AUSTRALIAN JOKE

[Gerrard 0]

An Australian guy is traveling around the Greek Islands.

He walks into a bar and, by chance, is served by an Australian Barmaid.

 

As she takes his order, a Foster's, she notices his accent.

 

Over the course of the evening they get chatting. At the end of her shift he asks if she wants to come back to his place.

 

Although she is attracted to him she says no. He then offers to pay her $200 to sleep with him.

 

As she is traveling around the world, and is short of funds, she agrees.

 

 

 

The next night the guy turns up again. Again he orders Fosters and after showing her plenty of attention,

 

asks if she will sleep with him again for $200. She remembers the night before and is only too happy to agree.

 

 

 

This goes on for 5 nights. On the 6th night the guy comes in again, orders Fosters but goes and sits in the corner.

 

The barmaid thinks that if she pays him more attention then, maybe she can shake some more cash

 

out of him. So she goes over and sits next to him.

 

 

 

She asks him where he's from in Australia. - "Melbourne", he tells her.

 

"So am I. What suburb?" she enquires. "Glen Iris" he replies.

 

"That's amazing........." she says excitedly, ".........so am I - what street?" "Cameo Street" he replies.

 

"This is unbelievable........." she says, her voice quavering. "What number?" "Number 20", he replies.

 

She is totally astonished.

 

"You are NOT going to believe this........", she screams,

"but I'm from number 22! My parents still live there!"

 

"I know..." he says, "Your Dad gave me $1,000 to give to you"

 

HE WHO DRINKS AUSTRALIAN, THINKS AUSTRALIAN

[Hatful Of Hollow 0]

You're nee BobbyShinton like.

[David Kelly 1117]

Older than Rob tbf.

[bobbyshinton 59]

You're nee BobbyShinton like.

 

Sheila, the Aussie housewife got out of the shower and slipped over on the bathroom floor. Instead of slipping over forwards or backwards, she slipped, did the splits and suctioned herself to the floor.

 

She yelled out for her husband Bruce. "Bruce, Bruce" she yelled. Bruce came running in.

 

"Bruce, I've <OVF Censored> suctioned myself to the floor" she said. "Strewth" Bruce said and tried to pull her up. "You're stuck fast girl. I'll go across the road and get Cobba" (his mate).

 

They came back and they both tried to pull her up. "No way. We can't do it, let's try Plan B." Cobba said "Plan B?" exclaimed Bruce. "What's that"?

 

"I'll go home and get my hammer and chisel and we can break the tiles under her and release the vacuum." replied Cobba

 

"Spot on" Bruce said. "While you're doing that, I'll stay here and play with her breasts"

 

"Play with her breasts"? Cobba said, "Not exactly a good time for that mate?"

 

"No" Bruce replied, "But I reckon if I can get her wet enough, we can Slide her into the kitchen where the tiles aren't so expensive