OTF

Agree, but Lascelles will be in the squad for sure so we have to hope against all odds that everyone else stays fit or that he suddenly develops an ability to mark and work cohesively in a defensive unit.

I had heard this somewhere, can't recall where. Pretty sad that New Zealand's Chris Wood could only manage third given his advantage through corners.

GK: Dub, Pope, Karlow FB: Trips, Targett, Krafth*, Manquillo, Lewis CB: Schar, Bots, Burn, Lascelles CM: Bruno, Joe, Shelvey, Willock, SLongstaff WG: ASM, Fraser, Miggy, Murphy, TBA FW: Wilson, Wood, TBA Krafth has been a different player under Howe (with improved players beside him also) and he also gives cover for CB. I didn't include Dummett because he's too susceptible to injury or Fede because through no visible fault of his own he's been out of the picture under Howe. Anderson is under 21 so can be included also, but expect him to be loaned of so that he's playing. I'm hoping that Lewis can be reborn under Howe if given a chance. Murphy is a good mobile attacking option off the bench. He'd be quite saleable too, with plenty of interest from upper tier championship sides if we wanted to move him on.

Pretty impressive for Australia's Christopher Wood to get on the podium given he'd be one of the heaviest in the squad. Matty Longstaff to be given a chance this season or just there as a filler? Doesn't qualify as under 21 from this season so would be tough for him to crack a spot in the 25 unless he's turned into peak Paul Scholes over the break. More likely to be out on loan again.

Fraser almost needed a ladder to climb onto the podium

ELLIOT ANDERSON'S NEXT STOP?

Clark always had a clanger in him, in the championship less likely to be punished for them. He was otherwise a good player, more than decent at attacking the ball on set pieces too. Does that mean Hendrick scored in his first and last games for us and did less than fuck all in between.

That's a rather odd offensive move.

I thought that said MONG on the shorts for a moment, oddly although not PC it made perfect sense.

Barely played the last few seasons though, so he's a spritely almost 33 year old.

He's far from a Real Madrid reject! Though of the major leagues it would be a coin flip between La Liga and Serie A for me as to which is most dissimilar to the Premier League.

Yeah I was mostly joking. One of my sons had it but was effectively asymptomatic, the other had symptoms for less than two days. I was the best at having symptoms in my house.

You lot must be cave dwelling hermits with no friends or close family.

As a country we have heard your suggestion and we reject it wholly. You'll be hearing from our lawyer. Cathword.

I don't think he gets that much criticism? Where are you hearing it? He's still a fantastic player even without his explosive pace. He's 37 but plays like he's 30. His wages would be insane, I'd hate it if we signed him. We don't need to raise our profile like that, we need to raise our football team which will raise our profile.

"All I know is that they can hold a roast chicken the next time I need to pretend that I missed a development that contradicts my previous tweets."

He was one of the greatest footballers of all time but seriously anyone interested in him now will be doing it almost entirely for the PR of it because it's quite clear that he's not a positive influence on the pitch.

What's not to like there? Get paid a shit ton to underachieve in an unbalanced misfit team of primadonnas.

Any inside knowledge or insight as to why he only signed for two seasons? I suspect probably as simple as his agent knowing it would speed up the time to his next slice of the pie (whether it be an extension or a move) and Barca being happy enough because there was no transfer fee.

If that's the case it's a very different story. I wouldn't have expected his wages to be that high at Barca. I doubt he's super keen to come back to the prem.

Would any lower ranked prem teams have room in their wage structure for him? He's reaching the stage of his career where he's not going to want to step down in wages and the reports on what he's on now have him on £230K a week..... Perhaps those reports aren't accurate.

Getting 30+ goals in the Carabao Cup would be some achievement. Settle those expectations.

Even more of a prick off the pitch than on it, which is quite the achievement.

He's also a little diving prick. We don't currently have anyone who is particularly good at doing that effectively. Sorry Maxi, I know you try.

Also, how convenient that after we ended our interest due to being stuffed about by his agent that he comes out publically declaring he wants to stay at the club. Trying to make it look like he turned us down. Good luck with that given the club was only too willing to sell you.