Name: Bruno Guimares (24 yo)
Club: Lyon
Cost: ~€45m
Why? Two words. Sean Longstaff. Need someone who can tackle, protect, pressure and most important pass. Longstaff sadly has regressed and looks like a deer in headlights.
He's wanted by Arsenal but thankfully Champions League teams are just monitoring. His best attribute is his passing, think De Bruyne through balls. Just watch some youtube videos. But he's not an Attacking midfielder, he plays a deep role and is an excellent tackler and ball pressurer. He is capable of winning the ball back and starting attacks, exactly what Shelvey is meant to do but hasn't. If he comes it will be for money but he still has his best years ahead of him. https://fbref.com/en/players/82518f62/Bruno-Guimaraes
Left Back
Name: Nicolas Taglifico (29 yo)
Club: Ajax
Cost: ~€20m
Why? Dummett did a decent job and Lewis is making progress but neither offer an attacking threat. There's a reason why Maximin runs down the left with no overlap.
He's a quality left back and can attack and defend. He's fallen out of favour at Ajax, behind Blind, so we may be able to pry him away. Just look at his stats over last 365 days, solid both in attack and defence. https://fbref.com/en/players/f0661424/Nicolas-Tagliafico
Striker
Name: Dusan Vlahovic (21 yo)
Club: Fiorentina
Cost: ~€80m
Why? We need goals. We can't expect to hold onto 1 nils and we have one of the lowest goal tallies. We are a team under pressure and if we go 2 nil up, we may actually win the game. Wood won't get us more than 5 and is a good impact sub.
Its between him and Schick for our "Marquee" signing and the main issue is the guy himself. Vlahovic wants to play in the champions league but only clubs like Tottenham and Arsenal are interested i.e not CL clubs. He has 18 months left and he is refusing to sign a new deal so Fiorentina want to cash out, they'll make more money now than the summer. Arsenal are trying to convince the guy but the stumbling blocks are:
1. He wants 300k/wk.
2. £20m agency fees
3. Fiorentina want cash deal not instalments - poor Arsenal can only do instalments.
Apparently, after the transfer fee and wages, it works out to £150m (€180m) over 5 years! Is he worth that money? Probably not, after all that is Mo Salah/ Haaland territory and the guy isn't that good yet but is excellent. 17 goals in Serie A this season, good hold up play and an aerial threat. Can score from long range and can carry the ball. Main weakness is he is one footed (left) and positioning, he drops very deep to pick up the ball that he misses out on a lot of poacher goals. This guy is an outside chance and only because of the money but he is the best we can afford if he is willing to come. https://fbref.com/en/players/79443529/Dusan-Vlahovic
How I'd pay - note we are only allowed 2 loan signings or I would loan Botman and Taglifico too!:
Sven Botman = Transfer: Buy for €50m + €5m add ons (read, if we stay up)
Boubacar Kamara = Transfer: Buy for €15m
Nicolas Tagliafico = Transfer: Buy for €15m + €5m add ons (read, if we stay up)
Bruno Guimarres = Loan-to-buy: Loan fee of €15m + €30m in summer (read, if we stay up)
Dusan Vlahovic = Loan-to-buy: Loan fee of €20m + €60m in summer (read, if we stay up)
If Vlahovic is out of reach then try Schick who has 17 goals and is two footed and good in the air for €60m, cheaper than Vlahovic, again loan-to-buy with a hefty loan fee that would be subtracted from final buy fee.
The loan-to-buy can affectively give us a couple of world class players in form to stave off relegation. The problem with the Van Der Beeks is they are not what we need right now. Also loaning these players first, we can check if they're any good. No point in ending up with another Thauvin (who is classm only in France), we need a Laurent Robert! This is important because of FFP, we can't waste too much money or we'll be like Everton, £400m wasted on mid table mediocrity (e.g. Iwobi) and now can't spend anything for several windows.
So that's 50 + 15 + 15 + 15 + 20 = €115m. That means we should sell €40m in players (do we even have €40m in players! joke). We would need to sell for spaces anyway, so I would sell:
Longstaff - €6m (contract up in summer, Hello Benitez)
Gayle - €3m (championship club)
Almiron - €12m (Half what we paid for him but some club would take him at that value as he's still 27)
Kraft - €3m (Surplus to requirements, Swedish international, should be worth a few mil)
Clark - €1m (32, champions club would pick him up)
Total = €25m
That's a net spend of €115 - 25 = €90m. So €15m over the €75m we theoretically have left in this window but within margins for error especially for a marquee signing. I know that would mean Vlahovic and Guimarres would cost us €90m more in the next window (even more with add ons) but as it's a new financial year we still have some wiggle room for more players. Most importantly, there are several free transfers that might be available in the summer like Lingard (RW), Zakaria (DM), Onana (GK), Tarkowski (CB), Dembele (RW) that we can replace several of our weakness without spending too much. We can also try and unsettle players with 12 months left on their contract e.g. Gosen (LM) from Atlanta.
