OTF

Mike & Derek's Master 10 Step Plan Step 1. Devise 5 year plan, based on casual observation of clubs that appear to be doing ok. Step 2. Implement said '5 year plan' by paying excessive amounts of money to bring in new management and director positions that severely undermine existing staff. Boy this is fun! Step 3. Pretend that everything is ok. Oh my, what's going on? Step 4. Try to escape. For Sale, check our web site for price Step 5. Claim that you're in if for the long haul and remind everyone of the five year plan, but this time base it off teams a little lower down the spectrum in an attempt to cover for lack of action in attempting to address the rot that has set in due to minmanagement (Refer to Steps 1-4) Shit! Noone bought it... Step 6. Panic. Try to do something that will make 'everyone' happy. Talk about it like it's a long term move that's part of your continuing committment to the club."Bringing Alan Shearer back to Newcastle United was the best decision I have made" Step 7. Sell off anyone that you can get money for. Pretend that anyone who wasn't sold was strictly retained because they wanted to play for the club, and because the club wanted them and NOT because no-one offered anything for them. Step 8. Close your eyes, cross your fingers and hope. Step 9. When all is doing well make some positive moves on the market helping to secure promotion to the Premier League and giving the illusion of light at the end of a long dark tunnel. Step 10. Devise 5 year plan, based on finger in the wind calculations about how to turn a profit by alienating players and fans through inactivity.

This is up there with putting the price of the club up on the web site. Pathetic that we're such an amateur operation. Top 5 in gates in the entire country and we're run by a bunch of hopeless clowns who continue to amaze and dazzle with the depth and diversity of their incompetence. It's absurd.

That's exactly what I mean.

Limited to matches I've seen live (radio doesn't have the same lasting effect).. it would have to be: (1) Enrique's goal and the subsequent celebration. (2) Celebrations on the pitch after Plymouth match. (3) Nolan chasing the ball down (against Reading), knocking it back to Ryan Taylor and having it whipped into the box for Shola to score. Others, (4) Andy Carroll's goal scoring form. (5) Lovenkrands playing well in his preferred position. (6) Guthrie playing well in his preferred position. (7) The signing of Routledge. (8) The signing of Williamson. (9) Coloccini getting his confidence back (10) The Fernando Pancake song

Keeping him would be foolish IMO. Way behind Carroll, Lovenkrands and Shola in the pecking order (and even Ranger IMO), plus I reckon next season away we're going to see a lot of Kevin Nolan in behind a lone striker, so he's even less likely to have a run. Going up to the premier league means less games and a less demanding schedule overall and we need to bring in a new leading striker which would render Best completely useless. Sell him off as a loss, because that amount would soon be realised in wages anyway. If he's on say 10k a week that's more than half a mill a season going down the gurgler. Timbuktu correspondant signing off...

I don't care for the club or the manager, but the players deserve to have qualified for champions league qualifications. Did the double over their nearest rivals on the table, have beaten the title winners and Arsenal amongst others. I didn't think they would do it, but now that they have they deserve it.

Well thats going to be useful then It could be... on his Michael Owen'esque Full-colour Brochure

This season was the first time ever that Shola has scored ten league goals for us. Took him 10 seasons. He is a European goal scoring machine though. 12 goals in 41 appearances. Completely different player TBH. Chopra would have scored f. all for us if played more extensively in his early years at the club.

Speaking of Reading, I wonder how many Premier League clubs will be running their eyes over Gylfi Sigurdsson. Has been carving it for them over the second half of the season. At this stage I'd be very surprised if he was with them next season. No doubt they'll do everything within reason to hang onto him, but the kid appeared to be destined to play at a much higher level.

Kadar couldn't even crack it for a bench spot? In fact other then the keeper there's no defenders on the bench

Leighton Baines then? Does SWP even have a look in, or hasn't played enough football? Just went on a great run down the left and setup Bellamy for Cities third goal.

Is Stephen Warnock really England's next choice for left fullback after Ashley Cole? He just gave away a horrible penalty against City. Villa were up 1-0 at the time and City were looking pretty toothless despite bossing posession (anything else expected with Villa being away?). Tevez slammed the penalty home, then a minute or two later Adam Johnson burst into the box in the area where Warnock should have been defnding, had enough time to stop, think about it, and play a calm pass into the path of Adebayor who knocked it in from all of 4 yards. Oh dear. Absolutely cracking goal from Huddlestone for Tottenham. Hammeded into the top corner from distance. Keeper had no chance.

Nolan will need to work on his fitness and mobility for next season. Despite playing in a great many games this season he's never looked particularly fit and doesn't seem to cover a lot of ground (hasn't really needed to).

They could at least show us what it looks like. If they were confident with their design they wouldn't have any qualms with doing so. Which means....

The delays must surely be because of the current relationship with Adidas. Not wanting to burn birdges and all that. The volcano ash was a handy little excuse for the initial postponement, but no for the continued secrecy shrouding this.

TBH I wouldn't pay that much for Keane. Not saying he's worth it, but he needs the ball delivered to him. If we spent 8 mill on him not much would be spent elsewhere and consequently he wouldn't score the amount of goals required. Plus his goal celebration is naff.

Was about to say the same. Sign 'im up to the academy or something... looks tall already.

Bloody hell.

Sho sho sho sho Goalaaaaaaa

Nicky Butt! Like lightning into the box.. wins the penalty

FFS

Great work Carroll, sounds like it was a great cross from Routlegde. Hopefully we keep seeing these sort of performances from these two next season.

Good to see that Chris went with that lineup. Radio Stream

Cool. They do bear the signs of most mock-ups in that the home one was overworked, and the away one was a leap.

Double on us and West Brom, paying 3.70 for every 1.