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The major supermarkets have introduced purchase limits to combat the Bog Roll Bandits. All below are per person limits. Asda - 2 bottles Hand Sanitizer, 24 toilet rolls. Tesco- 2 bottles Hand Sanitizer, 18 toilet rolls, 2kg dried pasta Sainsburys- 3 bottles Hand Sanitizer, 12 toilet rolls, 1kg rice or quinoa. Lidl - 2 bottles Hand Sanitizer, 1 Trumpet, 1 Diving suit or MIG welder.

He was putting it away as he entered the park, he's not a monster.

I'll be gobsmacked if I find out us and the Yanks are the two countries out of everyone else who put economic interests a bit higher than the rest of the world, shocked I tell you. I fucking loathe the fact that these cunts keep getting voted in by people in certain areas of England and they're not even hiding the fact that there's going to be deaths AND THEY'RE NOT GOING TO DO MUCH ABOUT IT. USA and Britain, cunts who've been chosen by the misguided or other cunts or now going to have blood on their hands, (they have already but they're taking the piss now). It's all about the bottom line and has already been alluded to, they'll get the answers that suit them and dismiss the ones that don't.

Sales of soap will not change.

Fat little cunt

The Lewisham metropolitan elite don’t concern themselves with the problems of your type.

Just wait til you get the munchies and the cupboards are bare.

Boris, "I'm washing my hands" We know

Tories killing off their main votes. Fucking clueless

How the fuck am I going to fix this whilst sat at home watching heirhunters?

I love that they keep acting like Athletico playing defensive football is new, it’s literally the style they’re known for under Simeone. It’s also a perfectly viable tactic, these bitter cunts need to stop whinging when their favorites lose out to it, many of the same pundits were pulling themselves like mad when Chelsea knocked Barca out years ago by defending deep and hitting on the break.

Hold on, I hope that statement about the quinoa isn't true.

Didn't envisage j69 going against popular opinion

Hunt was from a time when the government were vaguely competent and evidence based. What gives you faith in the current lot of charlatans I dont know. So the CMO said a few things which made sense to you? But apparently contradict the advice of most leading epidemiologists and experts on countries that have actually dealt with SARS successfully and got coronavirus under control currently? And by sheer coincidence, this do nothing protocol happens to be the easiest and most cost saving in the short term? Okay.

Aye but you know that if Hunt was still in the job he’d be toeing the same line.

How is allowing major gatherings and open schools delaying the peak? This is an extremely new disease. Even delaying things a month will bring new forms of testing and treatment. The government seems content to allow a lot of extra deaths in order to make ‘global Britain’ appear open for business.

It’s extremely British of them to base the entire response to this on the certain, immutable fact that after a few days of isolation most Brits will say “ Fuck this- pub time”

You could see the stress in the face of these advisors. Boris has never been so unwilling to talk in his life, political passing the buck at it's best.

Seems like a reasonable press conference to me. I believe the Chief medical officer over the twitter experts

If you want to delay it to the summer then surely you need to start acting now? Unless this is the government's grand plan to solve the social care crisis.

"The so called Lewisham metropolitan elite will still need hot water at wash hand basins to prevent the spread of potentially deadly viruses, ya cunt ye"

Doesn’t this contradict itself? How the fuck do they think people get to matches? Have they ever been to a match? It’s impossible to avoid physical contact at one.

Dangerous times. When people realise they don't have to commute to be productive and the magical cloud being doesn't seem to care whether they're in the big stone building every Sunday or not...

Ireland has closed all schools and colleges. They've even banned mass, that's how serious this shit is.

Also, bollocks to bog roll, I’m stocking up on booze if so.

SPOILERS FFS

Well no, I meant the Blair days silly. I think a lot of the problem is we have become complacent about infectious diseases because science has been so successful at eradicating them.

Europe should be relieved tbh. Of course, leaving the UK and Ireland open will be nothing about political and personal gain? .where are his golf resorts again?

They’re on a par with other clubs in the division at present in terms of stature - Ipswich and Bolton for example. Then you have clubs like Man City, Leeds and Southampton who have been in the third tier in the ‘modern era’. Although, to be fair, their players are unlikely to have played in front of such a poisonous atmosphere as the Mackems seem to be so adept at creating for their home games

This was the first and last time Rayvin tried to heckle Blair.

And it's just Mrs. Brown's Boys: D'movie on repeat. Actually he's the sort of cunt who'd probably enjoy that.

His last parting shots were the icing on the cake : "Tomorrow's another day" "Sitting 10 men behind the ball, it's certainly not genius" "Anyone can get beat" Go on, dry your eyes with your diamond encrusted handkerchief you little fat arsehole

Michael Owen, bitter, bitter, horrible cunt. He's a Scouser tonight, 100% he'd be Man U if they were on the up. I hope the cunt gets forced to watch film after film in the afterlife the fucking beige little runt.

Nah, even a nasty virus does have its pride.

You had your cock out walking around the park ?

As an alternative to the virus, I think I'd die laughing if the Premier league was cancelled without awarding it to the scouse cunts.

Letting away fans attend the Liverpool match yesterday was fucking insane.

Surely this time people will see through him. I called this last week iirc. The US is potentially looking at millions of deaths (yes, millions) and a recession which will destroy his stock market legacy. This will blow apart the idea an advanced society can function without some socialised healthcare. This fucker is toast, I just hope this particularly germophobe octagenatian dies from it. Karma.

Owen nearly in tears

Even by our low standards I don’t think that we will lose all our remaining games. But even then it’s not unrealistic that 35 points are enough. Let’s all celebrate this fantastic achievement and praise the manager and the benevolent owner.

Well at least he’s acknowledged the dog’s existence.

Not only is he dyslexic, he’s also got the raccoon virus.

Fuck me, Gloom has the @Monkeys Fistvirus!