So with those 5, my starting XI in a 4-1-2-3 would be:
Dubravka
Trippier Schar Botman Taglifico
Kamara
Guimarres Joelinton
Fraser Maximin
Vlahovic
If Schar is a liability then put Kamara in the back 4 and Hayden back in the team as the DM. With Wilson back, play 4-4-2 with Maximin or Fraser replace by Joelinton out wide. In a 4-2-3-1, Kamara, Guimarres and Joelinton are excellent ball winners. While Kamara and Guimarres will look for the pass after winning the ball, Joelinton will carry it out of midfield. Maximin and Fraser are to create chances with support from Trippier and Taglifico who are good crossers.
Summer window I'd get 2 new wide men and a centre back.
Anyway, that's my dream, writing this has made me a little less sad about the result today. Time is the best healer.
Get some hoes.
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12 minutes ago, Renton said:
A lot of it seems to be a confidence issue imo, as Isegrim said we go to pieces when in the lead. Surely that's a managerial issue? Although it's still early days for Howe.
Confidence is playing a big part, but I don't think many of them have the ability to play the way Howe wants us to.
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1 minute ago, Howay said:
I don’t think he’s blameless. He played Longstaff, who is our worst CM with the exception of possibly Hendrick. If Willock is fit he should have played, and to be honest he should have played Anderson against Cambridge to see what he offered. He also needed to make a sub at CM when it was clear as day all three of them were blowing out their arse, it was more vital than taking Fraser off imo. Obviously he’s dealing with wank players but he’s making mistakes himself.
You would think Willock is the most likely beneficiary of playing Wood. I like Howe and do think he'll get us going in the right direction once the deadwood is out, but aye he's not making sense at times.
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13 minutes ago, Howmanheyman said:
I'm absolutely sick of the sight of most of our players, it's not even that they're mercenaries it's just they're so fucking bad even when they try.
Same. Rafa knew they weren't up to playing football and forged a plan to keep us up. Howe wants to play another way but most of them aren't capable of executing it. Trippier spun a couple of belting balls into Fraser in a dangerous area today and he couldn't even get control of it.
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6 minutes ago, Howay said:
Had a feeling we didn’t have enough in for this one. Our CM is a complete fucking waste of time, they generate absolutely nothing. I also give Howe blame here tbh, we needed a sub in CM simply for energy but he didn’t make it.
I'll be surprised if there's a slower midfield in the country.
The amount of basic, unforced errors we make is unbelievable. Usually results in all hands to the pump as well. Lascelles and Saint-Maximin are the biggest culprits.
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1 hour ago, Alex said:
I’ve got a bit of time for him on the basis we’ve had fuck all else in terms of someone who can beat a man / create something out of nothing. But the fact he fell over himself to praise the laziest fucking manager in the game speaks volumes imo.
It felt like he values anyone who panders to him over everything else.
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26 minutes ago, PaddockLad said:
Fuckers eating again 😑 #ciaohowmanheyman
Made me think of Fury v Wilder III.
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16 minutes ago, PaddockLad said:
If that was at the other end he'd have swallowed his fuckin whistle immediately
I think Hayden was feigning a head injury to get the play stopped, but there's no way Dean could have known that and aye if that's at the other end we'd not have had a chance to get the cross in.
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Apply themselves like that til May we'll be fine. If Dubravka is in goal we win today; first mistake and I knew it before kick off.
Might be a player in Joelinton after all.
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14 minutes ago, Toonpack said:
Tim Payne resigns as Aussie skipper, unsolicited dick pics a few years ago, evidently.
I expect Hales took the pics.
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1 hour ago, Howay said:
Depressingly that second half was arguably our best of the season
as shit as it was, I struggle to remember one better this season. At least we had some passages of play where our players completed passes to one another.
As bleak as it’s looking we still have 27 games and the added benefit that we have money to spend and improve the team in January. If we can keep within 6 points of 17th by January we will be safe come the end of the season as I’d back Howe with a big transfer budget to better the shite sides in those spots by 2 wins over the rest of the season.
Howe will prove to be an amazing appointment. The players are limited but capable under a capable manager, I'm thankful it's happened in November. We'll look ready to push on in a few months.
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30 minutes ago, Gemmill said:
What the fuck does he think getting Sting on the record is gonna do?
My mate wrote a script where this cunt got kidnapped. Never made production; shame, Kelly Rowland was on board.
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38 minutes ago, Alex said:
It does really. I think others have said Jones looks like a good coach who struggles a bit with the bigger picture. And the ultra defensive approach smacks a little bit of someone either lacking a bit in ideas or confidence perhaps. But you can see where he’s coming from, ie if we’re hard to beat, we’ve got a chance. He’s picked up as many points as you could probably have hoped for in those games in charge and the last 30 minutes gives us something to work with. Definitely time for the few man to cone in and inject some new ideas and impetus but, like you say, he’s done better than the managerial legend he’s taken over from.
I think he just concentrated on getting us fit and hard to beat again. He knew it was short term and it was the right approach from where we were in a period of uncertainty. I'd have done the same.
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1 hour ago, Gemmill said:
Hopefully he'll be out on his ear anyway, but especially if they work out that he's the mole. Actually, is Penfold a mole?
The mole was actually Steve Bruce indulging in a sex fetish. He'd make the call then read The Daily Mail with a side lob.
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Other Games 21/22: Talk about Actual Football
in Newcastle Forum
Posted
Always been cunts. Remember the 'Baby Squad'?