Monkeys Fist

I’m looking at doing my HGV III license asap. ( I will save the Nation singlehandedly ).

On your way back there’s a little known, but beautiful, area called the Gorbals in Clydesdale - definitely worth a stop,

Luke just needs a week of wine and chicken to recharge his batteries - it’s draining being a little bitch 24/7. He’s looking forward to his villa in Marmaris…

Anyone else posted that, I’d say they were taking the piss… … totally believe Mr. Tumble here did this, probably with his tongue hanging out the side of his maw.

“Didn’t have any steak and kidney, stirred Ned’s kidneys instead”

Bangor? He’s lucky to get a cuddle off her these days…

Get in a canoe, you Tubby Tit- my hip is crumbling away so I’m out of the long walks until I get an update, but my brother and I are planning to do the Great Glen canoe trail (Fort William to Inverness) over 5 days next year with our sons. Hills, lochs, wild camping, fishing, pubs all whilst sat on your fat keister- it’s perfect for you. (If you sit up front you’ll go faster too, as your conehead is aerodynamic) Edit; it’s also a perfect opportunity to buy a shitload of kit you’ll never use, then sell a year later for a tidy loss 👍

The bloke I mentioned above, Norman Croucher, had this to say, ”Obviously, keeping your feet warm is a problem in high altitude climbing — but only if you have feet. While companions war-dance to keep theirs from freezing, I can stand on ice for hours. Climbing high or in a bivouac, I'm always the joker who doesn't have cold feet.”

The cabinets or the carpet?

Norman Croucher is the one who springs to mind for me, double amputee, climbed peaks all over the world ( not Everest though). Some lad… https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norman_Croucher ( I’d have changed my surname though )

Fucking hop, soft shite

Eh?