manc-mag 1 Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 Birmingham full of sit-down wipers, apparently: http://uk.health.lifestyle.yahoo.net/one-in-six-mobile-phones-contaminated-with-faecal-bacteria.htm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cumberland_Sausage 0 Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 The flaming kebab is an appropriately positioned link for this story Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brock Manson 0 Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 Deffo wouldn't borrow Jenas' mobile! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alex Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 The dirty bastards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ruler of Planet Houston 1 Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 Dorty twats! The sit-down wipe is the way forward though... and much more efficient Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 34190 Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 The stand up wiping thing is hilarious. You freaks still getting up to show mammy what a clean botty you've got. Honestly I can't get my head round adults stood up wiping their arses. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ruler of Planet Houston 1 Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 Maybe they just like the feel of the remnants squishing between their cheeks when they stand up? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 34190 Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 Maybe they just like the feel of the remnants squishing between their cheeks when they stand up? Aye that's another obvious issue. They clearly don't remember in nursery, spilling paint on paper and folding it in half to make a "butterfly". The bunch of shitterflies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38585 Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 What's your exact method Gemmill, do you go betwixt the legs, frontally, or is it a rear approach? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alex Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 How fucking fat are your arses like? You filthy bastards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 34190 Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 Rear approach. Tip up onto one cheek which has the effect of exposing the relevant area. aka the standard adult human approach. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Face 29 Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 What's your exact method Gemmill "The Split-Arse" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ruler of Planet Houston 1 Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 Rear approach. Tip up onto one cheek which has the effect of exposing the relevant area. aka the standard adult human approach. Same Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 34190 Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 How fucking fat are your arses like? You filthy bastards. So in a normal standing position, your arsehole would be visible? Obviously we're talking unclothed here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Face 29 Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 Rear approach. Tip up onto one cheek which has the effect of exposing the relevant area. aka the standard adult human approach. Same Your kid brought the subject up in the pub once and we all hammered him relentlessly cos he goes hand between the legs and wipes down towards the biffin. The shitty ball-sacked freak. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 34190 Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 What's your exact method Gemmill "The Split-Arse" You're a Smodcast man. You must have heard the incredulous tone in both Smith and Mosier's voices recently when the mere suggestion of standing up to wipe your arse was raised. Just an utterly alien concept. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ruler of Planet Houston 1 Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 That would be an avoidance of shitty ball sack as he wipes away (theoretically), but more possibly a shitty forearm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 34190 Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 What's your exact method Gemmill "The Split-Arse" As oppose to "The Smushed Arse" btw. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ruler of Planet Houston 1 Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 Those normal people that have the sit down technique nailed, understand that there are 3 dimensions. None of this wiping front to back, back to front lark. It is all about the perfect arc. Hence an inverted take-off as though the ball sack is a building at the end of the runway in a tense film moment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38585 Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 See, I adopt a "crouching Tiger" stance. The feet stay firmly planted, butt parts company with bog seat, but the all important cheek separation is maintained by the Ninja stance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ruler of Planet Houston 1 Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 See, I adopt a "crouching Tiger" stance. The feet stay firmly planted, butt parts company with bog seat, but the all important cheek separation is maintained by the Ninja stance. So as you stand up, a trickle of liquidated shit dribbles down your scrote and tails off on the shaft unnoticed? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 38585 Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 See, I adopt a "crouching Tiger" stance. The feet stay firmly planted, butt parts company with bog seat, but the all important cheek separation is maintained by the Ninja stance. So as you stand up, a trickle of liquidated shit dribbles down your scrote and tails off on the shaft unnoticed? Nowt liquid about my dung. Eat more fibre matey. Sitty Downers = Squirters. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 34190 Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 See, I adopt a "crouching Tiger" stance. The feet stay firmly planted, butt parts company with bog seat, but the all important cheek separation is maintained by the Ninja stance. The Ski Sunday? That's how you might stand to have a shit in a field. Not how you should be wiping your arse in a toilet. I genuinely believe that you lot just haven't graduated from doing this stuff as part of potty training. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manc-mag 1 Posted October 14, 2011 Author Share Posted October 14, 2011 Some refugees of evolution in this thread. Bad craic tbh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alex Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 How fucking fat are your arses like? You filthy bastards. So in a normal standing position, your arsehole would be visible? Obviously we're talking unclothed here. Are you sitting down at this point? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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