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The bamp family out the back of mine. Two cars turned up earlier, two adult women and their kids spill out. There's camping chairs on the front lawn, the kids that arrived in the cars are tearing up and down the street with the bamp family kids, wrestling one another etc, then going and talking to their respective parents like that's all safe and no bother. Never mind the contagion, the fucking noise of it. I wouldn't care, but these arseholes have got 4 kids that weigh about the same as 7 kids. They don't need mates shipping in to play with. I am fighting the urge to go out the back and burst the lot of them. I hope they all get a dose, this lot won't all make it. One of the little fat kids wears a hairband like a footballer constantly, the giant little moon-faced cunt.

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Can you imagine if he had? “Season 23 Episode 4 Neighbours From Hell The empty shell that used to be Gemmill is slumped in a darkened room, the only sounds are the gentle whirring of the Roombas fruitlessly attempting to clean up the piles of discarded sourdough bread which litter the room. Suddenly, a bang on the window interrupts the relative peace, and the camera swings to the slight gap in the heavy drapes. We see the top of an obese, cone-shaped head, bouncing up and down at the window like an excited child, as we hear a shrill voice asking, ”I’ve got a new metector, do you want to come and look for spoons with me Gems?” The camera cuts back to our once proud subject as he forlonly wraps the rubber around his bicep, searching for a usable vein”. Mr. One-Punch is gone.

That’s not what I heard from the tubby 10 year old who says she knocked you spark out after you moaned about her playing on her bike. The Wideopen Wanker she called you.

looks like he's going frankie goes to hollywood-style 80s chic RISHI SAYS RELAX

Dear Mike

At least Gelsenkirchen is one of our twin towns and we've got a tradition of footballing exchange - not just friendly matches, but a delegation including the mayor came over for that England-Germany game that was Sir Bobby's last public appearance, and so on. Sunderland's German twin town is Essen. Essen's biggest club plays in red and white and is currently in the fourth tier. Sounds like a decent match if you ask me.

What the fuck? TT fan fiction?

Somebody’s a sour dough today.

'Didn't have any mayonnaise, used...'

Worse at comebacks than Michael Owen this kid

It's all fine and well announcing a furlough extension but some companies might not be able to last another 4 months with zero productivity.

embrace it. there are few things as uplifting during lockdown than gorging on freshly-baked bread. having typed that, i realise just how much i need to get out of the house more

Enjoy Burton

Everything I do, I do it for some bat related flu

Hey guy! You do the math!

Q. Why are clubs at the bottom against ending the season early? A. Because they (R)

Avast yee Arrrrrrghhh me hearties need not fret the scallywag scoundrel ashley won't plunder us no more. Arrrrrrghhh

I've gone for RBL personally so I can get used to supporting a soulless new money club

@Ant how does Board Reputation work? Am I just set at max and everyone else gets indexed against me?

Monga.

It's been deliberate policy. People are triaged in the community and often given palliative care. If you're in a care home with a DNR you're not going to hospital. There needs to be more transparency about this issue. Edit. I might add that our death rate is appalling. Using worldometer data, of the people who have had a positive test, 14.4% have died. I mean let that sink in, its horrific. Especially since no recovery data has been published.

The whole basis of that argument from the government seems to be about the NHS not being completely overwhelmed. Whilst simultaneously ignoring virtually all non essential treatment being cancelled and everyone in a care home being left to die

If the time trigger had occured, Ashley would have already pulled the plug, pocketed the £17m and run off to the yanks. There is no conceivable way that a £17m deposit was put down without every possible contingency being covered, and plenty of time for the deal to be completed. I suggest that there is probably a time trigger only because there will need to be some kind of exit clause for if the sale doesn't eventually go through - however, that exit clause will not be one which delays from the Premier League are capable of triggering. This takeover is going to destroy you, isn't it?

Full furlough scheme extended until October. I wasn't expecting that. Fair play to the Exchquer. Going to hard for some of you lazy loafers to remember what work is after this!

it'll be good for yedlin to have some competition

I actually quite like it but it's very much post-industrial, resolutely unspectacular, has no real public image despite its size, and its nearest airport is in Düsseldorf.

I guess some people are better than others at concealing who they are

https://www.cyclingnews.com/news/team-ineos-sponsors-venture-seeking-up-to-pound500-million-in-state-support/ This cunt moved to Monaco to save himself £4bn in tax. I hope they tell him to go get fucked.

I hospitalise people with one punch, so it's nowt to do with me.

Shut the fuck up and get on with your work. I'm not paying you for nowt.

i know england doesn't have much history of success in global sporting contests but we're fucking storming the global excess deaths competition.

Been a while since I was last at the match tbh, do they still play O Fortuna?

Leported.

On this day 14 years ago!